Cast Blog: #MISSADVISED

Threesomes Please Apply

Wake-Up Call

Just Say Yes

Self Sabotage?

Breakdown Breakthrough

How Soon is Too Soon?

Changing for the Better

Dinner Date

Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde

In Treatment

Prom!

Blindsided

Witchy Woman

The More the Merrier

Fear of Rejection

Fire Away

Great Lake State

Your Love is My Drug

Never Initiate

Horrifically Brutal

Stripped

Carrie Bradshaw Complex

You've Been Advised

No Exceptions

Threesomes Please Apply

Emily can't figure out what about her attracts polyamorous people.

Kissing is one of the first things that can fade in a relationship. Think about it -- the passionate hot kisses you shared in the beginning compared to now. Maybe it’s been six months, six years, or six decades. Kissing tends to diminish as the relationship goes on.

Kissing is key. It can be a bridge to expanding intimacy, and a steamy make out session can reignite the spark. So when Sex Educator Reid Mihalko came on the Sex With Emily show and asked me to help him teach a kissing workshop (re: be his kissing model) I said yes.

As usual I report back to Menace on what’s transpired since I last saw him. I delve into details on the Sex With Emily show about the kissing workshop and how you can’t tell someone how to be a good kisser, you have to show that. So Menace says, “Show me.” Show you? I thought. But this would mean we’d have to kiss. Some background: Menace and I have worked together for a long time, and we’ve never gone there. It’s true that many of our longtime listeners have suggested that Menace and I get together. Maybe it’s because we fight like an old married couple but adore and support each other in a loving way. We would laugh it off. But I can’t say no, as you know. So next thing I know I’m ripping off my headphones and going over to plant one on Menace. Of course he felt uncomfortable (and probably turned on) so he had to bash my kissing skills. Oh, Menace, he doesn’t know a good thing when it happens to him.

On to my date with Zack, fixed up by Nancy, a longtime family friend who thought Zack would be a nice fit for me. Per usual, I know nothing about this date except that he’s athletic (a rock climber, like me) and, well, that’s about it.

It’s one of these perfect days in San Francisco, so I was excited to have an outdoor daytime picnic date with the Golden Gate Bridge glistening in the background. Perfect setting, right?

I was impressed when Zack showed up with homemade snacks and hot chocolate. Conversation was flowing (as well as my blood pressure) while we practiced acrobatic couple yoga.

All seems to be going well until it screeches to a dead halt: Zack tells me that he’s in a happy year-long relationship. He wants to know if I’m cool with that. And oh, do I like women?
Tell me this: Do I have a sign on me that says “Threesomes Please Apply”? Seriously, you would tell me, right?

It’s not that I’m against dating people in open relationships, but this is the kind of information you should acquire before the date. Just for good old point of reference sake. I don’t think sweet Nancy knew when she fixed me up. And he probably didn’t offer the information.Meeting up with Ruby is always necessary to analyze the goings on in recent weeks. I realize that explaining a guy who wants to have sex while playing penetrative scrabble sounds suspicious. A lot of what I do is for research and enhancing my own experience as a sex expert. So to answer Ruby’s question “Do you want to be making out with polyamorous queer dudes the rest of your life?” Probably not. But who knows what will happen next? I guess you’ll have to tune in next Monday at 10 pm. Maybe I’ll get invited to an orgy.

xxx,
Emily

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Just Say Yes

Emily Morse shares all the lessons she's learned this season.

Let’s sum up eight weeks of good times, shall we? A recap: threesome proposals, first date couples acrobatics, modeling for a kissing workshop, hilarious make out with Menace, hot make out with David, strip clubbing on a first date, and let’s not forget awkward phone sex -- we’ll always have that. Sigh.

Miss Advised brought a lot of dating challenges to the forefront, and I loved hearing from all of you about how you could relate to one or all of us in your own way.

So thanks for hanging out for the first season of Miss Advised. We’ve shared many cringe-worthy, awkward, inspiring, and hopefully relatable moments. So either you’re inspired or cringing, or both. Either way we’re all in this life learning together.

