Love and Respect from Day One
Lilly reflects on the amazing season and explains why she decided to end things with Ali for good.
I can’t believe we have already reached the season finale! It was a crazy summer, and I have had so much fun sharing it with you all.
Episode 10 begins with where Episode 9 left off, the dangerously intense dinner party. There is so much yelling, arguing, fighting, and cussing going on, all I’m thinking about in my head is what my exit strategy will be. I’m not used to this much anger and aggression, so I’m so stressed out. When Asa decides to leave, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to politely excuse myself as well. I don’t know if the relationship between Asa-GG will ever be able to heal, but one thing is for sure, it definitely wasn’t going to happen at that dinner party.
The next scene is a very emotional one for me. Many of you know by now about the long and hard relationship I have had with Ali all over the last now 11 years. Like any long relationship, we have had our ups and our downs. I know he loves me more than the World, and because of that, I tell myself that I have found it in my heart to forgive him for all the times he hurt me, but the truth is, I don’t think I ever will. Or, even if I have forgiven him, the pain I felt was too hurtful to ever truly forget.
Trust is so important. To lose the trust of someone that loves you means you have forever lost them. I am by no means a perfect person, nor was I a perfect girlfriend, but I loved him with everything I had, and I gave him all of me. I deserve a man that treats me the same, not years after mistakes and regrets, but from day one. Everyone does.
The summer goes out with a bang, Persh-A-Pelooza! I am so proud of Asa, and I know this is only the start of so many incredible things to come for her.
I have experienced and learned so many new things this summer. I am thankful to have shared this time with my fellow Shahs. Each and every single of one of them has taught me something about myself, and life, to help me grow and become a better person.
Looking to the future, I hope to take what I have learned and become a better friend, a better daughter, and a better companion to someone that is willing to take on this damaged heart. I hope to let loose a little more, and learn to have more fun.
I just launched my second company, Lilly Lashes (LillyLashes.com), and I plan on continuing to work as hard as I can to follow my dreams.
I hope you all have enjoyed watching us this season. I have truly enjoyed sharing my life with you all.