Mercedes "MJ" Javid

MJ explains her absence from blogging and discuss the learning experience that was this season.

on Feb 17, 20130

I want to thank you for your comments. I read EVERY SINGLE one on all cast blogs; your voices are being heard.

I hadn't written because I was unsure where to start -- or end. I am still so angry, but then I realized that I'd better move THROUGH this here with you, whom I consider my comrades.

Looking back on this "season," AKA the last six months of my life, I've learned a lot. I'm grateful for every bit of it and look forward to more that I have to learn. If I may say for the time being, to hell with every coward who stabbed me in the back, for reasons that I have not determined despite trying.

One of the lessons I'm still learning is that even when I think I'm stepping up to defend myself, I'm still holding my tongue, out of respect and to take the high road. As deep I have dug for a straight answer, manipulation and power plays are Reza's best maneuver. I feel naive to write this, but I never in a million years thought that Reza would have a reason to turn into such a malicious human being. And to the person he refers to as "a friend." I didn't know people were capable of such, and it has been a growing experience. Everything that I want to write I would rather confront face-to-face to the people who spoke and acted on me. I've been absent from here for a reason, and it's because I want to confront my accusers face to face.

373 comments
Nordica
Nordica

Love you MJ, never change you're a beautiful person inside and out, and I don't get your mom she's awful, out of all the cast members I relate so much to you, although my mom was not as bad as yours she could be critical at times and that really changes a person growing up with critical moms. Many blessings to you.

sugar1178
sugar1178

MJ you have a beautiful face but why are you wearing cloths that make you look fat?  That black top you wore this week both on the series and on Andy's show looks terrible.  You are not a skinny person, please dress appropriately, I hate seeing you look like that.  Have you ever considered a breast reduction?  I bet you would look beautiful.  People are just laughing at you in that black top!!

AlexaMurray
AlexaMurray

I can really relate to you coming from a dysfunctional family and trying to maintain a relationship with your mother.  Please don't let this interfere with your other relationships (dating etc.).  My parents used to fight constantly with each other.  I used to think if that was what marriage was like, then it was not for me.  From reading books, I discovered that I am from a shame-based family.  All of my life, I felt as if I had to look, act, and be perfect.  I recently learned that this is a phenomenon that happens to cover up shame.  I too, hoard clothing, purses, and shoes.  My parents both passed away within the last year and we joked that they may be getting along better with each other in heaven.  One of my favorite sayings is "Let's put the FUN back into dysfunctional". 

terry244
terry244

As i am watching all the reruns of last season i noticed that you are the most real and true person on this show! I feel soo bad for you that your mother is such a cold person, you are very loved by your fans! Hang in there and keep taking the high road!! Cant wait till this season. xoxoxo

kimscotchie
kimscotchie

MJ first let me say how much I admire you. I have been recovering 24 years and I know one thing, a friend never trashes you in public, ever. Let alone in front of the entire world. I have been married 23 years and have never gone through my husband's wallet! What the hell is with these people! And for someone so very concerned about your drinking, wasn't it Reza that was pouring all that liquor down your throat in Mexico? When you were trying to open up in the restaurant Lily and Asa took the "acquaintance" thing totally out of context. As far as I'm concerned Lily needs a can of Raid for that huge "I'm better than you" bug she's got stuck way up her ass and Asa is a troublemaker. At least GG makes no bones about who and what she really is. You have to admire her honesty. If I were you I'd make Reza lick my boots before I'd even consider being halfway close again. Remember MJ. If the dog bites you once it's the Doug's fault. If he bites you twice, it's your fault. He's a dirty low down dog for what he did to you and you are to precious and don't deserve public humiliation like that. And another thing. I've had a felony too and I don't care who you've had sex with. That's nobody's business. Hang in there you are loved. Kim

ACSJ
ACSJ

While Reza may have been a part of your life for a long time, his hatred of women is obvious and not healthy for you.

pyin
pyin

Oh, and I meant to say that even though you really want your mother's support - she CANNOT be trusted. Seems she has been verbally abusive to you your whole life. She should consider it a priveledge to spend time with you, because she hasn't earned it. If she cannot be a positive influence you don't need her in your life. I know that in your culture you respect the parents and grandparents whether they have earned it or not. But you may wanna re-write that issue in your culture. Your mother's words are poison and you don't deserve it!!

pyin
pyin

Well MJ, the first time i posted I was a little judgmental about you. Then I was glad when I saw you make - up with Reza in Mexico. Then it just seems it is more and more drama that is so confusing.

