Here’s my take of what happens when you take Ambien and mix it with alcohol and/or miss your sleeping window:
All day: drink
11 PM: Pop an Ambien to “sleep???”
12:30 AM: Do some Ambidialing. It’s like drunk dialing, but better because you won’t remember a damn thing. With drunk dialing, you have a vague recollection and a spiral of shame that goes with it. On Ambien, it’s like you roofied yourself, and nothing ever happened!
2 AM: EAT! It’s munchie time, and that frozen pizza in the freezer looks damn good. So you put it in the oven. While you wait for the pizza to bake, you munch on tortilla chips, and then open the fridge and see cheese. . .NACHOS!!! OMG. BEST. FEAST. EVER! While the Nachos cook in the microwave, you find a box of Cheez-its, and start snacking. You realize you haven’t had protein all day and start making a turkey sandwich, and discover that Cheez-its on a sandwich are just as good a chips, with equal crunch. So good. Then the microwave dings just before the oven timer goes off. Eat your face off.
3 AM: You’re sick from eating too much and feel like walking it off. You go outside for a brisk walk.
3:04 AM: It’s too cold! You decide you need dessert.
3:10 AM: You get in your car and drive to the nearest 7-11 to grab a pint of ice cream.
3:17 AM: Outside, you meet some random drunk dude that got separated from his friends at the bar. He asks you to borrow your cell to call his friends.
4 AM: The drunk guy is now in your house. You’re a little confused, but through the Ambien fog he seems cute enough.
4:13 AM: You go to your bedroom, and your boyfriend sees you brought a guy home. He’s pissed.
7 AM: You wake up, boyfriend is gone, but the guy you dragged home is sleeping next to you.
7:30 AM: You go to grab your keys to get the f--- out of your own house and try to avoid every mirror on the way out so you don’t have to face yourself. Just then, you realize you have NO idea where your car is.
And that’s why you should never drink and take Ambien. Just sayin’, MJ.
1. For a minute I thought I was watching a reunion of the cast of Love & Hip Hop...New York OR Atlanta! Or maybe the Basketball Wives...Miami OR Los Angeles! Way to shame yourselves publicly!!
2. Why hasn't Lilly called Caesar Milan yet?
3. Obviously Mike hasn't watched LOGO's reality show A-List NY when auditions with Playgirl. That had to be a pretty humiliating experience!
4. At least Mike has left a legacy that's to his advantage though. I mean, if you're going to embarrass your family and star in a reality show, you may as well get something out of it!
5. When MJ says she only drinks socially, she must mean putting a desk together in her home counts because it was on TV! To me, drinking socially might mean nusing a drink all night, but popping a bottle at home alone means I want to catch a buzz! Didn't she break a wine glass also?
6. Lilly, the expert in forensic body language was looking down when she told us she was a small D! Lilly, no looking down!
7. GG, I'm so glad to know inviting your ex-boyfriend to your party got you engaged to Omid! You called it!!
8. I really don't have anything for Reza ot Asa, those two are a buzz kill for me. Maybe after Part ll!
Great blog, Nadine! Thanks!
that was fuunnyy!...the only thingk you got wrong is that MJ took ambien when she got on a plane...not at night...she took it before she started drinking....and by the way 10s of millions of people take all kind of medications...nobody calls them pill-poppers. 4 or 5 pills in MJ bottle does not qualify for pill-popper assults. Many people need it..GG for sure needs it. Can you imagine her assaults without the sedative medications?
The Shahs of Sunset are not proficient in Farsi. The real name of "golden penis" is SOMBOL TALA.
I agree with Bluesies I LOL'd at your "day on Ambien." Very funny. Don't listen to the haters! These people put themselves on TV knowing what they were getting themselves into. They deserve a fun roast. I watch the show, love the show, but also know it's entertainment. People on this blog are taking themselves way too seriously. Thank you for the laughs! Keep up the good work.
Thank you, Nadine. Another really funny recap! And I love the fact that a show as frivolous and shallow as Shah’s has elicited such impassioned responses from commentators this week! Way to turn up the dial! I follow your blog every week and this is my first time commenting as well. So, kudos to you for sparking some debate. Agreeable or argumentative as the responses may be - at least you struck a chord with people!
