Amy Laurent

Amy shares one of her most important dating rules.

on Jun 25, 2012

I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Emily and Julia for several years, and I truly admire them both. They’re strong, successful women, and a lot of fun. And I’m well aware of the fact that there are going to be different opinions among the relationship experts. With that in mind, while I do respect the other women’s opinions, I can say with confidence that MY RULES WORK. They serve a great purpose. Trust me, they have been used to great success with hundreds of clients over the seven years of my business. Lately, I’ve been reminded of the truth of the rules, as I’ve used them myself! Now that I am dating again after the AB hiatus, I can attest to the fact that whenever I go against the very rules that I have laid out with purpose for my daters, I get burned. There should be nothing surprising about that.

No one is perfect, and dating is not easy. But I realize now more than ever how important it is to have a clear guide for how to date, and how to handle the challenge of it. (I believe this so much I wrote a book about it! Out in August from St Martin’s. More here! If my new dating experience has done anything, it has reinforced my confidence in the guidelines and advice I give my clients. And it’s reminded me that the rules are for everyone: matchmaker, expert, dater, or Dr. Phil (OK, he’s married, so nevermind).

The rules aren’t cumbersome, and they don’t compose a long, rambling list, either. They are few and they are simple -- easy for practically anyone to follow. Unfortunately, no one follows the rules all the time. It’s hard when your own heart is involved. The important thing is to look back on a situation and own your mistakes -- and learn from them. With my clients, I have them give me feedback after every date, and check in every week so we can talk about what’s happening. You’d be amazed how much you can improve as a dater when you spend some time reflecting. And you’d be amazed what men will tell their matchmaker about what they like and don’t like in a woman’s behavior. And I’ve got 7 years of feedback to tell me what I should have known:

I lost my marbles for a second with my phone call to “farm boy” Lewis. (And he’s 28! Yikes!)