Advice

What to Do When Your Partner Constantly Talks About Work?

Work work work work work. 

Jennifer Lawrence reveals that part of the reason she and Darren Aronofsky split was because the director wouldn’t shut up about work.

“Normally, I promote a movie, you put the work into promoting it, ask people to go see it, and then it’s just kind of out of your hands. I normally just kind of let it go. Dating the director was different,” Lawrence tells Adam Sandler for Variety‘s Actors on Actors series. “We’d be on the tour together. I’d come back to the hotel, and the last thing I want to talk about or think about is a movie. He comes back from the tour, and that’s all he wants to talk about and I get it. It’s his baby. He wrote it. He conceived it. He directed it. I was doing double duty trying to be a supportive partner while also being like, ‘Can I please, for the love of God, not think about Mother! for one second?’”

We hear you. In an age where employees are accessible to companies 24/7, you’re “always kind of working,” and it’s really hard not to bring that home, says New York-based workplace expert and author of Promote Yourself: The New Rules For Career SuccessDan Schawbel.

“Especially in the entertainment industry or as an entrepreneur, you’re always kind of working,” Schawbel tells Personal Space. “When there’s less of a line between professional and play, people are talking about work all the time.”

Schawbel adds that there’s no way to grow a personal relationship when all you talk about is work.

“If you’re in sales and you take a person out, you take them to dinner or to a show, people want to do business with someone they trust and it’s hard to trust someone who doesn’t talk about their personal life,” he says.

Technology and smartphones have made people on call all the time, so most people don’t hesitate to answer emails on vacation or holidays, especially since more and more people work remotely.

“There’s no 9 to 5 anymore,” Schawbel says. “That’s created a situation where people are always working.”

So it’s on the individual to have some self-awareness and separate their personal life from their work life.

“Some things you can do … put the phone in the other room when you get home,” Schawbel says. “The new vacation is not having your phone on or your phone near you. You have to make rules, like after 7 PM, no phone. There’s always a give and take and you have to decide what’s most important to you. If being in this relationship is important, you have to give up a little bit of work, or give up time with your partner and it probably won't work out. There are trade offs for everything.”

Schawbel recently helped a couple who used to be in bed just staring at their phones, telling them to make changes when it comes to how they spend their time together.

“You can’t have screens open being used after 7 at night, it’s about being aware and committing,” he says.

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