Cast Blog: #SHAHS

The Definition of S---show

Reza discusses what a nightmare Asa's friend's pool party was, and compares MJ and her dogs.

Full transcript after the jump.

So you guys just got done watching Episode 2.

MJ's roly poly dogs are kind of just like she is. They got to the snacks faster than GG's dog. That's the same thing that happens when me, GG, and MJ are out. MJ gets the Scooby Snacks before GG has a chance to get to them.

Anyway, from there we head into that beautiful meal with Asa and her family. And tadig literally is Persian crack. But the truth is every Persian mother wants their kid to be a doctor, lawyer, or an engineer. Um, hello, it's 2012. We don't all have to do the same thing.

But what'd you think about my date with Adam. How cute was that date right? And that comment about the flambé. Why are you serving flaming desserts when there's queens in the class. Was that like. . .was she coming after me? I should have stabbed that bitch when I had the chance. I was holding that knife. You saw me slicing that s--- real cute.

Can we please talk about the s---show which is also known as the Solati pool party? Did you see homeboy bite it? He literally came to go in the pool and it was like watching Humpty Dumpty fall. Literally he went spla-tat and fell in the pool. And it was a wrap. There was no food. I think there was an old Persian pimp there. Someone might have said the f-word that rhymes with maggot when I was walking by. It was craziness. And of course, GG pops off, as per usual. And what does Asa do? She went doink and MJ and GG both bit it, because both of them were drunk.

I could not wait to get the F out of there. That was a s---show. If you want to look up s---show in the dictionary, they'll be a video blog of the Solati pool party instead of the word "s---show." You’ll just watch and you’ll be like damn, "that was a s---show you was right."

Anyway you guys, I've got more important things to do right now. I've got to get this offer submitted so I can get this money so I can look good for you guys. So I'm going to say goodbye until Episode 3 and peace.

MJ: Vida Wiped the Floor with Us

MJ opens up about Pablo's death and the epic ping pong game with her mother.

The day that Pablo's little heart gave out was one of the most shocking and sad things for me to accept. I always imagined that I would have to be heavily sedated the day this happened, inconsolable and mad. But that's not what happened. Although I was in shock, I just kept walking on Santa Monica Boulevard, taking the long way home with him in my arms wrapped in a blanket. I stared at him, and just tried to take in the last moments possible. I wanted to feel the weight of his little body in my arms and say goodbye to his sweet little face. This little man of mine is gone. I worried about Julio and how this would impact him. Julio has never known life without his big brother. I worried about how the news would impact my mom and dad. I was terrified to tell them that it happened. I came home and called Pablo's veterinarian. They gave me the three options: burial, cremation, and taxidermy. I called the taxidermist and followed their instructions. He had to be frozen until the taxidermist could receive him. I realize that most people would have dropped him off and had him cremated, but that process is not something I was prepared to do.

Vida was the regional ping pong champion of her time, and apparently very much a champion to this day. Vida's skills have not weakened over the years. She wiped the floor with our asses. Golnesa and I could not keep up with her! Two against one would seem unfair, and Golnesa and I are pretty athletically well rounded -- we ski, we play lots of sports pretty well. Nonetheless, our minds were blown by Vida, and I am proud that she was so dang good! She definitely beat us in that sport, but luckily I inherited my parents’ good genes and am glad to know that she has something to do with the other sports that I excel in.

 
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