The Semi-Gloss

Our Associate Editor ponders the taste of symmetry, and other items from this week's episode.

Jun 14, 2011

Meanwhile the JAM boys are trying their darndest to find a gym that lives up to their immaculate taste. CrossFit has proximity, but not pretty on it's side, and since no one is going to hire a fatty (JAM's words), he's got to keep working out there. The solution -- fix the gym's showers.

I have to, have to address the idea of bathing at a gym. I love you Jeffrey Alan Marks, I do. I think you're brilliant. I have dreams about your kitchen wallpaper, but the chances of me ever bathing at a gym are so low it's impossible to see them without a microscope. For serious, no way. Never. Maybe my hovel of a gym isn't as luxurious as other places (we have a nice chalkboard calendar though), but I'm not getting into tub there unless there is a fresh plastic liner every time I arrive, and that's actually even more disgusting now that I say it out loud.

JAM puts one of his Demetra gals on it, but unfortunately she's not moving up to Number 1 status until she gets the square drain from Waterworks he requested. After some cajoling and some personal demolition (and thankfully many, many shots of shirtless Jeffrey and Ross -- which take a moment to look at their photo diary -- it's precious), it works out and looks really, really fab. I pine for those navy blue penny tile floors. Perhaps if my gym had them, I would be spending less time convincing myself that a doing YouTube workout videos is enough physical fitness. Kudos JAM, Ross, and D2!

Nathan only briefly graces us with his cherub face as he attempts to outwit Mary for a pair of studded stools and convince her of the splendor of her painting from Konstantin. I too love the sketch but I do recommend he not ink it permanently on his back. (One of the pugs perhaps, but not the whole affair.) Also stop bringing your dog to Mary's, apparently people are doing that a lot.

Next week Mary has a problem client (those floors are phenomenal, cool it lady) and Martyn gets to play in the Jimmy Choo founders sex pit (yay!), are you excited or what? Also leave a comment. How many commodes is too many commodes? Methinks seven! Would you bathe at your gym?