 

I cannot understand why Reza would turn on you and make up lies. So, my question is; was he lying about having sex with you? He seemed to be telling the truth. If he isn't then why would he tell it? I'm confused because I see you bouncing around trying to be loyal to everyone - but in that process you are also putting down some of the people that have always had your back in the past.

 

It's just ridiculous drama with some of the conflict that is filmed after an excess of alcohol on everyone's part. Sorry, but GG has some serious psychological issues and needs anger management at the very least.l But she is totally crazy MJ!! Standing by her is not a good idea. She digs her own grave, but she will pull you into it with her if you keep trying to have a friendship with her.

 

Not sure where Lilly comes in here because she is pretty passive. she doesn't come out wth mean or hateful statements for no reason at all. It just makes you look insecure and jealous when you blog about her. It seems hateful on your part.

 

It just seems like you are having conflict with EVERYONE at the same time. IT can't be everyone else if you are the common denominator in every situation. I like that you are confident in being a woman, curves and all, I respect that in you - but I am just confused as to your stance on everyone else. I don't know what to think of Reza, and I don't know what to think about you in relation to him. It seems he would not be so hateful unless he had a really good reason. I know the season is over for now - but would like to hear where you are at with everyone before the next season. I do hope there is a next season. I wanna support you - I just don't know if I should, or I can. I know I am just s viewer, but I love that this show is different from the others on BRAVO.

Beyssox
Beyssox

MJ,  As far as any kind of advisement re: drinking ... it's your private business.  The only thing I'd be wary of is if you are being seen as a liability on the show by Andy, et.al.  ... it might be wise to cooperated with the powers that be.

   As far as Reza is concerned, he is just concerned with his own status on the show and is covering his own ass by his belligerent verbal and emotional abuse of you.  But don't just be a victim here ... pick yourself up, dust yourself off (however and whatever that needs to be for you) ... you can champion this obscene F off by Reza.  People love you MJ, your kind spirit, your loyalty, your unpretentiousness.  Do what you need to to stay here for us please.!!!

sky8@
sky8@

MJ get the help you need. Reza is not your friend, you don't need him ever ever in your life.

Ygr_mk
Ygr_mk

I don't see how people could possibly be mad at MJ? Look at her life. Look at her childhood. Look at her selfish mother. Can you blame her for wanting to numb the pain with drinking ? As far as calling her an alcoholic goes, why is no one judging GG? At least MJ has a psychological explanation for drinking as much as she does. GG is daddy's spoiled little brat. And also, people keep saying she needs help and a therapist and blah blah blah, look at Reza. He is playing out his parents divorce with all of his friends. Bringing in new flavored of the week and dumping the old ones. What is that if not serious psychological problems and dare I say PTSD from his childhood ? Did you guys see what he did to MJ ? What type of sane, normal person could do that to their best friend of 20 years ? Come on now be fair

pyin
pyin

I don't know if you have posted after the reunion aired? I don't want to put you down, but I do have some questions. Like, are the drugs and alcohol a problem? Are you self-medicating from your pain (of both your relationship with Reza and also your mother)? Why is everyone else so convinced you have a drug problem? It did seem you were drinking too much at Rasha Shana. Did you see that too when you watched it back?? I am also wondering about Reza telling that he had sex with you? Is this true? It just seems that a lot of things do not add up. Although I want to believe you there is just so much suspect accusations. Maybe if you post again since the reunion you can answer these questions.

 

On a different note I REALLY feel for you in your relationship with your mother. I know you wanna be close to her. That is what every girl wants from her mother no matter how old we are. I grew up with a critical and verbally abusive mother. I see that your mother appears to do the same. This explains why you may have doubts about confidence in yourself. I don't mean that you are insecure, because you stand up for yourself when you have to. It's just that it is ok for you to be angry with your mother and verbalize what she has done to put you down. She comes across as critical and mean. Stating "You are not marriage material" is cruel!! What does she expect from you? I would like to see you set boundaries with your mother and tell her that  you will not accept or tolerate her critical comments, she always so quickly puts you down!!! I know respect for your parent in your culture is part of how you were raised. But your here now! You are your own person! Don't be afraid to tell her if she insists on putting you down that will be the end of the coversation - or you will hang up the phone. You do not deserve her degrading attitude toward you no matter what culture you are from. If you are in pain from all of this and you drink to kill the pain then that is something serious to look at.

 

I really do want to understand what went down at the reunion and why people are so convinced you have a problem? The only person I do not see partying right along with you is Lilly, so what about everyone else??

hchie
hchie

MJ - you are the only reason I watch the show. You are smart and funny and sexy and really terrific. You make everyone else look like idiots.

