We all like to reminisce about the worst dates we’ve ever had or heard of. Well my buddy “Jack,” a friend of mine, was once set up with a young, attractive magazine editor…great story. Assuming this woman was accustomed to the finer things in life, “Jack” decided to book a dinner at a hot new restaurant in the West Village. He put on his best jeans, his favorite button-down, and got to the restaurant five minutes early. He sat at the bar for about 15 minutes, sweating from nerves and pretending to read the menu in interest. Suddenly, a text came in, informing him that his date was “running a little late” and that he should feel free to sit down at the table. He decided to take her direction and sat down at the table.
Over the next 35 minutes, he had the pleasure of ordering a basket of bread and three diet cokes. Every time the waiter came back to the table, the waiter smiled and asked “Jack” if he “could get him anything else.” The waiter had that obnoxious smile which said, “Hey buddy -- you’ve been sitting alone at this table for 45 minutes. You look like an idiot and diet cokes don’t pay my bills.” “Jack” tried his best to respond with the “I purposely came here early, so I could get a lay of the land… oh and my date isn’t late… she was always supposed to arrive 15 minutes from now…so stop smiling at me…” smile.
Eventually, the date did come. She was extremely apologetic and told “Jack” that he should order two stiff drinks. He ordered two cocktails and some calamari, smiled at the waiter, as if to say, “Why did you ever question me?” The date and “Jack” had a few nice minutes of small talk, when the drinks and calamari arrived. At the very same moment, the date received a call that she “had to take.” She walked outside the restaurant and out of view. After another 20 minutes of painful waiting, he received the following text: “I’m so sorry. I had to run. Work emergency. Please enjoy the calamari for the both of us. Promise not to be so flakey next time.” “Jack” spent the next 5 minutes trying to figure out a graceful way to leave. He downed the calamari, both of the drinks and told the waiter that “we’d” like the check, because the restaurant wasn’t what they were expecting.