I personally think you’re hysterical and that your fresh takes on the show are consistently informative, clever and completely in the spirit of what Bravo posts these pieces to be: Commentary, POV/ observation and above all ENTERTAINMENT. After all, this is not hard-hitting journalism here, it’s brain candy. Being “balanced” only counts in world news and diets.
Your Reunion Recap was absolutely no exception. In fact, I found this week’s blog to be even funnier and more amusing than the actual reunion episode itself (which just made me embarrassed for the whole panel’s behavior). There’s always truth in jest, but your fun-loving roast of the cast provided some much needed levity to what would otherwise be a sad display of narcissism, betrayal, opportunism and addiction. Truth be told, they’re ALL whack … and THAT’S why we tune in each week. But to take this all SO seriously is like reprimanding a caricature artist for being “mean.”
To those who crawled out from behind their handles to blog bash this week, lighten up! I encourage you to direct your morality and journalistic activism for more “balance” and less “ass kissing” to more noble causes and coverage that really should be taken seriously – human trafficking, the national debt crisis, epidemic homelessness, etc. – rather than pleaing a case for poor little rich kids who probably have their own cohorts defend them on Bravo’s blog. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Even Nadine.
I'm sorry, but your reviews are WHACK. You should call out Asa, Reza, and Lilly too, but kiss their asses instead. There is soooo much material for u to use. I won't be reading anything else from you, hope Bravo ends this.
For me, the strangest part of the reunion was Lilly bringing official documentation of an unofficial nature....pieces of paper.....for all we knew, they were coconuts doo doo scribbles.....i wanted to be impressed, i thought i should be impressed, but i sat dumbfounded at what to do next...then I remembered ahhhhh...thats right...didn't she say she went to law school? The old "proof of purchase" paperwork....generated from her own computer....ok...the excel printout of what her business brought in January...the slowest month of the year, when February is one of the busiest for cruise lines....i didn't find Lilly suspicious until just that minute.......Ok...now GG...Golnesa....Gollllnessssa...i can't help but think how different our lives would be if Marlon Brando looked up those stairs and painfully said "Golllllneeeesssssa" .... who knows where we would all be with that little change...no one wants to call her GG anymore...we get it, that was her made up name for the show, but now no one calls her that anymore....one minute she is GG and the next Golnesa....stick with one name please....I DO take ambien at night, so answering my phone at 11:30 to explain to my 80 yr old aunt who Golnesa is made me vaguely remember thinking i had a dream where i was running wildly through hotel corriders with a crazed woman wearing hair extensions from head to toe screaming that "christy will fry me" ....me, running, with nary a knife......Mike....ok....playgirl will use him for about 10 min. and be done, he may get a reality show culminating with his circumcision....but his biggest concern should be his American gf, and how he is going to allow his mother and his gf/wife take care of "golden dootool", its really mentally disturbing to even wonder about, so i will stop that...Reza....wow...what a change, was this the same guy last season whose grandmother would not look at him?? Is there something about the way the wind blows on any given day that will dictate a grandparents love?? Who knew that the way to get to that tuff hide was to compliment her skin and hair....it's NATURAL....she says....several times....just proves you can tell a woman she has lovvely skin and nary a gray strand of hair, and she will die for you....that is our sisterhood...we ae all alike in that way.....I saved the best for last.....Asa....nothing to say about you but you showed up and out....i sat all season chuckling about your eccentric behavior, swearing not to buy into diamond water...knowing i am a sucker for that stuff...that whole mystical oooo stuff...but Asa displayed an inredible amount of self restraint, that I am sure i would not have done....I would have been wearing Golnesa's hair ext by the end of the show.......MJ....dear MJ joon....am i allowed to say that?? May you put your candle in the wind and never fear darkness.....and the sun sets.....
GG needs to not show up for next season! She's dangerous! She doesn't even know the impact she's having on people around her or what she says from minute to minute. Andy is exhibiting the anxiety some of us are feeling with this girl. Asa learned NOTHING from watching this season. She still doesn't know when to SHUT UP and stop the nonsense. Throwing fuel on the fire doesn't help. God knows what Asa is trying to defend when GG has driven into the ditch! MJ is a textbook user. Denying her problems just prolong them. Congrats to MJ for embarassing herself in front of millions. She may be related to Snooki!