Sophie22
Sophie22

Mj so many people support you ,show some respect and write a blog

Pasadena47
Pasadena47

You MJ and GG, are the ones constantly being attacked by the other's.  You two should remain friends and ditch those pythons.  They will create any drama to gain attention and to take the focus off of their own bad doings.

 

Look at them...one is a soon to be over-the-hill gay guy who sniffs men's pits, Asa is oversized no talented self-proclaimed Priestess and is a has-been that never was, Lily under severe heat conditions is so plastic she will melt into a puddle on the floor, and Mike is obsessed with his teeth and is a mama's boy who sat back and allowed a Gay Man to tear into a Lady on National TV because he plans on making money with Reza. 

 

They are Python Snakes and are not worthy of you or GG. 

nightmoveskat
nightmoveskat

MJ...I wanted to say that from a viewer's stand point while watching the reunion show..I was embarrassed for you while Reza  was throwing you under the bus like he did..shame on him for being so vile !!!! You did not deserve to be treated like that and especially on National T.V..

Reza lost all respect from me and from all I know who watched him make a complete fool of himself along with Asa and Lilly...you though held it together with grace and dignity like the woman you are and did not buckle !!!! It seems that everyone was getting along pretty well until Lilly entered the picture and started to pit you all against each other...like a high school girl trying to be the most popular...Reza and Asa need to grow up and take another look around to figure out what kind of spell Lilly put them both under because they are acting like grown fools !!!! You have the fans and the love..Keep your head high  girl !!!!!!!!

Mommyjam
Mommyjam

Bravo, please have another show called Shah Shrink Redemption :-)  I want to see GG and MJ go through their issues and come out on top!  enough of Reza/Asa/Lilly bullying these two!!!  

 

DL7
DL7

MJ, what a complete lady you are!!  You did not loose it, you remained calm and I can still hear you state "Reza your words mean nothing to me."  I am appalled at Reza's actions towards you as well as the rest of the panel excluding Mike. I hope for your sake Reza will publicly apologize. You are a complete joy to watch,  I wish you nothing but the best in life. Much love & Many Blessings MJ <3

Leah008
Leah008

MJ I have never witnessed a human being act the way Reza did to you. Let alone a Persian for that matter. You are a strong women and dont ever have anything to do with him but if he apologize then keep him as an acquaintence. If I was ever looking for a house in LA i will only call YOU!..You are very sincere and will see the best interests of your clients than their pockets. You are the kind of person  anyone would want as their friend. GG is lucky to have you and you are not fake!..Out of all of this mess atleast you have many fans that now love you. Hope to see more of you in the next season now that you are a favorite. Keep on being you and stay beautiful!!

Blessings to you MJ.

MJFan
MJFan

stay strong and get rid of toxicity, ie Reza and Asa.  stay true to yourself and people that really matter in life.  hate to say this but maybe you should find yourself a new group of friends.  

well, maybe keep Mike and GG (lol) much love XOXO 

Lulijune
Lulijune

MJ, I was outraged of how Reza mistreated you on national television, what a douche! If his whole intent was to make you look bad, it backfired, he came out looking like the despicable person he really is. You don't need friends like that honey, move on with your life, you're beautiful and sweet and handled the situation with grace and class.

hannibal07
hannibal07

Hi MJ,.... We love you (your sisters from downunder!!!)...... drinking socially and having fun is not an issue......People who sniff armpits and cheat on their partners have the problem.  It is clear that you are totally loved and supported...& clearly can see the two faced nasty cowards you are dealing with.....Don't change who you are, you are just lovely, fun, beautiful and full of personality.

Yassi13
Yassi13

MJ, I was so touched in Season 01 when you went with Reza to see his father. I thought to myself that you are True friend. Watching Season 2 reunion I was appalled at Reza's attack on you. He has no self respect as a man or an Iranian. You should have torn him a new one as a strong woman.

Boogaboo
Boogaboo

My heart aches fo you MJ. You have so much to offer, please get some counseling to help you navigate how to deal with the friends and family in your life. I certainly know i couldn't do it alone and you have some very strong personalities in your life. Keep your chin up girl, we are rooting for you!

Rissa89
Rissa89

Mj by far you are what people watch the show for it is so hard to not love you. I think every friendship goes thru a rough patch I dont think Reza really ment the things he said. I think he was hurt that you had moved on with your life and not stoping to notice that he wasn't so much apart it. I also think Lilly and Asa had a big hand in the downfall they were always in his ear or just came out and said it. Hopefully you can sit down with Reza and talk things out if not at least you can say you lived and learned and moved on.

