Cast Blog: #SHAHS

Reza: Keepin' it 100

Recap: The Shahs Peace Summit

Recap: Recipe for Disaster

Asa's Profound and Cathartic Trip

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

The Return of Lochnesa

Mike: I Will Marry Jessica Soon

Reza Dishes on His Engagement

Recap: Make a Run for the Border

Mike Shouldn't be "Scared" of Other Religions

Recap: Turkey with a Side of Apology

Mike's Inner Struggle

Lilly's Disrespectful Behavior

Mike Takes GG's Side

Recap: Outed by Chihuahuas

Reza: "Lilly Doesn't Understand Friendship"

Lilly's Battle with Foot Boogers

Recap: Always a Lady

Recap: A Little Too Much Diamond Water...

The Shah of Bull Sh--

Reza: "I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut"

Ep 8: Persian Empire Divided

Will Mike Put a Ring on It?

Reza Learns the Power of Apology

Recap: Shah-etiquette

MJ Owes GG a Genuine Apology

What MJ Did was Wrong

Loch-Nesa vs. MJ

Asa's Juice Disaster

Recap: Persian Pride?

MJ's Moral Compass is Way Off

An Offer Lilly Can't Refuse?

Recap: Homo-Not-So-Genius

Mike's Disappointment with Reza

Asa: "I Definitely See Why Reza is Irritated"

Reza on the Fight: "I'm Not Proud of It"

Lilly Needs to "Get More Real"

Reza to Lilly: "Get Off Your High Horse"

Cry Me a River

Mike: Master Negotiator

Lilly: Ain't Nobody Got Time for This

Reza: Keepin' it 100

Reza dishes on everything from his sexuality to Mike and GG's relationship.

 

Bravotv.com: Tell us some more about you, why you decided to do this show and what you hope people will learn about the Persian community in Beverly Hills because of it?
Reza: I wanted to be on this show for one reason and one reason only, and that is to bring awareness to homosexuality in the Middle Eastern culture and more specifically amongst the Persian population. And I have a supportive family, I have an amazing network that loves and supports me, but I know that that’s not the case for the majority. When you have the president of the country I was born in come out and say that homosexuality doesn’t exist in Iran, it breaks my heart and it reinforces the notion that people need to keep hush about this. I thought to myself: if me living out loud on camera will force people to either talk about it, acknowledge it, whether it gives a young teenager a glimmer of hope, or some confidence or courage to come out to his or her family, then whatever heat I take for being on a reality show, is worth it ten-fold.

Bravotv.com: Tell us more about your relationship with MJ? What do you think of her saying you guys didn’t actually sleep together? 
Reza: MJ and I go back 20+ years. We have been very close from the day we met, she’s like a best friend, a sister, a confidant, a colleague. We work together literally in the same office -- our desks face one another. It’s amazing; it's like having a partner in crime 24/7, someone who’s always got my back, supports me, and when someone knows you for 20+ years, there’s like a shorthand when you guys talk -- we can finish each other's sentences or just look at one another and we’ll start cracking up because I know she knows exactly what I’m thinking, and I don’t even have to say two words. It’s amazing to have that kind of a bond and to have it last from high school until our mid-30s.

Bravotv.com: So she in the episode denies that you guys have ever gotten physical. What do you think about that? 
Reza: I think that it speaks volumes about the stuff that Persians need to do to save face. It happened. I will put my $30,000 Rolex on it. Whatever you want me to put on it, I will put on it. Not only did it happen, it happened twice. Not just once, but twice. She used to have the biggest crush on me before I was out. She wanted to hit that from back in the day. She needs to stop tripping and keep it 100.Bravotv.com: MJ started to describe your younger (awkward) days, but please tell us more about them.
Reza: I started out life really cute, and then it went downhill. There are a lot of things that are socially unacceptable in our culture: drinking excessively, drug use, all those things are really taboo, and they don’t just impact you personally, they impact your immediate family and your extended family. And being someone that was gay and in the closet, and not knowing how to deal with those emotions, I turned to food for comfort. And me and food had a relationship because I blossomed into about 300 pounds at one point. And she’s right -- I used to wear thick glasses and I had braces and I had zits and as soon as you start dealing with your issues, the food stopped, the zits went away, I started working out and started peeling away the layers. The authentic me came out. 

