Cast Blog: #SHAHS

Recap: Lost But Not Least

Recap: The Shahs Peace Summit

Recap: Recipe for Disaster

Asa's Profound and Cathartic Trip

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

The Return of Lochnesa

Mike: I Will Marry Jessica Soon

Reza Dishes on His Engagement

Recap: Make a Run for the Border

Mike Shouldn't be "Scared" of Other Religions

Recap: Turkey with a Side of Apology

Mike's Inner Struggle

Lilly's Disrespectful Behavior

Mike Takes GG's Side

Recap: Outed by Chihuahuas

Reza: "Lilly Doesn't Understand Friendship"

Lilly's Battle with Foot Boogers

Recap: Always a Lady

Recap: A Little Too Much Diamond Water...

The Shah of Bull Sh--

Reza: "I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut"

Ep 8: Persian Empire Divided

Will Mike Put a Ring on It?

Reza Learns the Power of Apology

Recap: Shah-etiquette

MJ Owes GG a Genuine Apology

What MJ Did was Wrong

Loch-Nesa vs. MJ

Asa's Juice Disaster

Recap: Persian Pride?

MJ's Moral Compass is Way Off

An Offer Lilly Can't Refuse?

Recap: Homo-Not-So-Genius

Mike's Disappointment with Reza

Asa: "I Definitely See Why Reza is Irritated"

Reza on the Fight: "I'm Not Proud of It"

Lilly Needs to "Get More Real"

Reza to Lilly: "Get Off Your High Horse"

Cry Me a River

Mike: Master Negotiator

Lilly: Ain't Nobody Got Time for This

Recap: Lost But Not Least

Nadine appreciates the deeper peek into the Shahs personality, but wishes she knew less about Mike and Reza's sex lives.

The season is finally over! It's been quite a ride, and I had NOOOO idea that the Shahs could take us in the fast lane the way they did this past season. They proved that their lifestyle is louder, crazier, and more dramatic than anything you or I could ever imagine. I have to say, after last week's reunion I was left sad and upset with a few of the people in the cast. But after watching tonight's Lost Footage episode, I remembered why I love these guys. I really hope they can all work it out next season.

OK, without further adieu, let’s get on with the last of the lost.

I did not find it a coincidence that Reza and MJ didn't interview together. That leads me to believe that the two have not kissed and made up yet. When we have time off between now and next season, I feel like I need an MJ and Reza cam, similar to the puppy cam just so I can keep an eye on them to watch them fight (or play). Some might call it stalking. I call it concern.

Moving on to Mike and Reza. Can I just say I learned waaaayyyy too much about their sex lives. TMI, dudes! I mean, I loved how they kept going back to their carwash convo like they were the peanut gallery. But Jesus, Mohammad, and David! We get it, Mike! You like fake boobs. But being that he likes them so much, it’s curious that he wasn't more obsessed with Lilly’s floatation devices this season. Funny that he's never commented. Maybe if she hadn't been such a pill in Cabo, he could have given her fun bags a quick squeeze.

Oh and -- as far as grooming -- goes it's not shocking that Reza likes a good ol' fashion disco bush to go along with his armpits. Meanwhile, Mike likes no bush. Which pretty much rules almost every Persian girl out of his dating pool (condolences to Mike's mom and dad). Unless, they bought that Laser Groupon that was going around a few months ago. Personally, I think Mike's machismo talk is phony. I didn't see any of his preferences on Jessica. She seems like a natural beauty! At least, from what I could tell on screen, fully clothed.

As for Reza, I imagine him to like his bush so big that it's triple canopied like the Brazilian rain forest. . .with monkeys swinging from trees, parrots flying around, and Shakira there trying to save it. To each their own!

Besides seeing Mike and Reza talk sex, we also got a glimpse of Lilly's black card from the infamous Ali while she shopped. I love that home girl has no shame in using it. As we learned in Part 1 of the reunion episode, Lilly gave her Virginity Card to Ali, so it stands to reason that she feels entitled to his line of credit. Not a bad rule to live by. Here's a question, if she's not dating him, then how much longer can she keep using that black piece of plastic? I mean, she got a few fancy cars out of it. What more does she want? Wanna know what parting gift I got to the man I gave up my V-card to? My Dido CD back. Let's not even go there. . .

Let's get to the drama portion. Besides MJ claiming that she's autistic in interview (side note: she really should not be throwing the term around like a joke. . .just sayin'), she did a lot of things on camera that were SO not acceptable.

How about we start with her being drunk at Reza's family's house in Great Neck? You all know I love MJ and feel for her, but she should have shown more respect for Reza's family. I'd be lying if I said she wasn't funny though. When she called Reza's dad "hot," I almost fell out of my chair laughing. MJ, you know Reza's dad is a former playboy. Why tease him? You're going to give the poor man a heart attack! You're at a religious celebration! Keep it together, ya Persian Snooki!

I can understand why Reza, Mike, and company were upset with MJ that night. They must have felt like babysitters. I did think Mike treated MJ like a child, but the truth is, she was acting like one. She doesn't know when enough is enough. The B.S. line of the night was when Reza said he brought Mike and Asa to his parents house because he didn't want to be micromanaging her inebriation. Come on, Reza. . .really? That's why you brought them? For MJ control? If that's what you were so concerned about, why not just chip her like a dog and serve her virgin drinks?

