Mercedes "MJ" Javid

MJ explains her absence from blogging and discuss the learning experience that was this season.

on Feb 17, 2013

All along, I've been thinking that I should hold my tongue until I get to confront them in an arena where they would be brave enough to be accountable for their true colors, intentions, and actions. But they are ALL cowards. Yes, Reza and Lilly are both pathetic, lying, scum-sucking, contradictive, underhanded cowards. Part of me is fuming when I sit down to write because I re-visit the morally reprehensible, false, and repeated character assassinations of my friends and acquaintances. At least, I appreciate and find some vindication that a vast majority of you are seeing right through the scheming, lying, back stabbing that I've been feeling all last year.

I've always been one who wants to hear everyone's take on things and sometimes that makes me think I'm too open minded to speak my own mind. I think I got it from my father and wanted not to inherit the traits I didn't like about my mother.

However, I'm not willing to silence myself any more. Taking the time to commence the blog has been the toughest part of all. Every time I sit down to write, I am so angered and disgusted by the things that have happened. I'm not here to make a single excuse. But I am going to express the emotions that I'm feeling. Before I go into it, I want you all to know that it's a relief that you can see through the true colors of my "friends." Someone recently tweeted me a photo quotation that reads, "What doesn't kill me makes me more awesome."