'Online Dating' Recap

The two most opposite people manage to find connections online. E-Cupid does exist.

on Mar 20

So you're back for week two of Online Dating Rituals of the American Male, huh? Alex and Marcus (mostly Alex) didn't scare you away? Great! Let's do this thing.

First up, we've got Brian Reams, a 33-year-old artist/entrepreneur who has creatively named his online profile "Brian_Dreams." Brian claims that at least one woman has compared him to Michelangelo's David, an iconic Renaissance statue of an Italian man with a very small penis. So, compliment?

As he told us in his profile,Brian loves all things beautiful. Beautiful boobs, beautiful legs, beautiful brunettes. "There are beautiful girls online," Brian said, "but you have to go through lot of trash to find them." Why is this guy single, again?

credit: gifrific.com

Our next dater this week is the "SweetSmartDork," Ephraim Hirschfeld, and he's not kidding about any of those adjectives. Ephraim is a single dad to 8-year-old Ben, and his father, Peter, lives with them as he's suffering from emphysema. Ephraim is a successful finance businessman and really in shape—the only reason he's still in the dating game is because he just can't seem to turn the dork factor down. Like, not even a half a notch. I mean, there are three smiley faces in his online profile.