The Persian Version

Reza shares the emotions behind the Shabbat dinner and his reconciliation with his dad.

Apr 6, 2012 Were you surprised that he put a lot of it onto your grandmother?
Reza: Yes because in the past he's always given her a get out of jail free card. Always. He's always made excuses for her and let her off the hook. She's never, in his mind, been accountable. There was no reason for her to be accountable because it never had anything to do with her. I mean that was like the big white elephant in the room. All of a sudden everyone was looking at it, everyone acknowledged the fact that it was there and it was like, "Oh my god you see it too?" It was incredible. From there, was that all you needed to move forward and develop a relationship with him? Or is it something that you guys are still working on?
Reza: I mean honestly I just came back from New York, and I was at my cousin's house again for dinner last night and it was as if we had never gone a year without speaking. You could cut that year of our lives out like a cancer and throw it away and act like it never existed. That's how I feel with my dad now. That's great. Is your advice to people who are having that sort of an issue with their family to just push through it and really try?
Reza: Yes, but I also preface it with saying it took me a year of marinating on it and coming to a place. I was walking into that meeting prepared for anything and, regardless of what I got back, I was going to leave there and drop the monkey that was on my shoulders off at the doorstep that night. I was not going to go home with any of that stuff. I was just super lucky that he was completely open and receptive to everything that I had to say and then took it a step further by opening up himself. I hit the trifecta with that, like I walked in knowing that I was going to dump it there, I opened up to him, he opened up to me, and we had resolution. I scored. It took me a year to get to that point. It wasn't like I had this thought like things are bad, I need to address this. I'm not going to try and act like I'm this great person because I addressed all the issues I had. It took me a year to get to that place, to be able to go there and know that I would be OK with whatever outcome.