Weddings

Some Wacky Lady Is Planning a Big, Fabulous Wedding ... To a Ghost

Sounds like this British woman found her boo...

“There was no going down on one knee — he doesn’t have knees.” Let’s start there, shall we?

A British woman who claimed she has slept with at least 20 ghosts — which we previously called in an expert to discuss — is now engaged to one of them. Now reread line one. He couldn’t propose the old-fashioned way because he doesn’t have knees.

Moving on. Last year Amethyst Realm (what would you expect a ghost lover to be named, Charlotte Jones?) told British TV show ITV This Morning that she had cheated on her then-fiancé with a ghost. She liked ghost-sex so much, she went on to have “affairs” with many, many more spirits. She became very serious with one. Not sure she understands what “being ghosted” actually means.

She claims this ghost proposed during a romantic couple’s getaway to England’s Wookey Hole caves to celebrate their 9-month ghostiversary. “But for the first time, I heard him speak,” Amethyst told The Sun. “I could actually hear his voice and it was beautiful. Deep, sexy and real.” Perhaps the television was playing a Bradley Cooper interview promoting A Star Is Born in an adjoining room? Just a thought.

FYI, they met during a work trip in Australia and the ghost doesn’t have a name. Just hold those two things in your head for a minute. They also had sex on the flight home. “I was happy and excited — so excited that we had to do something about it,” she said. “So we headed to the plane loo and, well, I am now a member of the Mile High Club.” So. Many. Questions. Did the ghost have to pay for a seat? Did he eat a meal? Watch a movie? Get jet-lagged? Why is he flying when he can fly?

Also this:

“I’d not had a phantom fling for a while and as I was away on business, starting a new relationship was the last thing on my mind,” she told The Sun. “Then one day, while I was walking through the bush, enjoying nature, I suddenly felt this incredible energy. A new lover had arrived…Sometimes I get the feeling that I’m being moved. Orgasms I have with my spirit lovers have been way more satisfying than any I’ve had with ordinary men.”

Could have been turbulence, Amethyst.

She is now in the middle of planning her big day. No word on how she or any guests will know if he actually shows up. “We haven’t discussed the details yet but I think it will be quite a big do,” she said.

Wonder if he’s a good dancer. Does he like cake? What will he wear, a luxury sheet?

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