Dear Bravo Readers,
Wow! I don't even know where to begin with this episode! I first want to thank all of you fans for supporting me and always having my back. Without you, I would be nothing! I know some of you are disappointed and/or shocked by my "decisions" from this episode, but before you judge me, please hear me out...
I am not here to point fingers or blame anyone. Everyone is entitled to have their own version of the truth and their own opinions. I respect that. I never took a side and never will because that's not in my nature or how I was raised. I know what it feels like to be an outcast or bullied against, and I would never want any of my friends to feel that in any way.
Since I was a kid, my mother always taught me to never get involved in people's issues or arguments. However, when someone's life is in danger or missing, I was taught to be a good friend and always try to do the right thing no matter what. I couldn't please anyone in that winery, and all I wanted to do was have fun because I love enjoying life since it's too short and I love being positive.
What no one understands is that Ashlee has suffered from a variety of health issues. I am not making any excuses for anyone here, but all the girls are aware of her sickness. I never wanted to take sides and never did in the first place. I don't play "high school" games when it comes to my friends. I love each and everyone of these girls and have a special bond with each and every one of them. I see the beauty in their souls and try to be a great friend to all of them. However, I am realizing that trying to be a good friend to all will just end up leaving you alone.
I always strive so hard for us to be ONE and stick together as women. I never like to see my friends arguing or not getting along. If Joey, Amanda, Casey, or Erica were in Ashlee's position and the tables were turned around, I would have done the same thing for any of them because I pride on being the best friend I can be to all of my girls.
I remember my dad once said to me when I asked him, "Who is your favorite child?" and he answered: "Chanel, you see all my fingers? I can't love one more than the other because they are all equal to me," and I finally understood what he meant by that. I try so hard to keep the peace in this group and try to have everyone see each other's sides. Not everyone is going to get along, and I understand that, but I couldn't just sit back and do nothing. I was trying my best to explain to the girls that I wasn't taking a side, and I was just trying to make peace. I really wanted them to understand that I was going to just talk to Ashlee and try to calm things down and make her see their side of the situation so that we could meet them at the boat and finish the day on a more positive note. I am a problem solver, so I always try to solve problems to the best of my ability. But I am also no g-d or the messiah or Jesus for that matter, so I can't force my friends to listen to me. They are all pretty strong minded women and have every right to their opinions- G-d bless them!