Bravotv.com: Tell us more about your work with Sammy, and what you thought of the house he showed you.
Reza: I don’t know if the audience can tell from just one episode but Sammy is an amazing person, really has the most amazing disposition whether it be with friendships or business, he’s amazing. He’s a true businessman but he’s amazing to deal with. He’s all smiles; he’s great. His workmanship and his product are stellar. The homes he builds in Beverly Hills are stand-out. People are still talking about houses that he has built 10 years later. He sold homes that were close to 10 million dollars, we have negotiated in the past, friends of mine that live in his properties love his homes and specifically request projects that he has done. This one was very unique because we literally walked into a shell. You know it’s hard to sell a shell and it was a bit jarring to me and my client, and my client ultimately decided not to embark upon such a huge project and he bought something else. But I’m looking forward to listing that house when Sammy’s done with it, because I know it’s going to be an amazing product.

Bravotv.com: Let’s talk about the dinner with everyone. What do you think is going on with Mike and GG? What are your thoughts about inter-religious dating? What about GG and Asa’s H&M fight?
Reza: When you get six very, very vocal, very passionate, hot blooded Persians in a room, mix it with music and food and drinks, things get heated. Americans, when they see Persians engaged in just a heated debate or conversation, think we're arguing because our hands are flying in the air. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we use our hands a lot, and our decibel and volume is much higher, than your average American might be. Do we argue, do we debate? Absolutely. But is that all we do? Of course not, because, you know for example that argument that you saw at the dinner table? If that was all we did, we would not have such tight bonds and such long relationships. Bravotv.com: Would you be that mad if someone asked if your clothes were form H&M?
Reza: You know what’s hilarious? What is beyond hilarious? I do not own a lot of H&M, I do own some, but the irony of this whole thing? The most beautiful part about it is I’m wearing a Zegna suit, with a purple Zegna shirt when I make the comment about GG not appreciating that comment because basically it means you’re ghetto, I am wearing a tie that my cousin gave me to wear that I assumed was Hugo Boss (for some reason, I don’t know why I did) but that’s a freaking H&M tie! How funny is that that I’m sitting there wearing a $1000 suit, a $400 shirt, and I’m wearing a tie from H&M and I’m talking about how that’s basically her way of calling her a brokeass -- that’s the irony of it. Is my entire wardrobe H&M? Absolutely not. But I feel like the way that it was meant in that moment, you could have substituted H&M for Kmart. I don’t know -- it was used in a way, she used it in a manner and it worked, clearly because it got GG very upset and GG got very heated and combative. Do I have an issue with H&M? Absolutely not. I feel like you can rock H&M -- clearly I’m wearing a $1000 suit and I’m sporting an H&M tie. And I didn’t even know until I looked at it way later. I mean I reached out to my cousin because I didn’t have a tie to match that purple shirt. Isn’t that fantastic that I’m sharing that story too? I feel like if you’re going to be on a show (and I feel like I have a worthwhile message, and I’m not saying the other cast members don’t, they all obviously have their own messages) and I’m trying to get my message across, I’m going to give you me. I have to be me. I can’t try and give a speech about coming out of the closet and people need to support that and then not be real on the show. I keep it 100.

Bravotv.com: Describe some pool party fashion dos and don’ts.
Reza: I had my boy coming over and I wanted to look really good. Sammy goes all out for his parties as you saw -- it’s catered, security, bartender, there were shot girls, there’s a friggin’ tiger at the party you know, DJ, all of that. So of course I want to look good, I want to represent. And I had my boy coming over, so I wanted to lay out some of the new stuff I bought you could see tags hanging out off some of the stuff. I wanted to get a second set of eyes so to speak. When we’re going to a Persian pool party, the irony of it is, at the end of the day -- how many people actually got in the pool? It’s not about the pool, it’s not about anything other than during the day, and there’s a pool at the property. There will be a pool at the location and it’ll be during the day, but that’s about it. You still need to serve it up if you’re going to a Persian pool party.

