I think you are a beautiful person on the outside and on the inside I think you probably have a hard time showing who you really are. Your successful yet you do carry yourself as better than these people on the show. Your surprised at their actions when it is very clear that they make you uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be that you are better than these people because you choose not to conduct yourself in the same manner as they do. But it does't make them wrong, it just makes them people who are not afraid to get loud or act up or sometimes make bad decisions. They also have loving hearts for one another which is another reason they connect so well. Asa is a perfect example of someone like you who does not drink and she fits in well with them without having to walk away from them. She accepts who they are and all there faults, however she doesn't always like them but accepting them also allows her to be herself and at times give constructive criticism and sometimes positive words as their friend. It is just part of who Asa is. No different with her reaching out to you when she did. You chose to lie to her in your phone call which showed you not respecting what she was trying to do with you and the direction of the possibility of a friendship. See that was just wrong of you yet you do nothing to clear your wrongs with her.
As for your relationship with your x, I do hope you can someday look at it and are able to take positive from a negative. He really should be looked upon as the greatest teacher of all as to what kind of man you do not want to be with. You had part in a failed relationship and so you own up to your part. You acknowledge it and you work on how you can make it better for you and your part in your next relationship. I wish you luck and healthiness in your life.