Not Sorry

Drew stands by his actions in the altercations with Courtney and Matt.

So Eliot the dog is on the road to better health with Tara. I have to say, Tara is the Mother Teresa of dogs in Dallas. CoCo was a rescue dog I got when I lived in California, and I'm very grateful for her. She is wonderful! I just had to praise Tara for her selfless work helping animals in Dallas.

Dinner at Daylon's! Let's talk about Courtney's comment that, "People are so eager to fall in love". Love is powerful. It feels good when you are newly in love. Everything is wonderful, and I feel happy when I'm falling in love. It makes me feels like an energetic 18-year-old kid, and I love it. Maybe I'm addicted to falling in love, and it might be an issue for me. Honestly, Courtney, I don't freaking care. I feel like Courtney's comments about love and relationships are coming from a very conservative perspective. Courtney gives me the impression that she is too wound up. Honestly I feel like she needs to be unwound. 

I really do feel like Courtney dislikes me from time to time. I think she's upset because I won't follow her lead. As for her ways of talking over people, I do feel that because of her insecurities she sometimes walks over people. Sometimes she needs to shut up and listen. During the conversation at the dinner, it felt like Courtney didn't even care to listen to anything I had to say. She only cared about her opinion and not anyone else's. It was a one-way conversation with her, and it came off as a lecture. I got into the fight with Courtney because I was just trying to be heard. I think sometimes Courtney would make a compassionate dictator. As for my cursing, I don't completely regret it. Those words were fueled by emotions, and I was fed up with her high and mighty actions. I honestly felt like she needed to be brought back down to reality. Look, Courtney and I friends, but we constantly have disagreements like brother and sister. I sometimes wonder when she breathes, because she dominates the conversation so much. 

Matt's charity… I'm not on board with it, because I don't feel like his heart is really there. It feels like a one time shot to make him look good. It felt like a PR stunt, and it didn't feel right to come out for his gala. I chose not to support it, because I wasn't sure if he was truly serious about it. Matt needs to prove himself and not take make it a one-time thing. I might be over-reacting, but I want to support something I know is being done for the right reasons. 

I have known Matt for over two years, and he still doesn't get that I don't drink. He has offered me drinks many times in those two years. I have told him many times that I don't drink and explained to him why. I think Matt sometimes lives in his own world with a very warped concept of reality where everything revolves around him. Look up "narcissist" in the dictionary and it gives the perfect description of Matt. Look at the double date with Courtney and Matt. Matt couldn't handle Mark and his humility. He has to name drop and talk about money. 

As for the confrontation with Matt at the tasting for his event, I went with an open mind. I came with hard questions to test him. Also I feel like Matt was strong-arming me to be a part of his event. The charity didn't sit right with me. I couldn't feel his passion for it. I tried to give him a real opportunity to show me his passion, but all he wanted to do was show me a party. And that was why I couldn't be involved. He crossed the line by offering me a drink when two seconds before I told him I don't drink. It goes to shows Matt lives in his own world. He needs to lose the dumb jock mentality. 

Not drinking is a cornerstone of my life. Where I am today wouldn't be possible if I wasn't sober. Alcohol and me don't mix well. I haven't had a drink in six years. Some people say after six years I could have a drink and it would be fine. I think honestly think it would destroy me. I'm grateful for everything I have in my life right now.

And on that note, I need to get back to work. I hope you all have good week. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @drewginsburg!

Who Run the World

Neill talks about her band's debut and being a single mother.

Hello there, beautiful people! Lots of love, love, love to you all! Thanks for hanging in with us here through all these episodes… Who'd have known everything would turn out the way it did? The good news is I believe everything happens for a reason. 

As far as this final episode goes, I don't have too much to say. I believe the majority of the episode speaks for itself… it was nice, funny, awkward, charming, and in the end, my band got to play! I was very happy we got some of that on the last episode. I love how they showed us (my band, Kitty LaLa) playing the song "Come Home With Me" as Matt and Courtney had an intimate stare/gaze-into-my-eyes-before-we-kiss moment... Hey, that's what I write for, moments like that!  

Anyway, the show was a success, and to conclude it all, I've got to give you a bit of my "behind the scenes/is it time to pull my hair out/what did I just do" inside scoop!

1. Filming a reality show is the most stressful job I've ever had in my life! 

2. I was writing and putting my band together as the show was being filmed… Talk about stress! Aside from the fact that I'm a new mother, that one really took the cake! Glad you all got to see a glimpse of our Dallas debut. Very proud of myself and the guys… Kitty LaLa killed it!

Thank you everyone for all of your sweet, beautiful, and encouraging words. It means a lot not only as a mother, but as a single mother finding her own path, a singer/songwriter/entrepreneur, and most importantly, a young woman coming into her own. I consider this experience as a true blessing. I see all the beauty that could've come from it along with everything in between… Thank you all for your sweet words and encouraging statements. Everyone on the show has been such a blessing to me and my son. I love all of you! 

I would love to hear from you (seriously!). You can contact me via Twitter @NeillSkylar or Facebook me (if my personal page is overloaded, just hit my fan page and I'll be sure to get back to you even quicker, hehe).

And please be sure to like my band Kitty LaLa or follow us on Twitter (preferably both) @KittyLaLaMusic! Here's our new music video, "Come Home With Me" --

Love you all so much! Please keep in touch! Muah! And for all those single mamas out there, let's stick together. If we can do all that we do, we might as well take over the world! All my love, heart, and soul to you all! God Bless! Once again… XOXO!