Weddings

Why Do Some People Feel the Need to Get Engaged So Fast? Here's What a Therapist Has to Say

Nice to meet you. Here's a ring. 

Pete Davidson proposed to Ariana Grande with a $93,000 ring after less than a month of dating and they both said they knew right away they had met the one. Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra were engaged after just two months of officially appearing as a couple. Justin Bieber proposed to Hailey Baldwin in the Bahamas after they had just begun a relationship.

In 2014, an Urban Institute study had the marriage rate dropping to 70 percent for millennials, a lower rate than for baby boomers (91 percent), and Gen-Xers (82 percent). Although fewer millennials are marrying, the trend doesn’t seem to apply to Hollywood.

Personal Space spoke to Dr. Jane Greer about why some people feel the need to get hitched (or engaged) right away.

“I think if people are getting engaged quickly, they want the security and stability that comes with marriage,” she explains. “They want someone who will love and care for them. They may have been disappointed with relationships in the past, so it's possible they're now eager to move forward with someone who's ready to seal the deal and get married.”

Why are young people so eager to tie the knot?

”There's an element of spontaneity that goes with a quick engagement,” Dr. Greer says. “People may aspire to be able to cast away their insecurities - ‘I love this man/woman; let's get married! Let's just go for it!’”

But she adds, “I would recommend that people ensure they have the skills they need to make a marriage work.”

“Being able to compromise, communicate, budget, problem solve, handle anger, deal with disappointment, relate to one another and empathize, and more — before tying the knot,” Dr. Greer says.

“Quick engagements can work, but it really requires a certain amount of time and effort for the relationship to solidify and for the couple to really learn how to work things out with one another,” she adds. “They'll need to move beyond their instant attraction — they must ‘sober up,’ so to speak, and deal with life as it is as opposed to the exhilaration they might be feeling in the very beginning. In fact, the ‘honeymoon phase’ can often last for several months to a year, but by the time you move into hard core marriage where you need to consider the other person, problem solve with each other, and get down to the nitty gritty ... well, that takes more than infatuation to navigate the rushing rapids. If a couple does not have that strong foundation, it will only be a matter of time before their individual needs pull them apart.”

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