Cast Blog: #SHAHS

Reza and Lilly Are Both Pathetic

Recap: The Shahs Peace Summit

Recap: Recipe for Disaster

Asa's Profound and Cathartic Trip

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

The Return of Lochnesa

Mike: I Will Marry Jessica Soon

Reza Dishes on His Engagement

Recap: Make a Run for the Border

Mike Shouldn't be "Scared" of Other Religions

Recap: Turkey with a Side of Apology

Mike's Inner Struggle

Lilly's Disrespectful Behavior

Mike Takes GG's Side

Recap: Outed by Chihuahuas

Reza: "Lilly Doesn't Understand Friendship"

Lilly's Battle with Foot Boogers

Recap: Always a Lady

Recap: A Little Too Much Diamond Water...

The Shah of Bull Sh--

Reza: "I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut"

Ep 8: Persian Empire Divided

Will Mike Put a Ring on It?

Reza Learns the Power of Apology

Recap: Shah-etiquette

MJ Owes GG a Genuine Apology

What MJ Did was Wrong

Loch-Nesa vs. MJ

Asa's Juice Disaster

Recap: Persian Pride?

MJ's Moral Compass is Way Off

An Offer Lilly Can't Refuse?

Recap: Homo-Not-So-Genius

Mike's Disappointment with Reza

Asa: "I Definitely See Why Reza is Irritated"

Reza on the Fight: "I'm Not Proud of It"

Lilly Needs to "Get More Real"

Reza to Lilly: "Get Off Your High Horse"

Cry Me a River

Mike: Master Negotiator

Lilly: Ain't Nobody Got Time for This

Reza and Lilly Are Both Pathetic

MJ explains her absence from blogging and discuss the learning experience that was this season.

I want to thank you for your comments. I read EVERY SINGLE one on all cast blogs; your voices are being heard.

I hadn't written because I was unsure where to start -- or end. I am still so angry, but then I realized that I'd better move THROUGH this here with you, whom I consider my comrades.

Looking back on this "season," AKA the last six months of my life, I've learned a lot. I'm grateful for every bit of it and look forward to more that I have to learn. If I may say for the time being, to hell with every coward who stabbed me in the back, for reasons that I have not determined despite trying.

One of the lessons I'm still learning is that even when I think I'm stepping up to defend myself, I'm still holding my tongue, out of respect and to take the high road. As deep I have dug for a straight answer, manipulation and power plays are Reza's best maneuver. I feel naive to write this, but I never in a million years thought that Reza would have a reason to turn into such a malicious human being. And to the person he refers to as "a friend." I didn't know people were capable of such, and it has been a growing experience. Everything that I want to write I would rather confront face-to-face to the people who spoke and acted on me. I've been absent from here for a reason, and it's because I want to confront my accusers face to face.

All along, I've been thinking that I should hold my tongue until I get to confront them in an arena where they would be brave enough to be accountable for their true colors, intentions, and actions. But they are ALL cowards. Yes, Reza and Lilly are both pathetic, lying, scum-sucking, contradictive, underhanded cowards. Part of me is fuming when I sit down to write because I re-visit the morally reprehensible, false, and repeated character assassinations of my friends and acquaintances. At least, I appreciate and find some vindication that a vast majority of you are seeing right through the scheming, lying, back stabbing that I've been feeling all last year.

I've always been one who wants to hear everyone's take on things and sometimes that makes me think I'm too open minded to speak my own mind. I think I got it from my father and wanted not to inherit the traits I didn't like about my mother.

However, I'm not willing to silence myself any more. Taking the time to commence the blog has been the toughest part of all. Every time I sit down to write, I am so angered and disgusted by the things that have happened. I'm not here to make a single excuse. But I am going to express the emotions that I'm feeling. Before I go into it, I want you all to know that it's a relief that you can see through the true colors of my "friends." Someone recently tweeted me a photo quotation that reads, "What doesn't kill me makes me more awesome."

