Ali's Diary

Hear all ups and downs of Ali's pregnancy in her diary.


September 24, 2009

I think I'm pregnant! That's what the test says. I was locked out of the apartment after work so I went to the bar downstairs to wait for Adam to get home (I ordered seltzer and edamamme). I couldn't stand the waiting though, so I went and got a pregnancy test and took it in the bathroom! It turned positive in like five seconds! When Adam finally go home I walked and told him, "I think I'm pregnant." We both had the same reaction -– "interesting." I think I'm in denial. 

October 16, 2009

It's official! I went to see my doctor today, and I am officially pregnant! He gave me a picture of the sonogram. You can't really see anything except a little sac where the baby will grow. I don't really feel any different, but I am going to go through all the junk in our house and keep nothing but healthy food! 

October 22, 2009

I'm eight weeks pregnant, and I feel like crap. It's like I have a hangover that won't go away. I am nauseous all the time (all day, everyday) and all I want to eat is pizza or salty carbs. I really wanted to be healthy and eat tons of veggies for the baby, but all I want is junk food -– and lots of it. I've been a vegetarian for about two years and now I want chicken and milk (real milk, from a cow and not an almond). We are heading to California next week and I'm dreading the flight and the airplane food. I think I'm going to have to bring food on the plane and also my coffee for café con leche. If I don't have café con leche in the morning then poor Adam's going to have a miserable time on our vacation.  

January 15, 2010

It's a girl! I am so happy. I would have been happy with a boy, but I think deep down I really wanted a girl. I told Adam to get ready for headbands and tutus! I've been dying to buy the baby something but wanted to wait until we knew what it was. So after our appointment I made him stop a children's shop on Madison and we bought her a hat! My winter coat is starting to get really snug –- and by snug I mean that I can get it around my belly or my boobs. I really don't want to buy a new coat, but I also can't get through the next two months wearing Adam's coat. It's just not cute. On a happier note, I am starting to feel less sick!

March 7, 2010

I am 27 weeks. Crazy! We just got back from a weeks vacation in Turks and Caicos. It was SO nice. Adam and I had the best time together. It was so nice to sit in the warm sun and do nothing! The first day we were there I didn't feel her moving at all so I started to get sort of worried. But by day two she was back to her usual kicking around. And no more nausea! We walked on the beach everyday, and I think we might have had lobster at almost every meal. Adam surprised me and set up a ceremony to renew our wedding vows. It was beautiful. He even secretly bought me a white dress and snuck it on the plane. I still can't believe it. I feel so lucky. 

April 8, 2010

I am exactly eight months pregnant. I am feeling pretty huge, but so far I'm not swollen so I have not given up wearing heels. It helps me to feel normal –- and not so short. I can still wear my wedding rings too. Olivia's room is mostly ready. Adam set up her crib and changing table, and I need to make a final decision about her bedding. I don't want a theme! I just want something simple and I'm going crazy trying to find it. Since the baby shower she has a ton of clothes! I'm trying to be really good and not shop because I know she's going to grow out of everything, but it's REALLY hard. There are so many cute clothes for baby girls. We are starting to get really excited! I am dying to know what she looks like. I swear I can feel whole feet kicking me in the side. She is always in the same spot. I get kicked in the same spot and every time we go to the doctors she's in the same position on the sonogram. I wish she could come out and say hello and then just go back until she's really ready. 

May 22, 2010

Two weeks until my due date -- last night we went to the Pearl Jam concert at MSG. They were awesome! People definitely looked at me like I had two heads (or maybe just like I was at a Pearl Jam concert at nine and a half months pregnant). I felt pretty good for most of the show. Towards the end I started to get a little tired, but the real issue was that my feet were starting to get really swollen. My ankles were HUGE and were sort of hurting. I sat for the last 30 minutes of the show. We took the subway home and I thought my feet were going to explode when I was going down the stars. It was probably a good thing I couldn't see them until I got home. No joke, they had swollen to twice their normal size. I've been sleeping with my feet elevated for a few weeks now, but I don't know if that is going to help. They are so bad –- I think I might be stuck like this until she gets here! 

June 3, 2010

Today is my due date, and I don't feel any different at all. I've been 50% effaced for two or three weeks. Adam and I have been trying all sorts of things to induce labor. I take two long walks every day; drinking loads of raspberry tea; eating spicy food; trying pressure points on my feet. I am SO giant! I can barely even wear my flip flops –- I'm not kidding, my flip flops are tight on me! NONE of my rings fit me any more. Moving around is getting a lot harder, but I keep trying to stay active. And it's SO hot in the city. I want to take a shower every ten minutes. I'm dying to meet Olivia. I want to know what she looks like. I want to hold her. 

June 10, 2010

She is a week late! I was starting to get annoyed at the beginning of the week. I was just ready but now I don't even care. She can take another month if she wants! I'm so used to being pregnant that it just is what it is. Adam and I are still trying all our remedies for inducing labor. I've been getting foot massage almost every other day. We took a long walk to the boat house and through the rambles in Central Park today. Adam took my picture on one of the bridges and I almost don't even recognize myself. It's one thing to see your self in a mirror, but in a photo when you get a different view of your self it's crazy. I'm so ready to go back to normal size. People keep calling and emailing me to find out if she's here yet and I can't respond anymore. I just want to be left alone right now! It's weird to feel like I'm just waiting around for something to happen.


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The Privilege of Parenting

Rosie wanted to deal with her own issues so she could be the best parent possible.

People often ask me why I do what I do. I think it is so important for people to understand the passion I have for helping people be the best parents they can be and to get educated about the process. Parenting is truly a privilege. This episode I decided to open up a little about my past to help you understand a little more about where this passion comes from. You were all so supportive when I was honest about my struggles with fertility, so I wanted to be honest with you about my relationship with my own mom as well. The thing is, as parents we help to shape our children. Of course, there are many other things that go into who they become, but parents have a lot to do with it. This honor should be taken so seriously, and I think it’s at the core of what I do.

Honestly at the beginning of the season I had no idea things would take such a personal direction. But finding out I was having a girl and coming to terms with my speech issues brought to the forefront so many issues from my past that I think I had chosen to lock away. I'm good at locking things away in tiny boxes in my head! It’s a survival technique...probably not a good one, but hey, I am a work in progress! Pregnancy is really a time to come to terms with the parts of you that you don't like, because as a parent, we have to love who we are. We have to be proud of ourselves so we can be role models to our children. If there is any self-hate in there, it will get brought out the moment you look into your child's eyes, because you'll want to hide those sides of you and doing that in my opinion always leads to disaster. Children know when you are not being honest with them about whom and what you are.

So I decided to take a long, hard look at who I am, why I do what I do, and to try and get to a better place with what I think about myself so I can be the best role model possible for my children. I hope in some way that understanding better who I am will help all of you in your own lives get to a place of love for yourself. Whether you are becoming a parent, already are a parent, or not one yet a parent, you deserve it! Life is just too short to live so full of pain. If I can do it, so can you.

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