The Real Housewives of Potomac entrepreneur Monique Samuels opened up earlier this season about the miscarriage she suffered after she got pregnant for the third time last year. She writes in a post on her blog, Not for Lazy Moms, that it was 7.5 weeks into her third pregnancy, and she "was a complete mess on the inside" after it happened.
Now, expecting her third child with husband Chris Samuels, she is going through what many women go through who have suffered from a miscarriage (or more than one.)
"Although I have been able to focus on positivity, there are times where I find myself nervous to go to the bathroom with the fear I’ll see blood, anxious to hear the baby’s heartbeat after experiencing unusual abdominal discomfort, or just having the thought of not getting too attached to the pregnancy, just in case I lose it again," Monique admitted in the post. "Although I mourn, I am determined that my loss will not define my future or my current pregnancy. What a relief I felt after I made it through the first trimester; a feeling I took for granted twice before when I carried Christopher and Milani. I feel like a cloud has been lifted."
According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, roughly 15 to 20 percent of all pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage — the loss of a fetus before the 20th week of pregnancy. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists report that about 60 percent of miscarriages occur when an embryo has an abnormal number of chromosomes, simply an accident. But, many times with a miscarriage, the cause remains unknown.
Monique isn’t the only Bravo personality to experience heartache from the loss of a pregnancy.
“Everyone knows someone who’s had a miscarriage,” she wrote. “I’ve read that as many as a fourth of all pregnancies end in one…A few years ago a friend of mine told me she’d miscarried, and I remember saying, ‘Oh God, that’s terrible.’ But I didn’t really get it: how many feelings you cycle through in a matter of minutes. How depressing the process is, and how anticlimactic — the exact opposite of having a baby.”
Her story ended happily with the birth of her daughter Bryn, born in 2010.
The Real Housewives of Dallas’ Brandi Redmond revealed she also had a miscarriage before she and husband Bryan Redmond adopted an infant son, Bruin Charles, this past winter. She had failed to stay pregnant, so they decided to stop trying for another biological baby.
Flipping Out home design pro Jenni Pulos shared her struggles to have a second child with her husband Jonathan Nassos, opening up about her multiple miscarriages and saying, “I decided to open up about my pregnancy journey because I feel like it often isn't talked about or really talked about.”
Outside the Bravo world, many celebs are talking openly about their own struggles with trying to have either their first baby or another one later on.
Comedian Ali Wong miscarried twins and talking about it in her standup led to healing — and fame for the longtime struggling comedian, she tells The Guardian.
“It really helped me when I had a miscarriage to talk to other women and hear that they’d been through it, too,” she said. “It’s one thing to hear the statistics but it’s another to put faces to the numbers so you stop feeling like it’s your fault. I think that’s one of the reasons women don’t tell people when they’ve had a miscarriage — they think it’s their fault. I remember I worried what my in-laws would think, which is so crazy. I thought they’d think their son had married a terrible person.”
Andrea Syrtash is the founder of Pregnantish, a site dedicated to helping people dealing with infertility and fertility treatments. She says that when celebrities open up about their private struggles with infertility, it normalizes it for everybody.
"It's great that celebrities are being more open about their experiences with pregnancy loss and infertility, since it helps others in this situation realize how common it is,” she says. "When we see celebrities with baby bumps and perfect looking families, it's so easy to think that they had an easy path to parenthood. By opening up about their struggles, people in the public eye can help others feel less alone."
Ain’t that the truth.
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