Andy! Please relieve us and get to trimming!
My problem with MJ's situation is that they are still party with her. They don't have to put their lives on hold but they should be a bit more sympathetic to the situation if she does have a problem.
I love Mike. I love how he comes to someone's defense and stands up for what he believes in rather than gang up on one person.
@Berzofsky I call BS on GG, as someone having an unusual nose I did not find Asa's comment the least bit nasty. GG is furious with ASA (or at least her comment) because it spoke to 'her' insecurities she feels about her own nose job. GG may not even realize why she is so mad. If you think about it, she feels it is a backhanded comment from Asa to her- why? because she is super insecure and in GG's world it's all about her. Exactly.
LexiLex24 Berzofskyyes it was nasy...If Amod did feel insecure about his nose...Asa brought it to light...People are subjective to their looks. AMods may be assuming that his nose is not that big of a deal...ans Asa brought it up to actualy insist that his nose is too big and desrves her complemnts for being big.Asa is uncultured and does not now manners.
Thank you for blog Nadine - Asa is quick to mention her 2 degrees but who supported her education? My guess would be her mother so it makes sense her mother wants her daughter to use the education she paid for.....or did Asa sing her way thru school? LoL
GG was trying to make a point! She brought up Andy's eyes because he IS self conscious & doesn't want anyone bringing attention to them. That is EXACTLY what GG was trying to point out about the comments Asa made about Omid's nose. Did Asa know that Omid was not self conscious about his nose before she made those comments? No, she didn't & she didn't care if she made him self conscious or embarrassed him. That is MEAN behavior & Asa is a MEAN person! Admit it already!
People are waaaaaaayyyyyy too easy on GG - she has a personality no question. Her brain does not interpret event or her own actions accurately. She is a vicious, twisted Bad Seed. Her parents should wash their hands of her. By financing her, they continue to enable her.
If Andy Cohen does not expose the phony, superior (in her mind), jealous Asa, I will lose all respect for him and this show. Asa takes no responsibility for her behavior. She is so jealous of GG - for her youth and her free spirit. While GG may have her faults, they do not include being manipulative and evil as I believe Asa is. Let's be fair, Mr. Cohen, and give some of the heat you give to GG, to Asa. She needs to have her feet put to the fire!!!
mahadeva What show are you watching? Andy seemed like he was calling GG out because he knew she was full of it. Of course he isn't going to go in to hard on her because he knows she gets violent. And it was soooo ridiculously hypocritical that she said Asa shouldn't have brought up Omids nose but then talked about Andy's eyes!!! He looked pretty uncomfortable to me. She is living on another planet.
JadeLady mahadeva She didn't "talk about" Andy's eyes. She was making a point about someone who doesn't know you making comments on your physical features-- especially physical features for which you feel self-conscious. It's safe to not comment at all until you get to know people and their comfort levels about discussing certain personal topics.
That's the point she made and it was a great one. Besides, let's be real. Asa was not giving Omid a compliment. Omid was with GG, and Asa would never sincerely compliment GG's affiliate (or boyfriend or whatever). She was trying to be funny with an indirect jab at GG to get a reaction...and she got one. So why is she complaining?
so true, Asa is so jealous of GG. and by the way how come Reza is not blogging? Andy get rid of
Asa and Reza
Right on! Did you notice how Asa called GG "a piece of sh*#" and Andy had no question about that at all but acted hypersensitive when GG called Asa "that thing"?
Andy habitually chooses a side on these shows and reflects it in his interviewing during the reunion shows. It's got to stop. If he's going to call out one, he should call them all out on their crap because there is certainly enough to go around.
sabrinadey Very tasteless. I agree. Picked apart her weight assuming a pill caused it. Nadine, you may have missed an article where MJ said her dr gave her diet pills at age 14. Naming all of those foods and the process of binging reflects on your knowledge of it. I never even thought of that process you seem to articulate so well.
Are we supposed to assume you are bulemic? Think about that.
radicaLove sabrinadey I don't think she was making fun of MJ's weight. I took the joke as a typical day when someone drinks on Ambien. I don't find her blogs malicious. I think she was just having fun depicting her favorite moments. Who knows though?
Reza should not have put MJ on blast the way he did. That was tasteless.