KatCall
KatCall

Reza will try to get back in your good graces ONLY for his 'television celebrity' status.  He needs you beside him to make him look good (in his mind)   Do not fall for his manipulations, his "your his blood" bullcrap.  Run from him MJ, as fast as you can.

Rock_Nrolla1
Rock_Nrolla1

If you forgive REZA I can not take you seriously, ever. I'm not too far behind your age, so I know what it is to have a friendship run its course. It's hard but you let it go because sometimes we out grow people. I have never embarrassed my friend's publicly. Well....honestly we all have our ups and downs regarding friendships but as bad as it may get ONE always holds back JUST enough. Holding back is in observance of the good times even if a friendship is on a downswing. I am already committed to missing season three all the while expressing my feelings about season two. It is because of the sad display during the reunion that I'm done. MJ you are not my favorite, but  to witness someone who has known you for over 20yrs  treat you that way....well girl –perspective does not escape me. I hope you stay away from this jerks if there is a third season. (Again, I will not be watching, but instead I'll rely on the blogs.) You have sympathy form a majority of Bravo/Shahs viewers. Do something positive with this "new found power." 

mp.212
mp.212

How you think that GG can do no wrong is beyond me. You think SHE is the victim?? Seriously?? She's a vicious, psychotic mean girl that just wants attention and want's everyone to think she a bad-a** for acting all "tough" (like a psycho). And I don't understand why you hate Lily so much except for jealousy. She was so nice to you in the beginning and you did nothing but act snotty and rude towards her. And who cares if Reza's made new friends in Lily and Asa?? I guarantee you there are friends you have that he wasn't too fond of.. reality check: NOBODY likes EVERYBODY's friends but, that doesn't mean you have to hate on people for NO REAL reason. I understand your Mother is VERY hard to deal with, but we ALL have some form of dysfunction in our families, so don't think you're the only one on that. No offense, but how old are you?? (Rhetorical question obviously) you act like a high school girl, you drink like a fish and act like an idiot.

Yasmine_Beauty
Yasmine_Beauty

  I could say so much but everyone already did Good Luck!

patsyandrox
patsyandrox

I can't stand how they never let you speak! As soon as you opened your mouth at the reunion not one but many people have to jump in and over talk you. What are they afraid of!

 

MzChelleowell
MzChelleowell

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others (REZA)... Although I hate to see you and Reza throw away a 20yr friendship, I do believe people change and grow apart, so maybe thats what has happened here.. Regardless, I hope you know what great a person you are, because you deserve BETTER friends. I don't know if the drug allegations are true, but the way those people you refer to as "FAMILY" treated you this season, I don't see how they could help... Actually that would drive an addict to relapse... SO NOT COOL.. Don't you DARE allow them to narrow and degrade your soul by making you hate them... Stay as sweet as you are and nomatter what life throws at you, you'll PERSEVERE...

 

 Keep ya head up, MJ! I SEE YOU!

Sophie22
Sophie22

@pyin No she didn't bother blogging

face2facecometics
face2facecometics

 @Sophie22 isn't it possible she is still nursing her wounds - every secret she ever shared with him was dumped out on TV - by her so called best friend.  give her time - we all heal at our own pace.  Maybe during this time we can respect her and give her the time she needs - not feed our need for gossip and drama

mp.212
mp.212

 @nightmoveskat Mj was the one threw the first "stone," not Lilly. Lilly tried to be nice and Mj did nothing but act rude and demeaning towards her. Then Lilly invited her out to dinner with Reza and Asa and Mj acted like a jerk again. Only after that did Lilly say screw this and formed an opinion. If somebody did that to you, then you would act the same way too. Don't lie. Lilly is the one who is smart and acts like a lady. Who stays composed while MJ makes a COMPLETE FOOL of herself? Lilly. Who has her own business and works like crazy? Lilly. Who is the one who took Mj's rudeness but still tried to be nice and be friends with her? Lilly. What did MJ ever do that was NICE to Lilly for Lilly to not have a negative opinion on her. You can say she was insecure about losing her friendship with Reza blah blah blah but if you're an adult you know you can have more than one friend. Geez. MJ is messed the balls up and needs major help. Just my personal opinion.

face2facecometics
face2facecometics

 @mp.212 Because she was her friend and friends try to overlook your negative qualities - they were all her friend until she pushed Asa and MJ tried to continue - you can't dislike her for being what a real friend is supposed to be.  Her mother seems to have caused her great pain and a great deal of insecurity.  Lily rubbed her the wrong way and she felt insecure about losing her friend, maybe she saw the handwriting on the wall.  She could have been more welcoming but no one is perfect.  Reza is a scumbag who aired out 20 year old mistakes for one purpose and one purpose only - to hurt.  MJ should never forgive him because he showed who he really is.   MJ girl ignore the haters - you are sweet and gentle and it showed.  Shame on Reza - karma will get him.

