This is my favorite season so far because it's the most personal. I mean, all seasons are personal, because business IS personal but this 4th season, the cameras really go behind the business side of it all, and into our private lives.
Derek and I are now continuing our quest for a little baby girl, and to do that we need an egg donor. Watching this episode I can see how Ryan – and some people in the audience – thought it was a bit odd to ask Emilia to donate her eggs. It think so too, frankly, now looking back at it. I act on spontaneous emotions. I'm driven by love and not fear, and sometimes that creates oddness in my life. But at the moment it felt natural; she is so beautiful and intelligent and graceful.
For us there is no easy choice, no "perfect" alternative, no easy way through this. We feel blessed to be able to go through the process to begin with, that's just amazing that we can have kids, period, but the process isn't as straight forward as one would think. Just logging into an egg-bank and buying eggs from one photo of a woman online is not the path we want to take. I am glad other couples out there do that, and the option exists, but we want to meet and know and love and look up to the woman that will ultimately be Milla's biological mother. Anyway, the answer was a no, and there are no hard feelings. We totally understand, and from there we kept on looking, searching, wanting, and in the meantime we are hoping Ryan and Emilia can stay friends with us because we really do like them a lot. I'm so happy Ryan and I have come to this place, finally, and I mean that. You will have to continue watching but, yes, we do find our egg donor later in the season and we couldn’t be happier right now. That's all I think I am allowed to say today. Love you all!