This was a very personal episode for Emilia and I, and I think it's unfair that Emilia doesn't get to do interviews as well on the show so that you all can know what she's thinking as well. So, this week's blog has been written by Emilia, so that all of the fans can know what she thought about this episode:
I have been getting so many questions about this 'egg' situation. Frantic calls from my family and friends in Athens and London. The occasional stare at my stomach as if in search of a bump ("No guys that's not what they mean by donate eggs.") and some odd questioning of how I am feeling and if I need to eat or sleep. Ha.
So I thought I would address this myself.
First of all, I love the thought of Fredrik and Derek becoming parents. I believe they are generous and beautiful people. When they asked me I was indeed shocked. This season has been keeping me in this constant state of shock and all you see are my dumbfounded facial expressions.
I'm very nervous about how I would phrase an answer to such a delicate and loaded question. So I instinctively said I would think about it. I really felt that I owed it to them to think about what this actually means, to really devote time to understanding couples with these challenges. My "middle child-minded" disposition has me always springing into protective and rescue mode, so how could I NOT think about it!
We women have to think long and hard about such a decision as it requires a bigger physical and emotional commitment than it would for a man. So I weighed every aspect of it and considered even what kind of a mother I would be. I realized through this process that I am a traditional girl with dreams of one day becoming a mom myself. I have put off having children of my own, for now, because it is the most important decision I will make. It took me forever to find the man I would want children with! I want my children to be with me all the time, raised by me and cuddled and loved by me!
So the thought of knowing my child is somewhere in the world without me just hurts my soul. I have a profound respect for women out there who donate their eggs, who are surrogates, and especially parents who are adopting children. But for me, the ability to detach emotionally has never been something I was good at!
With every challenge they face, I truly believe that Fredrick and Derek are being led to the right person, to the ONE. And for this I am sincerely happy. Luckily they get a head start on us and I can one day ask all the baby advice in the world.