Secret Crush

How to Confess Your Feelings to Your Crush Without Scaring Them Away

You got this.

Finding the courage to look a crush in the eyeballs, and confess that being around them gives you butterflies, rapid heartbeats, and positive thoughts, can be tough. If you've spent another Valentine’s Day alone and you want to change that (plus are eager to see if the person you’re digging, digs you back), there's no time like the present. Now if you’re wondering exactly how to spill your newfound love for a person, without scaring them away, or having them think you’re a stage five clinger, follow the advice from these relationship experts.

1. Send an Old School Note

While you might find yourself about to press the send button on a confessional text that pours your heart out to the person you are digging, you might want to reconsider the mode in which you send that message. Stephanie Lee, relationship expert and the founder of Successfully Me LLC, suggests going old school with your crush confession.

“In an age where technology rules, many are far removed from the old school forms of communication,” Lee says. “Celebrate #throwbackthursday in a new way by giving your crush a note sharing your feelings or asking them if they like you too with a check box for “yes” or “no”.  It will be a cute walk down memory lane while removing the anxiety of putting yourself out there.”

2. Rip off Your Band-Aid Fast

Letting your crush know that you have feelings for them might feel like an awkward thing to do. If that’s the case, you might fall into the trap of procrastinating saying it, letting hours pass by as you remain nervous. Dr. Racine Henry, the founder of Sankofa Marriage and Family Therapy, advises doing it in a comfortable environment and at the end of hanging out, so it doesn’t ruin the time you spend together.

“Right before you part ways after a hug goodbye you can look your crush in the eye and say "I just wanted you to know that I have feelings for you and if you're interested, we can see where this goes,” says Dr. Henry. “Then you say goodbye and leave. If they stop you and ask questions, have a conversation and put it all out there. If they say nothing, that's ok because you were going home anyway.” 

3. Keep Your Cool

If you watch a lot of romantic comedies, you might start to think that the only way to confess to your crush that you have feelings for them is by causing an over-the-top and dramatic scene, where one person is crying, and another person is chasing after them.

But Margaux Cassuto, a relationship expert at Three Matches, says it’s best to try to keep your cool.

“It's always best to avoid over-the-top dramatic confessions, often seen in romantic comedies,” says Cassuto. “Though they may be heart warming on the big screen, they feel overwhelming in real life and might feel intimidating.”

4. Give Them a Gift

Is there every a bad time for a present?! If you spot something that you know would make your crush laugh or that they’d appreciate, you can position it that way without it feeling too silly or awkward. Stephanie Lee says that most people enjoy the thoughtful gesture of receiving a gift. “Whether it’s their love language or not, most people enjoy the thoughtful gesture of receiving a gift,” Lee adds. “Find out what your crush really likes and wrap up your feelings in the form of a gift.”

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