"If I have any problems, I'm gonna be diplomatic about it. I won’t even keep the taser on her long -- 3 seconds. 1,2,3 that’s it."

“Thank you, God, for sending this angel to sit alongside of me with her Jesus juice in her purse. Girl, pass the flask.”

“Some people don’t get why Mariah and I refer to ourselves in the third party. Well, if you’re as fabulous as we are, you might need a representative. So she is I, and I am her -- She.”

“She got all my nerves. I’m allergic.”

“Honey, we are doctors and doctors' wives. We drink wine; we don’t throw the bottle.”

“She was tipsy boots. She was man down, cold 10, boots in the air.”

“Jackie, I am sorry to tell you, but you are not dealing with a table full of people with manners or lady-like demeanors.”

“Girl, she giving me Ghandi, Mother Teresa, for real, she’s giving me everybody!”

“She is a three year old weasel.”

“I donate to the needy, not the greedy.”

“I am nervous about being in the same room as Mariah without garlic and a crucifix.”

“You thought this s--- was gonna get keep b----es from talking out of turn? You couldn’t have.”

“Girl, you are an actress and I love it, honey! You need an Academy, work!”

"Mariah makes an entrance to a dog party with a fake dog, did you catch that dirt?"

"Why would anybody wanna be in a room that smell like poop?"

"I know the book she's writing now. And the book she's writing now, does not have a happy ending."

"The bitch is back."

"Did your mama tell you to bite me, today? I will sue your mama, Bailey. I will sue her if you bite me!"

“Mariah and I, the way we value certain things makes us different. First and foremost, I waited to have my children with my husband.”

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you, embarrassed myself, but I’m also sorry I didn't really beat her ass like I want to.”

“But that's just not surprising. She has a diarrhea flow, at the mouth.”

“I don't care if he has a little girlfriend, I just wanna know who the little b---- is…”

“She will not be married to medicine, she will be in a cell in an orange suit if she acts like that.”

“Put your two cents on your tab and keep shopping.”

“Our husbands work together, I think we have to have a relationship. And we make it work, while we side-eyeing each other.”

“Fitness does not equal Simone, food maybe, but not fitness.”

“She’s like a little puppet, and Mariah is working them strings.”

“The cake looks like something Elmo would have made.”

Quad: “Are we at funeral? This party’s dead”

“Two bitches fighting in ball gowns.”

“She likes Chateau le Douche from the Masingal Valley.”

“I'll just pay you off to shut you up, because you’re just crazy”

“Let’s hope it ain’t a rubber check, because from what I hear, honey, you do a lot of them.”

“We’re gonna do shows and give light.”

“You better put some pep in your step, run like you stole something.”

“I’m much nicer after a glass of wine.”

“Miss Toya? She can catch fire. That means go to hell.”

“I don’t know honey, it sounds like a medical mistress right here.”

“Maybe your husband has a medical mistress.”

“Where are you? In somebody’s anorexic clinic?”

“You have proven what a low-class person you are. You have insulted me and my family, and I cannot be around people like you. I wish you and you husband the best. If one day you get your act together, and start acting like a doctor’s wife instead of a low-class whore…”

“You did not check your email, of course I am the damn Queen B!”

“Simone’s a lot different form me. Simone drinks, I don’t drink. I work out, she doesn’t work out. I have great fashion sense, dot-dot-dot”

“I don’t walk around and call Duncan an internal medicine doctor, I know he’s an orthopedic surgeon. Catch, she’s throwing shade.”

“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, so I can see ghetto from a mile away. She probably dated a drug dealer at some point. And lucked up on a doctor dude, at the grocery store.”

“Princesses this is not your castle!”

“There’s a reason why she married a psychiatrist.”

“Oh you are so four-faced, not two.”

“Yes, honey! You’re doing it for the GODS baby!”

“Tacky Toya! Treacherous T. Infamous. Dangerous.”

“I have two cats to skin, at this point it’s just about who am I gonna get first.”