While on the topic of MJ and Reza, let's talk about sex-gate. I bet MJ is lying, and she DID have sex with Reza. But why lie about it??? Why not just own a hilarious high school story? I'm sure she's done a lot worse than have sex with her gay best friend. For God's sake, I’m sure Pablo and Julio have done worse!

Speaking of Pablo. . .you gotta love a dog that has bad gas after eating too much prosciutto. Watching that scene I kept wondering if it was Sammy letting them rip and blaming the dog? I wouldn't put it past him.

And last but not least, let's talk about Lilly and Asa's cellulite treatment. Um. . .what cellulite does Lilly have? I'm glad she's setting such a good example for young girls. She goes in for that treatment like it's an everyday type-thing; the way some people would get their nails done or their eyebrows threaded. Although I'm pretty certain that getting threaded hurts more. As for Asa getting the treatment, the poor thing looked like she was getting tazed, not lasered. Asa, people from the old country flee this type of treatment and call it torture, while Lilly invites it. Next time. . .RUN!

All in all, this episode ended the season on a high note. It was just the type of comic relief we needed after such a dramatic season. There were so many scenes that provided a peek into the other sides of the Shahs' personalities: Asa's mom loving Snoop and Eminem, Mike being a flirt, MJ's dating criteria and GG's thoughts on selfish men in the bedroom to name just a few. There was just too much to cover, but coming off of last week it was a reminder that there is a lot of love between them all and left me hopeful for what’s to come.

I'd like to take the time to thank you ALL for reading my blog this past season. I also want to thank you for all your comments. I read them all!

Truth is we were on this ride together, and it was a fun one. I’ll miss you guys, and until next season, Khodahafez (Good-bye)!

Comments? Tweet me @nadinerajabi

Nadine Rajabi is a television producer, writer, and comedian from Los Angeles. Most importantly she's Persian, and has been her whole life.

Recap: Recipe for Disaster

Ep 15: Nadine weighs in on Part 1 of the reunion.

Here’s the thing… The Shahs reunion reminded me of a Thanksgiving dinner gone wrong. Except there was no turkey (or Turkey for that matter), not a lot of wine, and certainly not a lot of peace.

You’d think since the reunion was a little more intimate, being over a dinner table where they all broke bread, it would be somewhat peaceful…well guess again. I think sitting in such close quarters was a recipe for disaster, with a few exceptions. One being the infamous buttery chocolate cwaasannnt. Hallelujah! It’s over, finally!

There was so much covered, that I’m going to only address a few highlights…

So let’s get started, shall we?

Let’s start with Lilly “No Friend Zone” Ghalichi. I kind of felt bad for her. I truly don’t know what is going to happen with her next season. As is, she’s not hanging out with the Shahs. I just don’t know how will she come back after this. I was shocked that Asa laid into Lilly more than Reza did. It was only a few episodes ago where Lilly told Reza that Asa was the better friend to her. And as I recall, Asa gave Lilly a cooking lesson teaching her to beat her meat. I get that some of the Shahs have beef with her, but the truth is that Lilly doesn’t mesh well with this group (except for GG as of late). Andy did leave it open-ended, asking Reza if Lilly makes a real effort if he’d take her back, and Reza said absolutely. If that were to happen, I suggest MJ learns GG’s hook method. She’ll need to hook with her fingers and her toes.

Now on to GG and MJ. When will these two frenemies NOT fight? It seems to be their “thing.” They’re like drunk sorority girls: “I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I need more to drink. You broke girl code. I want to wax my car with your t-ts. You assaulted my hat, so I’m going to call your mom. But I do love you.” All I have to say to that is, “You don’t need to go all tango on me!”

Speaking of getting all “tango,” how about GG storming off when Leila showed up -- only to be put in her place by the Shah bouncer? I hope she realizes that one drink isn’t going to make her problems or her sister go away. Thankfully the GG whisperer was able to put her in her place. The reality of GG and Leila’s situation is they have a classic case of Competitive Sister Syndrome. I think they’re both guilty: GG shouldn’t be so harsh with her words. And Leila should have been more mindful about her friendship with MJ. Just goes to show that sh-- runs deep when dealing with family matters. Let’s keep it classy, ladies! All I know is my ass would be grounded for life if I’d ever treated my brother the way these two girls treat each other.

 

Last, let’s talk about Reza and his ex-work husband, Mike. Andy called these two out -- they kissed and made up in the finale, but it looks like things have gone south since that peaceful workout scene. Reza is right and I’ve said it before, no one leaves a thriving career to start over. However, I don’t know the logistics of their deal, so I can’t comment on who’s right and who’s wrong. What I can comment on is IF Mike needs money for a ring, he probably shouldn’t have invested in a bus wrap. And Reza SHOULD have maybe showed Mike the ropes a little more. Selling homes is not an easy job, you have to put in a lot of legwork -- it’s not a get rich quick type business. Mike said he loves Reza like a brother, but “he’s such an ---hole.” These two guys are becoming MJ and GG 2.0. They should all just get a room! One for their bodies and one for their egos.

I can’t wait for next week when Vida joon pays us a visit. I hope they give her the memo that there are no crocodiles in the San Fernando Valley.

And if you missed the final Shahs After Show, be sure to check it out now.

Comments? Tweet me @nadinerajabi