Cast Blog: #SHAHS

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall...

Reza has some choice words about MJ's appearance.

Full transcript after the jump!

So, listen, what was I thinking? I was either feeling extraordinarily amibitious and full of myself or super-drunk. What was I doing answering the door in a towel? I look like MJ wearing a bikini. Oh my God. I'm whore-ified. Whore-ified. Not with an "h," but W-H-O-R-E-ified. WHORE-IFIED.

Then my old ass is going to a club, fist-pumping like I'm in Jersey, popping bottles, licking armptis, and making out with anyone that would make out with me? I need therapy. Actually I'm in therapy. I need to fire my therapist and hire a new therapist cause clearly the s---'s not working. Oh my Gpd. The Shahs of Sunset is over. I"m moving to Portland. It'll be the Shahs minus Reza. I need to go into the Witness Relocation Persians are Never Going to Talk to Me Program.

Then, I go to the Tehran drinks party, and people are telling me Tehran is [MJ's]cousin. I don't have any cousins that aren't my cousins. Do you? Cousins are cousins and friends are friends in my life. There are no cousin friends in my world.

So we're there, her ass is there, looking like a 10-pound sausage stuffed into a five-pound casing telling Lilly she shouldn't be wearing that outfit. Bitch, do the mirrors in your house talk to you and tell you you look good? Cause if they do, they're lying to you. Like, oh my God. Then I give a toast, and I exclude her, and you guys see her chunky butt walking down the street, thinking I'm being mean when actually she's the one always throwing me under the bus. I'm just stronger than she is.

I'm still thinking about the jelly rolls hanging over the towel when I went to the door. What was i thinking? Oh my God. That is the worst of the worst. And did I spray on, like, PAM, on my face or something? Like, I was greasy as hell. Can you guys even see me or did I blur the screen? Oh my God.

MJ: Shervin's Biceps are Intimidating

MJ dishes on the flamin' hot photo shoot with Shervin. Do you agree with Nima's theory that girls like likes?
MJ: Yes, Nima is correct. We live in a world where the intention of social media is to bring us closer together. But in fact, it's relegated us to "likes," and Nima is no exception. Attractive pics selling the dream are what people do. Perhaps, this was the epitome of living the dream, the ultimate example of #LivingVicariously. Did Shervin rock the Flamin' Hot Cheeto shoot?
MJ: Shervin is too humble; he downplays his greatness. I look forward to seeing him bust out of his cocoon. It's probably a Nor Cal thing -- in Silicon Valley brains over everything. Bottom line, his biceps intimidate all men. How disastrous was GG's decision to confront Mike at Shervin's party?
MJ: GG needed to do what she did. The secret needed to finally be delivered to Mike. Jessica, poor thing, does not deserve this. Golnesa and I tried to reach out to her that day, but it's a far from perfect situation.

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