Just say yes to everything. It’s the fast track to experiencing life. Maybe you believe your life has stagnated. The fun fairy hasn’t knocked on your door with a compelling itinerary. The good news is that the easiest way to shake things up is to open yourself up to opportunities. This “yes” policy works well for people who are waiting for life to happen to them. It actually doesn’t work that way. We create our own reality, and we’re all in charge of our own happiness.
Case in point: I say yes to Reid Mihalko on my show when he asks me to be a kissing model in his imminent kissing workshop at Good Vibrations. To be honest, I’m not feeling like I want to kiss Reid, but teaching a workshop to people who want to learn how to kiss is a worthwhile endeavor. So off to Yes Land I go. Just to clarify, the Sex with Emily show is not all about guests asking me on a date or to kiss in public. My show primarily gives relationship and sex advice in a fun, informative, and as some might say, addictive way.
Reid presents the notion of “dating your species.” He maintains that people constantly fall in love with partners who aren’t right for them. Therefore many of us date outside of our species. How do you find your species? You have to do some serious personal inventory on what it is you want in a partner, a relationship, and in life. We’ve all dated enough Mr. and Miss Wrongs to know that if we had been clearer on what we wanted our relationships to look like, we might have made different choices about the people we’ve dated.
I have many friends in open relationships, also known as polyamorous relationships. As couples, they create and live by their own defined set of rules. Some couples have a primary partner, they might live together and have a bevy of other sex partners who play the role of secondary partners, some even have a third. Reid, however, admits he had 28 sexual partners in the last month. Which is another blog post altogether.
I really struggle with polyamory. While every CONSENTING adult has the right to engage in whatever type of sexual activity they choose, at a certain point sleeping with multiple partners starts to look like sex addiction. As Reid had previously admitted to myself (and several others) as being a "sex addict", it seems that 28 partners in a month falls under that heading. You, Emily, seem like a smart and intelligent woman and I don't think saying "yes" all the time is the smartest way to go. Sometimes a "no" is just as powerful and perhaps (with some men), the smarter way to go.
All I gotta say is I hope you brushed your teeth after kissing "28 partners in a month" Reid.
I got to say , I am as innocent as they come and very straight forward when it comes to sex. However, HONESTLY, You are the only one that makes sense on this show when giving an answer and being genuine. You are the one I would have thought "crazy" But really, I dont think that at all! I do , however think its just going to take that one person to have you realize monogamy is pretty great. I truely hope that happens for you!! You wont be afraid anymore and believe it or not monogamy will be something you will 1000% believe in!!!!!!!
As someone who used to live in date in SF, I love watching you! It brings back good memories of that beautiful city and all of the bad memories of dating in that beautiful city. I only moved away a couple of years ago to have a different life, but from what i see, it's still the same place where pretty, interesting women who have a lot going for them, have to settle for less than average men. As said in another post, you're too cute for that!
open relationships are definitely NOT for me and my husband. simply b/c we are both jealous and insecure when it comes to that department,we have enough to deal with each other,we dont need another person or more coming into our bedroom lol
also a perfect relationship would be my marriage but a bid modified. id really prefer more trust,less accusations,and definitely more fun together! We use to have fun together,dont know where that went. we are slowly trying to make it a priority again,and hopefully it will just come naturally again.
I agree with Emily that most marriages are not enviable. However, this episode gave me the creeps. I won't bother with analyzing why I found Reid and his girlfriend incredibly unsettling and ultimately sad, I just know that is definitely not the life for me, and religion has nothing to do with it.
SexWithEmily - you are my hubby and my favorite part of Miss Advise. You will find what you are looking for. You rock.
i thought you looked mortified when you kissed reid. i'm not sure why you continue to put yourself in situations where you are treated like an object. it's one thing to say yes and attend the workshop - it's another to let this random kind of gross guy kiss you bc he alleges it's for "educational purposes." i think you are too naive sometimes and don't know how to protect yourself from the creepy guys. i think you should become stronger and establish stronger boundaries! you're too pretty for the life you're leading! you don't have to settle!
I <3 you Emily! And I <3 David Rubin. You are fierce, strong and independent!
When David kissed you on the couch at his house I shrieked. It was a great kiss! Better than anything Reid taught you!
28 partners in 30 days?! That sounds like sex addiction -- no judgment though! I think Reid's twitching indicates a different, more powerful physiological arousal response than most people have! So if he's getting, say, 4 times higher chemically from arousal, that would explain his insatiability. Trippy! Is it a physical defect or an evolution?
that Reid guy literally made me have nightmares. please NEVER have him on the show again. what a creep! ick!
I have been in a healthy and happy Poly relationship for the last 10 years. A lot of people are shocked when I say we are in an "Open Marriage". From the outside we look like the poster children for monogamy.
The truth is we had both feel this is all about what is right for us. I mean you will never see me wearing a button saying "I'm Poly - Ask me how"
Here are some of the misconceptions my husband and I have faced...
Misconceptions - here in no particular order are the ones Irish and I have faced in our 10 years together
I am a mindless drone who allows my husband outside our relationship to have other women because I feel like I am not worthy of his love and affection
WRONG! My husband and I are very much in love with each other. I am also a very confident and sexy woman. I am not settling - I am living my life - the life I want
We are in this because of religious reasons
We are both non religious people. We do believe in God but not so much in the organized religion
.We are only in this life because my husband is not satisfied and needs a number of wives/girlfriends to satisfy his sexual needs
WRONG! We have an amazing sex life and that is all I am going to say about that. I dont mind he sleeps with other women because I have been with other men. He and I own each other's hearts. Sex and Love - TWO DIFFERENT THINGS
We are swingers?
No - we have been in the past but we both despise the term swinger. It brings to mind the idea of fishbowl parties and sport sex . While sex is a part of the equation it is not the answer. I want more. I want more with friendship and more.. I want to add someone to our life and our family, I want to fall in love.
We should have never got marriedWhy? We love each other - enough said
.Because I am Poly and pansexual I will sleep with anyone Do you?
I just get a twinge in my panties by hearing hey baby wanna screw?
I am a nympho who is one step away from being a prostitute? (A long time friend asked me that) - I have no answer for that
We are deviant and somehow bad parents because we have a desire for more than one love ? No, my children are grown now. They also know that love should be multiplied not divided.
I live by this moto - love is a gift that should be shared. You are the best Emily... been a fan since the Podcast days..
Reid teaches a fantastic seminar on how to negotiate successful threesomes and foursomes, Emily. You should check him out sometime next time he's teaching it in SF.
What his class really teaches is how to COMMUNICATE about your romantic/bedroom needs and wants in a very adult way. He's a great sex educator!