A theme in the premiere episode led me to conclude this: While my mom maintains that “never rely on man to take care of you” was sage advice to share with me at age fourteen, my brother doesn’t think it is the greatest advice. I think they’re both right -- I shouldn’t rely on anyone to take care of me entirely, but it’s okay to have a healthy dependence. That really got me to think.

See, I’ve always been a fiercely independent person, so much so that it’s been a struggle both for myself and others to accept that I haven’t made the most traditional life choices. This doesn’t make life easier by the way. In fact, my mom always says, “Emily, you didn’t choose the easy route.” It’s true.I’ve always put work first before relationships. I was raised and grew up thinking that I need to make it on my own without a man or anyone else taking care of me. Trying to make a living solving the world’s sex and relationship issues, getting my doctorate in Human Sexuality, and hoping to change the world so we’re all in better relationships has been exhilarating, challenging, and, well, sometimes downright difficult. I know this is my path, and I’ve been honored to share part of my journey with you.

Oh, you’re curious about David? Well, he is my childhood crush who was catapulted into my life at the perfect moment. I was actually excited about a guy, something I hadn’t felt in a while. It’s like quenching the best kind of thirst.

Things didn’t work out with David, but the most important thing is always this: what you do with the outcome. Whether you’re with someone for two months, two years, or 20 years, the key is to ask, “What can I learn from this experience?” and more importantly, “What was my part? What does this teach me about what I want in the future?”

The David experience made me realize that I am truly excited to find love. To find someone (or many ones). I’m not sure what my next “relationship” will look like: monogamy or some other new-fangled creation. I do know that whatever relationship I’m in I’ll create it with my own rules as we all should. What I was really trying to demonstrate is that monogamy isn’t the only answer. There are many different types of relationship models out there, and you need to find the one that works for you.

And finally, for the finale, some final points:

1. So you think dating sucks?: It doesn’t have to. Everyone says they live in the worst town in which to date. I promise you this: if you say yes to every offer you get for 30 days, you will increase your chances of meeting someone significantly. If you don’t put yourself out there, you can’t be found. Yes, here I go with my yes message, but it can’t hurt for 30 days. Try it. You’ll thank me.

3. Life is full of life lessons: Are you paying attention? Don’t view a relationship that ends as a failure. They’re golden opportunities to learn more about yourself and what you want in the next partner or don’t want: rinse, don’t repeat.

4. Life is a journey: I didn’t make this up. You’ve heard it before. Here’s the truth: your life is a journey and we’re all on our own path. Make it your life’s work to cultivate confidence and your own individuality. Get to know your own self and what you really and truly want in a relationship and in life. You have to TRULY love yourself before you find your true love.

5. What I’ve learned: Life is about experimenting with new experiences. Take what you like from each situation and leave the rest.

6. Say yes: I will always say yes to everything. OK, maybe not everything. But when I find myself saying no, I have to think why. I truly do say yes to many experiences that help me with my research for the Sex With Emily show and for life. I’ve learned so much this way, and don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

My favorite part of the Miss Advised experience was communicating with new fans and welcoming new listeners to my show Sex With Emily, available to listen to for free anywhere you live. I loved tweeting  with you (let’s never stop). I’ve loved, loved, loved hearing from you on Twitter, Facebook and through my website. I read all your emails and enjoy receiving all your sex and relationship questions, which I answer on my Sex With Emily podcast and radio show.

To thank you for all your support, I’ll be giving away five copies of my book Hot Sex to the person who emails me their favorite line or lesson learned from Miss Advised to feedback@sexwithemily.com. Dying to hear your thoughts so please comment below or on my site, www.sexwithemily.com.

What's next for me? Well I’m going to continue on my journey -- pursuing my doctorate, doing my show (which you can listen to from anywhere), creating new apps. Kegel Camp anyone? Experiences make up your life, so get out there and start living. I’m open to finding love, and I know I’ll continue to find it. Love is truly infinite.