Advice

This Is How Often You Should See Someone When You First Start Dating

It's not once a month ... but it's not every minute of every day either.

The start of a relationship is nothing but heart-pumping jitters and endless smiles over any little thing the other person texts you, gives you, or says to you while you’re with them in person. While you might have the urge to spend every waking moment with your new boo, it’s important to set boundaries so you don’t quit your own personal routine and you keep the relationship on the right track.

So how often is too often to see someone when you first start dating them?

Scott Carroll, psychiatrist and author of Don't Settle: How to Marry the Man You Were Meant For, advises not seeing that person more than two times a week for the first month.

“It’s important to stick to twice a week only so that you have plenty of time away from your new date to give your deepest feelings time to percolate up from your subconscious,” says Carroll. “These deep feeling are important because they will help you see any issues or problems with your new love interest.”

Carroll also advises that spending too much time together, early on, can unwittingly trigger a sense that the relationship is being rushed or trigger one of you to panic and break things off.

“This is a common problem where one person gets too excited about the new relationship and rushes forward ruining a perfectly good relationship that had lots of potential,” Carroll says.

While it’s good to space out seeing your new love interest, it’s also important to make sure you don’t go too long without spending time with them IRL.

“I advise my clients that momentum is key when dating,” says Bonnie Winston, Celebrity Matchmaker and Relationship Expert. “You don’t have to see someone daily, but seeing them at least once during the week and another night over the weekend keeps things moving forward. If you only see someone once every couple of weeks, it's almost like starting all over again from the beginning on each date.”

Simply put, Stacy Karyn, a dating consultant, says that you should keep things as natural as possible in the beginning.

“Keep things casual. If you both happen to want to see each other, make it a point to do so,” says Karyn. “Don’t be needy, but don’t be too distant either.”

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