Bravotv.com: What do you think about all the drama with Mike’s girlfriend and her outfit and then with GG?
Reza: First of all, I make these crazy comments sometimes. I can run my mouth. Lana, Mike’s girlfriend at the time, is an amazing girl and she has a killer body. It looked ten times better in person than it did on camera and it still looked killer on camera. And people were jealous, she looked amazing. And she was doing something that was a little different for us than a normal Persian pool party. She was in a bikini -- you don’t see people in bikinis, and she got in the water, and there was a lot of PDA which isn’t typical for a Persian pool party. So they stood out, and they got some hate because of it. But at the end of the day, I made a mistake by judging a book by its cover because she’s an amazing girl.Bravotv.com: Do you think there is something more going on with Mike and GG?
Reza: Absolutely 1000% feel like there is a lot of sexual tension. Mike definitely loves the attention from the ladies. There’s no doubt about it. Mike wants attention from everyone in the room, forget ladies. If Mike walks in a room, he wants you to notice him -- he wants young people, old people, men, women, he wants the animals to come up to him and ask to be pet. If there was a cockroach on the wall, he’d want the cockroach to give him a little shout-out. Mike works hard at looking good, and he does look good, and he does pay that attention. There is some chemistry, some tension, and if you’re around them, you can feel it. And clearly you saw it at the pool party.

Bravotv.com: Anything else from the episode that you wanted to talk about?
Reza: I mean that whole thing with MJ and her mom and Sammy -- that for me was the most jarring of anything we saw in Episode 1. Personally as someone who lives in that circle and that’s my life, that was really hard for me to watch. Even though I know the type of relationship that the two of them have, it’s such a typical Persian mother/ Persian daughter relationship. Even though she and I have been friends for over 20 years, to hear her mother criticize her that way in front of other people, still every time I see it or hear it, it feels like the first time. It never gets any easier to deal with. I see how much of an impact it has on her. It’s really toxic to be judged and criticized by your parents so harshly on a continuous almost systematic manner -- it really breaks you down. 

Bravotv.com: So next week is your birthday party in Vegas. Do you have anything you have to tease for the viewers to look forward to?
Reza: There’s so much. I can tell you that it’s like hitting a jackpot. It’s like 7, 7, and 7. We hit the jackpot, we cover it all. There’s amazing times, there might be a sloppy moment. There might be a heated moment, there’s going to be some loveable moments there might be some tender moments -- we give you the spectrum in Episode 2. And relationships aren’t always in the same place, so look forward to us exploring, and certain people might get closer, certain people might drift apart. It’s real. The beauty of this show is it’s real. We’re real friends, we really do things together and it’s going to be really fun for people to see how our friendships evolve as the season progresses.

 

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

Ep 14: Reza shocks everyone with his proposal to Adam.

After the Turkey episodes ended, I was thinking to myself, how the hell are they going to top that? Well…an engagement, I guess.

Besides Reza proposing to Adam on his 40th birthday, there was a lot more going on like: Mike and Reza untying the work knot, MJ having a high school reunion at the fertility clinic, and a bunch of Persians sliding on a piece of plastic. Oh and let’s not forget the rise of Lochnesa.

Let’s first start with Mike and Reza untying the knot. These two guys have gone back and fourth all season. Mike claims Reza hasn’t done anything for him, and Reza claims Mike is lazy. So which is it? I’m sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I will say this (and Reza has said this before): no one leaves a thriving business to start a new venture. Last season Mike made it quite clear that the commercial real estate business wasn’t where it was and that he needed to move on to something else. Truth is, Mike had to put in more legwork. Success doesn’t come overnight. However, I’m sure there is some truth to Reza not giving Mike the full attention he needed. But the good news is the two guys have gotten back to what’s really important in life -- friendship. God, I felt like I was watching an awkward break-up with the cliché conclusion of “we’re better off as friends.”

