Million Dollar Recaps

Tantrums, caviar, and assistants all around.

Feb 18, 2011

In an instant, Madison snaps and knees his client, Ismir, in the stomach, dropping him faster than the price of Bernie Madoff's old condo. By the time Ismir recovers, all he can do is shake his troll-fist as Madison rolls, top down, on the Pacific Coast Highway...

Of course, I myself am on the Wishful Thinking Expressway here, but I have no choice. Seeing Madison take abuse from clients every episode is getting too hard.  Episode 3 is the worst he's had it, as Ismir fires Madison for not negotiating a deal where he basically gets paid to buy a house. (See photos from Episode 3.) Madison is hampered by the fact that Ismir insists on going to the negotiations, where he acts like a toddler with an itchy sweater and a runny nose. It's too bad Madison forgot Ismir's sippy cup and Ziploc-full of Cheerios. 
The Joshes, meanwhile, are having a ball. Josh Flagg and his mother swing by some kind of caviar restaurant to do a caviar taste-test. That's really a sign that you've eaten a lot of caviar—just normally eating it is too boring for you, you need the taste-test gimmick make it tolerable. Makes sense, as Josh says he's been eating caviar since he was six (the rest of us settled for Fruit by the Foot). 

And Josh Altman? He teams up with Mauricio to list a house that can only be described as the boooommmmb. No white plastic-y counters. No weird tribal masks in corners. NO CHANDELIERS OR WROUGHT IRON HANDRAILS. There are none of the usual weasely terms like "in-room windows" or "exclusively small kitchen." Just ones like "a billion square feet," "massive guest house that is as nice as a real house," and "actually tasteful rooms." (Rate the best and worst properties from Episode 3.)