My take on GG finally meeting up with Reza:

Reza was so self righteous and dismissive. He didn't show up with an open-mind, while GG's demeanor was humble, pliant, and vulnerable. I saw right through his insincere preach about how he's no better than everyone else. Too bad he was just using that to manipulate GG into convincing her that "every time you have a feeling it doesn't need to have a grand discussion." Sit down and shut up, you're not Dr. Phil. Reza, like the rest of us, is neither trained or equipped to understand, relate to, or advise Golnesa on what she was going through. None of the rest of us understand what makes a person become physical. He is totally out-of-line to conduct himself from such a position.

My lunch with my mom is hard to watch. But after I watch it again, I realized the experience helped me learn so much about myself and it's helping me as an adult to understand what experiences shaped my thinking from early childhood. I don't want to repeat an old negative pattern, and I don't want to lose the opportunity to improve my relationship with my mother.

Am I creating new boundaries with her? Yes.

Am I creating an emotional barrier between her stuff, which is toxic for me? Yes.

I'm working on that and she, too, can learn about herself through what she gains from therapy. But I never saw her connect so quickly to what Dr. Michelle pointed out to her about "Vida's pain, being her pain." My mom was never given that opportunity in a mental health setting like we have with Dr. Michelle.

Also, I strongly believe that my individual therapy is very different and separate from that which my mother and I seek.

My take on the OMID vs Mike fight:

Everytime I see Mike or Omid walk through a door, my heart smiles; they were both raised as outstanding gentlemen, with solid values and they both truly exude that energy each time I see them. Except tonight.

Mike f---ed up. I had to watch this over and over again to be able to see it from both perspectives and I know I don't have to chose a side, but if I did, it would be hands down, Omid's side. Sorry, Mike. I was there for the whole thing, the WHOLE thing, and yes I expect more from you.

Mike's temper got the best of him, and in turn, he ended up mishandling his personal business with both Golnesa and Omid. The thing is that in our group we need Mike to step up for GG, but instead he dogs her in how he talks down to her. When Mike thinks he's being all love to Golnesa, he's repeatedly misfiring. The reason why I'm going H.A.M. on Mike is because REALLY I need him to step up. Maybe he'll read this and we'll get somewhere. The way he CHOOSES to communicate with GG is usually counter-productive and since he is the patriarch of our group, I expect Mike to hold us together in situations like this.

Anyway, back to the fight between Omid and Mike. . .both of these men were lied to and influenced by a something that's all too contagious in our group. It is being a target for inaccurate, grapevine gossip that creates unnecessary World Wars. What I remember most from this night was how patiently and calmly Omid remained seated in his chair while Mike was like a baby snake prematurely spewing venom to an innocent victim. Omid even told Mike repeatedly how much he looked up to Mike before this ambush. The damage still runs deep between Omid and Mike, but they better fix it.

OK, I gotta sign off for now, but will be back super soon!!!

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

Ep 14: Reza shocks everyone with his proposal to Adam.

After the Turkey episodes ended, I was thinking to myself, how the hell are they going to top that? Well…an engagement, I guess.

Besides Reza proposing to Adam on his 40th birthday, there was a lot more going on like: Mike and Reza untying the work knot, MJ having a high school reunion at the fertility clinic, and a bunch of Persians sliding on a piece of plastic. Oh and let’s not forget the rise of Lochnesa.

Let’s first start with Mike and Reza untying the knot. These two guys have gone back and fourth all season. Mike claims Reza hasn’t done anything for him, and Reza claims Mike is lazy. So which is it? I’m sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I will say this (and Reza has said this before): no one leaves a thriving business to start a new venture. Last season Mike made it quite clear that the commercial real estate business wasn’t where it was and that he needed to move on to something else. Truth is, Mike had to put in more legwork. Success doesn’t come overnight. However, I’m sure there is some truth to Reza not giving Mike the full attention he needed. But the good news is the two guys have gotten back to what’s really important in life -- friendship. God, I felt like I was watching an awkward break-up with the cliché conclusion of “we’re better off as friends.”

