Million Dollar Recaps

The Joshes go in search of exotic thrills.

Mar 4, 2011


I feel like a parent who just opened their kid's sock drawer and found a bong. Because this week, my Million Dollar babies... they're experimenting!

Josh Flagg (aka the Josh-o-Dork) steps into the topsy-turvy realm of commercial real estate and gets a taste of the Candis Cayne. Josh Altman (aka the Real Estate Bro-bot) pauses his sales script and adds some major love-code to his operating system.  And Madison Hildebrand (aka just Madison)... well, actually, he just takes on another client who seems to want to assault and murder him. Phew! At least some things never change.

Now, before we get into it, does anybody have any eye-cleaner? Or maybe just a Sharpie to black out my eyes, so I never have to see something as awkward as the Josh Altman and Heather kiss again. Don't get the wrong idea. Unlike the teaser version of Madison, I'm 100 percent on board with this relationship (the in-episode Madison seems to be, too). But when Josh says, "come here," and pulls Heather in... I had to turn away from the TV and cover my eyes and plug my ears and quickly go out and bury my TV in my yard. They kiss like two dolls having their faces rubbed together. Whenever I kiss someone on a first date in front of lots of cameramen, I'm much smoother than that. (Check out photos from Josh and Heather's date.)

As awkward as it is, it still seems more natural than that house in Topanga Canyon. Josh A. and Jimmy Quill decide to switch up their game, and market the "Circles of Hell" to people who want to use the property for horses. They manage to snare the owners of a non-profit foundation, who, against all odds, really like the house. "So, you want it? You want it? I can feel it," says Jimmy Quill, as it becomes increasingly clear why he had to bring on Josh A. to help.