Sophie22
Sophie22

@face2facecometics Are you serious ? They all get paid to film their personal lives to air on our tv screens and you want me to respect her privacy? Get real,I was a huge MJ fan but you can't act precious and hide we all have problems ok most of us don't get a paycheck out of it,i am beginning to see rezas side now.

kimscotchie
kimscotchie

@mp.212 @nightmoveskat Both Lily and Asa were horrible to MJ in the restaurant when she revealed about young to therapy and took her word acquaintance completely out of context. She just meant that she didn't know them that well and they both made such a fuss about it. All MJ was trying to do was make amends for her behavior while under stress. If you've never lived with an abusive parent, don't comment on another's behavior or reaction to life's stresses.

Beyssox
Beyssox

 @mp.212  @nightmoveskat

 Lilly pulled a power play ... it's NOT her place to be inviting and initiating anything when it comes to a friendship of over 2 decades that she is being invited to join.  she should understand how hard it is for MJ to share Reza after 20 years ... and stay low under the radar until Reza and MJ could find their way to embrace Lilly and Asa.  Of course, Reza having the emotional IQ of a box of hair, just rallied with Lilly and ASa rather than tending to his friend MJ's hurt and fear of abandonment. (A strong issue of hers).

    Nobody ever has all the information, but if anybody should have been humble and respectful and patient in this situ it should have been Lilly.  Instead, she stoked the fire.  I wish Bravo would dump her at the curb.

nightmoveskat
nightmoveskat

 @mp.212  @nightmoveskat it just shows that we all see things from a different stand point....yes we can have more than one friend..but with women there is always jealousy and Queen Bee issues

mp.212
mp.212

 @Beyssox  Right... Well, what I will say is I have been in long term relationships where "new" people have come into the equation and I have not liked them at first necessarily, but they had made an effort with me and instead of acting like a high school girl (like MJ), I welcomed her back. If you have a solid, 20+ year friendship like those two (supposidly) did then there shouldn't be any insecurites. Are insecurities natural? Yes of course, but after 20 some odd years? Come on now. Yeah, my "concern" is that MJ is a full-grown woman, is over 40 yrs old (more power to her), and can't even act adult enough to be polite to someone who obviously was trying to be nice and get to know her?? You have to admit that that's a little weird. I don't care who you are, how old you are, how many long-term relationships (or marriages for that matter) you've been in, as an adult, you know what's right and wrong and clearly MJ was in the wrong. Lilly was in the obviously also in the wrong by things she said, however, that was AFTER MJ started being snotty first. You can't tell me honestly that if someone was rude to you, after you continuously tried to be nice to them, not just on one occasion, but many, that you wouldn't eventually by rude back. I sure do hope that was deep enough. If not, well then I guess I don't really get as attached to these things as some. My loss I suppose. 

Beyssox
Beyssox

 @mp.212  @Beyssox  @nightmoveskat

 If you've ever been in a long friendship or marriage, for that matter, you'd understand that all relationships go through good and bad times.  There are times when a relationship is fragile or broken ... and when outside forces/influences can damage the relationship permanently ... as we are witnessing in the Shahs Of Sunset.

... Your concern is with having good manners?  That seems petty and unenlightened to me.  Dig a little deeper, if you please.

mp.212
mp.212

  @Beyssox  I agree @nightmoveskat that we all see things differently. I also agree that women are definitely crazy jealous and have issues, but just because all women have them doesn't make it right, or ok. And yes, beyssox, Reza is definitely far from being the brightest bulb on the tree, but MJ talked smack about him too. Also, I'm sorry, but some of what you said makes no sense... if you're friends with someone for 20+ years, insecurity is the last thing you should feel when someone new comes along. You mean to say there weren't plenty of other people trying to be his friend along the way?? MJ admitted that being "Persian" was like being in a high school "click." The people who are in the group are "in," and those who aren't don't make it in easy, if at all. WTF is that? MJ's forty-something and she can't act like enough of an adult to even be polite to Lilly? It's very perplexing to me.

mp.212
mp.212

 @radicaLove  Agreed. Reza was, while in the wrong for going crazy, coming from a place of hurt. He didn't become that angry for no reason. MJ is to blame TOO. She wasn't all sweet and awesome to Asa to all the time either. Fact.