While we’re on the topic of Mike let’s talk about how he told Jessica that they’d get married by the time they’re 40. 40? Really Mike? 40? UM…Can I just say kudos to Jessica for putting Mike in his place and telling him that it doesn’t take five years to buy a ring. She’s right, she’s a good girl, has a good head on her shoulders, comes from a good family, and let’s not forget that she’s CONVERTING religions for Mike. Now, I know Mike wants to “blind the haters,” but he needs to get over himself and just put a ring on it, or he’ll lose Jessica. If you love someone, you can get them a lifesaver ring and it won’t matter. He can “blind the haters” when he makes more money down the line, but he needs to lock Jessica down or someone else will come and scoop her up. Let’s move on to MJ’s eggs. After MJ’s realization at the spa with Vida, she accompanied GG at the fertility doctor. I’m sure MJ didn’t love the surprise high school reunion with the doctor. I’d be mortified, but my embarrassment threshold is slightly lower than our beloved Shahs. I smell babies in Season 4 or 5 of the Shahs. GG said she doesn’t care about a man; she just wants to have babies. With that said, how amazing would it be to see GG and MJ at the sperm bank next season? I can just see GG thumbing through the book of frozen daddies.

Profile:
Donor ID: 3425 (GG: I like his name…he must be good at math)
DOB: 6/15/1990 (GG: Oh! He’s a Gemini! Two Personalities! Lochnesa and I will love him)
Blood Type: A+ (GG: Oh good! He’s a good student)
Occupation: Horse Trainer (GG: Maybe he can hook me up with hair for GG’s extensions?)
Hobbies: Spelunking (GG: Great! He can help me find my butthole.)

I can go on for hours…

Let’s move on to Reza’s birthday turned engagement party. Where do I start first? The Slip ‘n' Slide or Reza’s ode to the Iron Sheik? Reza looks like a cross between the Iron Sheik and the Burger King mascot:

1%20-%20Screen%20Shot%202014-02-13%20at%

As for the Slip 'n' Slide. Take note, Persians will only go on a Slip ‘n’ Slide if there is a pot of gold waiting at the end. We’re like the leprechauns of the middle-east…

2%20-REZASLIDINGFORGOLD.jpg

Oh and can we just comment on Lochnessa’s bone to pick with MJ? I laughed so hard when she said “a knot,” and MJ responded, “What’s a knot?” I’ve been that drunk where I can’t comprehend simple words. Like the time I couldn’t think of the word “kitten” and called it a “cat puppy.” Yeah, that happened, but that’s a whole other story…

On to Reza’s engagement. I was so shocked he asked Adam to marry him. Reza always talked about being such a playboy and I’m so happy that he’s found a man that he wants to be with and STAY with. Adam seems like the sweetest thing and the yin to Reza’s yang. You could tell how nervous Reza was. He had the most nervous laugh! It was really sweet. I smell a gay Bravo wedding next year!

While all of this was going on, Mike did not seem too happy. I’m not sure how he felt watching it, but hopefully he got the message that he needs to put a ring on it before Jessica converts out of the relationship. I don’t know what will make her leave faster? No ring, or the fact that Mike always gets barged in on while doing the nasty. Personally, I think Mike likes to be barged in on. It’s more opportunity for him to show off his doodool talah.

3%20-%20Screen%20Shot%202014-02-13%20at%

Meanwhile, as the gang was having a grand ol’ time at the party, Lilly was flying solo with Coconut, ordering in. I felt bad seeing Lilly by herself while everyone was having fun. It leaves me to wonder what will happen to Lilly next season? She doesn’t get along with MJ. Her and Reza aren’t on the best terms…but she’s on OK terms with the rest of the group. The reunion should be interesting to say the least.

Until next week…

Comments? Tweet me @nadinerajabi

Nadine Rajabi is a television producer, writer, and stand-up comedian from Los Angeles. Most importantly she's Bravo’s in-house Persian.