Watching the finale of Most Eligible really brought back a lot of emotions for me. It reminded me of so much… the good times, the bad times, the lessons of learned, the lessons I've taught, and the friendships that mold my life and me. But most of all, it reminded me what I've learned about love. You have to give it to receive it. You have to be selfless with it. You have to do it unconditionally. You have to remember that you might lose it. And you have to recognize that sometimes when you go out on a limb with love, it can change everything...
The love that I share with most of the people in this cast is beyond any other type of love I've ever experienced. All of these friendships fuel different emotions in me and cater to different parts of my personality, and I love each friendship completely differently. Although Drew and I have been through our fair share of drama, I have learned that I love him because we are so much alike. We both have larger than life personalities, say exactly what we think, and are hopeless romantics at heart. Tara is the big sister I never had and always wanted, and I love her so much, because I admire her and really treasure her advice. And then there's Matty... My relationship with Matt has gone through every stage possible. Our friendship is truly unique. If you would’ve told me at the beginning of this process that we would end up exploring something romantic, I never in a million years would've believed you. But I guess that's the funny thing about love. You never know where its going to take you next...
I don't know what the future holds or what will happen with Matt and me. I don't know if he and I will ever date, be in an exclusive relationship, or if he will ever be ready to settle down with just one woman, but I do know that he and I will always be in each other’s life in some capacity. Since that fated night at Possum Kingdom, our lives have taken us in new directions, and new doors have opened for both of us. Although we explored romance, it didn’t really pan out how I know y’all, or I, hoped it would. I want more than anything to be valued, and respected, and treated with sincere, genuine, selfless love by a man who is deserving of my heart. Matt isn't in a place to give me what I want right now, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I'm smart enough not to sit and wait on a man's timing to kick in. I truly believe that someone perfect is out there...and perhaps he has every quality on my silly, never-ending checklist!
This entire process has been so eye opening. Not many people get the joy of saying that they can watch their friendships and relationships evolve on playback week after week! I got the chance to finally see myself how others see me, flaws and all. And make no mistake, if I had the chance to go back in time during all this, I wouldn't change a thing. The lessons have been invaluable and the growing pains have been worth it. The stories definitely are not over, and I hope we are given the opportunity one day to allow y’all in our lives again week after week!
I would love nothing more for y’all to follow me on Twitter @thecourtneykerr for my continual, and sometimes witty and sarcastic, commentary! Also, for my fellow fashionistas, my fashion diar http://www.whatcourtneywore.tumblr.com has been an opportunity for me to share all my fashionable looks with y’all all season long. Moving forward, the blog will have daily updates with my favorite new purchases, beauty and hair tips, hot trends, and everything style related that I'm currently obsessing over! Enjoy!
Thanks for all of your support this season on Most Eligible Dallas!
All my love,