Advice

How Do Some Long-Distance Relationships Actually Work Out?

Thousands of miles away, but close at heart. 

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry say in the 15 months since they’ve started dating, they’ve never gone two weeks without seeing each other. Now, of course, the duchess-to-be has moved to England, and plans to marry her prince. But while they were dating, the two logged a ton of miles.

Khloe Kardashian basically picked up and moved to Cleveland of all places, to be with boyfriend Tristan Thompson who plays for the Cavaliers. She’s made his home her home as we’ve seen on Keeping Up With The Kardashians and spends major holidays and vacations with her guy rather than her famous family. The (reported) mom-to-be will also likely stay in Cleveland after giving birth to her baby with Tristan.

Khloé even gave advice for nurturing a long-distance romance, saying, “There might be hundreds or even thousands of miles between you two, but you can still share moments.”
"Watch your favorite TV show over FaceTime or do something productive, like go for a run or organize your closets together,” she’s written on her website of how she makes it work with Tristan.

“Nobody says dating long distance is easy — I am so happy Tristan and I live together now!” she wrote. “The extra miles can sometimes make many aspects frustrating. Things can get complicated — you might get sad and lonely at times. (Don’t worry, BTW, that’s totally normal!) However, being long distance also means you get to appreciate one another on a deeper level without the distractions of the physical getting in the way.”

So how exactly does a long-distance relationship work out? How can it turn successful when two people live thousands of miles apart, yet love each other and plan a future together?

Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing), says long-distance can work only if both people prioritize the relationship.

“Long distance relationships can work as long as couples put in the time and effort to stay connected when they’re not in the same place (ideally face-to-face on FaceTime or Skype) and as long as they prioritize regular visits to see each other IRL,” she says.

How long is too long to go without seeing each other?

“There’s no set rule here; but in general, try not to let more than three or four weeks pass without seeing and spending time with each other. Otherwise it may be easy to lead totally separate lives and forget that you’re in a committed partnership,” Syrtash says.

Can you ever really know someone long distance?

“Absolutely! Plenty of great relationships start out this way and/or more couples are facing this as they may be in jobs that take them on the road. Without putting in the work to stay connected (and do regular things together when you do hang out), it may be tough to gauge your long-term compatibility.”

Should you ever move without a ring on your finger?

“In fact, it may be wise to spend more concentrated time in the same place before you put a ring on your finger. It’s important to see how you interact daily and in ‘real life,’” says Syrtash.

However, even with all the technology available, maintaining a successful long-distance relationship is still a big effort. The financial cost of visiting one another can really affect your savings, the energy to travel so often may be draining, and the pressure to make the most of your time together may affect your actual time together.

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