Humble Pie

Courtney knows she still has some apologizing to do to Neill.

One of my favorite quotes is, "Humility is the best defense against humiliation." It reminds me to stay graceful, poised, kind, and humble. So with that said, before I get down to business, who wants a slice of humble pie? Aww heck, I think I'm going to need more than just a slice…

Dinner with Matt was incredibly emotional. To date, that dinner haunts me. I remember sitting at the table thinking, "This isn't how we are. We never fight. We never argue. We always have each other's back. This isn't how best friends should be. No person has ever come between us." Throughout the conversation, no matter what either one of us said, we couldn't agree on anything. And in typical Courtney and Matt fashion, we both stuck to our guns. Hard. I left that dinner wondering if our relationship would ever be the same and if Neill would be the one girl who I would lose my best friend to. 

Things got put into perspective when I spent the day with Tara and my mom. My mother always has this incredible way of helping me clear my head when it begins to fill with nonsense. She made me realize that although I am entitled to my own (strong) opinion, I let it get the best of me, and as a result, hurt both Neill and Matt. At this point I am looking forward to going to dinner with Neill, swallowing my pride, and saying those three simple words: I am sorry.

But Neill wasn't exactly receptive to my attempt at an apology, and understandably so. While we were eating dinner, I tried to ask more questions to get to know her. But talking to Neill didn't feel comfortable or natural. I REALLY just wanted to cut to the chase and be typical, loudmouth, sarcastic, "in your face" Courtney, but that's what got me into trouble to begin with. And when I finally mustered up the courage to apologize and ask for forgiveness, she wasn't having it. At all. I understand why she was so defensive, and I realize that I made her that way…I just hope she's not one to hold a grudge.

Because Neill and I got off to a really rocky start, I can tell that this relationship is going to be an uphill battle. Neill deserves my sincerity, my kindness, and my apology, and I hope that I get another chance to give her all those things. We will probably never agree on our opinions of right and wrong, because we come from two different worlds, but I hope that we can put this behind us and start over. So far, both dinners have ended poorly…I'm just hoping the third time's the charm. 

And as strange as it may sound, this whole mess has become a blessing in disguise. It has reminded me that I'm not perfect, I'm not always right, and that perception is reality. 

For more of my thoughts, follow me on Twitter @TheCourtneyKerr.


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Who Run the World

Neill talks about her band's debut and being a single mother.

Hello there, beautiful people! Lots of love, love, love to you all! Thanks for hanging in with us here through all these episodes… Who'd have known everything would turn out the way it did? The good news is I believe everything happens for a reason. 

As far as this final episode goes, I don't have too much to say. I believe the majority of the episode speaks for itself… it was nice, funny, awkward, charming, and in the end, my band got to play! I was very happy we got some of that on the last episode. I love how they showed us (my band, Kitty LaLa) playing the song "Come Home With Me" as Matt and Courtney had an intimate stare/gaze-into-my-eyes-before-we-kiss moment... Hey, that's what I write for, moments like that!  

Anyway, the show was a success, and to conclude it all, I've got to give you a bit of my "behind the scenes/is it time to pull my hair out/what did I just do" inside scoop!

1. Filming a reality show is the most stressful job I've ever had in my life! 

2. I was writing and putting my band together as the show was being filmed… Talk about stress! Aside from the fact that I'm a new mother, that one really took the cake! Glad you all got to see a glimpse of our Dallas debut. Very proud of myself and the guys… Kitty LaLa killed it!

Thank you everyone for all of your sweet, beautiful, and encouraging words. It means a lot not only as a mother, but as a single mother finding her own path, a singer/songwriter/entrepreneur, and most importantly, a young woman coming into her own. I consider this experience as a true blessing. I see all the beauty that could've come from it along with everything in between… Thank you all for your sweet words and encouraging statements. Everyone on the show has been such a blessing to me and my son. I love all of you! 

I would love to hear from you (seriously!). You can contact me via Twitter @NeillSkylar or Facebook me (if my personal page is overloaded, just hit my fan page and I'll be sure to get back to you even quicker, hehe).

And please be sure to like my band Kitty LaLa or follow us on Twitter (preferably both) @KittyLaLaMusic! Here's our new music video, "Come Home With Me" --

Love you all so much! Please keep in touch! Muah! And for all those single mamas out there, let's stick together. If we can do all that we do, we might as well take over the world! All my love, heart, and soul to you all! God Bless! Once again… XOXO! 


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