Couples Q&A: How The Knights Found Strength in Their Loss
Kirk and Laura open up on their miscarriage and finding strength in the most difficult moment of their marriage.
Bravotv.com: This was certainly a trying time for you both. Tell us what that moment of misdiagnosis was for the two of you and having to wait weeks for a definitive answer.
Kirk Knight: From the second we found that something appeared to be wrong, my heart dropped. Fear and anxiety replaced the happiness and joy I was feeling like an overwhelming weight on my soul. It was an emotional roller coaster and the truth was that I thought of this every minute of the day and felt helpless. Each day you wait for answers and hope that everything will be ok. These were some of the longest days of my life it felt like everything in my world was on hold.
Laura Knight: We were completely heartbroken when the doctor told us that the baby wasn’t developing and that our best route was to have the d&c surgery as soon as possible. Then fast-forward one day and I’m sitting on the operating table with an IV in my arm while another doctor tells me that this was a mistake, there indeed had been some development and we needed more time to see if the baby would grow. I was clinging on to hope, yet I didn’t want to fool myself into believing that all would be ok. The fear was all consuming. It took 3.5 weeks before we had a definitive answer.
Bravotv.com: Tell us about Kirk taking up more household responsibility – has this positive change continued?
KK: I wanted to stay positive and help Laura feel more optimistic as we waited to hear what was happening with our baby. On top of my own emotions, I couldn’t stand watching my wife so sad. She is so full of energy and such a happy woman to see her so broken was extremely painful. The only way I could help was to pick up some of the household responsibilities and relieve a little more of the daily burdens she had.
LK: Kirk took great care of me and tried hard to help me out in any way possible. Household chores are not his forte, but he made sure to be extra helpful while we were in pregnancy limbo. Since then, he makes more of an effort with the chores -- all I have to do is ask!
Bravotv.com: Did you learn anything about yourselves and each other going through this difficult time?
KK: Through extremely difficult times we all look to God, spiritual guidance and wherever we may find some comfort in our struggles. I found that comfort in helping Laura. I believe that it’s not what you are tested with that makes a relationship, but how you handle the test. Some people fight, distance themselves or even blame each other, but Laura and I grew. This is the most difficult thing we have faced together and our bond was greater than ever.
LK: Kirk is my rock, I know that I can count on him though the most difficult of times. As naïve as it may sound, I had never considered what a man goes through emotionally when faced with miscarriage. Kirk was hurting as much as I was and I understood what the loss meant to him as well. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns -- our love for one another will always keep us strong.
Bravotv.com: Your positivity and support for each other during this period are truly inspirational. Any advice to other couples going through a similar situation?
Kirk and Laura: Look to each other for support. Share your feelings and keep hope while focusing your pain and sorrow towards helping each other overcome this struggle. People face these issues more than you realize and in these difficult times, relationships will be challenged. Help relieve stress from each other by keeping busy and spending quality time with each other.