While we’re on the topic of Mike let’s talk about how he told Jessica that they’d get married by the time they’re 40. 40? Really Mike? 40? UM…Can I just say kudos to Jessica for putting Mike in his place and telling him that it doesn’t take five years to buy a ring. She’s right, she’s a good girl, has a good head on her shoulders, comes from a good family, and let’s not forget that she’s CONVERTING religions for Mike. Now, I know Mike wants to “blind the haters,” but he needs to get over himself and just put a ring on it, or he’ll lose Jessica. If you love someone, you can get them a lifesaver ring and it won’t matter. He can “blind the haters” when he makes more money down the line, but he needs to lock Jessica down or someone else will come and scoop her up. Let’s move on to MJ’s eggs. After MJ’s realization at the spa with Vida, she accompanied GG at the fertility doctor. I’m sure MJ didn’t love the surprise high school reunion with the doctor. I’d be mortified, but my embarrassment threshold is slightly lower than our beloved Shahs. I smell babies in Season 4 or 5 of the Shahs. GG said she doesn’t care about a man; she just wants to have babies. With that said, how amazing would it be to see GG and MJ at the sperm bank next season? I can just see GG thumbing through the book of frozen daddies.

Profile:
Donor ID: 3425 (GG: I like his name…he must be good at math)
DOB: 6/15/1990 (GG: Oh! He’s a Gemini! Two Personalities! Lochnesa and I will love him)
Blood Type: A+ (GG: Oh good! He’s a good student)
Occupation: Horse Trainer (GG: Maybe he can hook me up with hair for GG’s extensions?)
Hobbies: Spelunking (GG: Great! He can help me find my butthole.)

I can go on for hours…

Let’s move on to Reza’s birthday turned engagement party. Where do I start first? The Slip ‘n' Slide or Reza’s ode to the Iron Sheik? Reza looks like a cross between the Iron Sheik and the Burger King mascot:

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As for the Slip 'n' Slide. Take note, Persians will only go on a Slip ‘n’ Slide if there is a pot of gold waiting at the end. We’re like the leprechauns of the middle-east…

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Oh and can we just comment on Lochnessa’s bone to pick with MJ? I laughed so hard when she said “a knot,” and MJ responded, “What’s a knot?” I’ve been that drunk where I can’t comprehend simple words. Like the time I couldn’t think of the word “kitten” and called it a “cat puppy.” Yeah, that happened, but that’s a whole other story…

On to Reza’s engagement. I was so shocked he asked Adam to marry him. Reza always talked about being such a playboy and I’m so happy that he’s found a man that he wants to be with and STAY with. Adam seems like the sweetest thing and the yin to Reza’s yang. You could tell how nervous Reza was. He had the most nervous laugh! It was really sweet. I smell a gay Bravo wedding next year!

While all of this was going on, Mike did not seem too happy. I’m not sure how he felt watching it, but hopefully he got the message that he needs to put a ring on it before Jessica converts out of the relationship. I don’t know what will make her leave faster? No ring, or the fact that Mike always gets barged in on while doing the nasty. Personally, I think Mike likes to be barged in on. It’s more opportunity for him to show off his doodool talah.

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Meanwhile, as the gang was having a grand ol’ time at the party, Lilly was flying solo with Coconut, ordering in. I felt bad seeing Lilly by herself while everyone was having fun. It leaves me to wonder what will happen to Lilly next season? She doesn’t get along with MJ. Her and Reza aren’t on the best terms…but she’s on OK terms with the rest of the group. The reunion should be interesting to say the least.

Until next week…

Comments? Tweet me @nadinerajabi

Nadine Rajabi is a television producer, writer, and stand-up comedian from Los Angeles. Most importantly she's Bravo’s in-house Persian.