It's hard to believe I only have eleven weeks to go and counting. It feels like yesterday when I had just discovered I was pregnant. The funny thing is, when I took my first test, we had only been trying for a week. It was 8am and I had just woken up. No contact lenses in, and no patience, I blindly opened that pee stick! A moment later, I only saw one line. Disappointed, I threw out the test and climbed back into bed to snuggle. An hour or so later, I thought to myself, I'm in denial, but something compelled me to dig into the garbage and look at it again. And there it was... Another faint pink line! My husband was in such disbelief he made me take two more tests! Now at 8am in the morning, we can feel our little girl doing acrobatics in my tummy. I can also feel her kicking me in the ribs! J
I wrote a song about my hubby, the changes we are experiencing, and it's to my daughter to be. I have been so blocked as a song writer after my band broke up. But now, finally, I realized that my baby is an inspiration in so many ways. Not just in song but in love and in life. Anyway, the flood gates have opened, and I can't stop writing poems and songs to her. I'm already hoping my voice can soothe her when she's upset. In other news, I am hoping that someone could help my hubby understand that yes we need two different strollers, a bouncer, and a swing! Supposedly these are life savers. I'm also hoping that someone could explain to strangers and acquaintances alike that telling a pregnant woman she is going to be huge is really, really rude and quite annoying! It totally baffles me that people have no filter. And just when I think I've heard it all, I haven't.
Today is week thirty, which means only ten more weeks to go. Oh my sweet Lord. I've also been reading up on the birthing process. I am going to try to avoid a cesarean at all costs. I am not passing judgment, they certainly have saved lives. It just seems the rate is so high. It seems like they are given at the drop of a hat. I also keep wondering, will she come on time? Or will she be late? I keep imagining what birth will be like. Mostly what she will be like, who she'll look like? I've had some pretty weird dreams about it too. I've read that pregnancy brings crazy dreams. Well I can say that at least in my case it's totally true! The last dream I had was that I was in the hospital and they handed me the baby naked. She had a head full of dark hair and Steve and I were laying in the hospital bed with her, and she just kept smiling. Then the weird part came. Suddenly we are at my parents' house and I guess I had been sleeping. So I wake up to find them in the kitchen trying to swaddle the baby in napkins on the table -- and the weirdest part was they were using a silver food platter as a changing mat! So bizarre.
It's amazing how pregnancy brings together many different cultures. Especially among women. I've noticed this a lot recently. Living near and working in a big city, I have to take mass transportation. So I take the bus a lot. The other day, there were no seats. It was crowded too but I try not to play the pregnancy card too often, and I didn't try to get a seat. All in the course of five minutes, an elderly Russian woman insists that I take her seat. Of course I tell her not to worry, and that I will be fine. However, she practically yelled at me that I had no choice and that I was not to stand. I of course being really respectful of my elders eventually agreed. As I went to sit down, the bus swerved and people were shoving past me. Another elderly woman grabbed my hand and waist in a very protective manner. I was so incredibly touched by these strangers' care and concern, it gives me hope that there is still kindness in this crazy world. Kindness is contagious, and I plan on teaching my Emma that.