Cast Blog: #SHAHS

The Definition of S---show

Recap: The Shahs Peace Summit

Recap: Recipe for Disaster

Asa's Profound and Cathartic Trip

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

The Return of Lochnesa

Mike: I Will Marry Jessica Soon

Reza Dishes on His Engagement

Recap: Make a Run for the Border

Mike Shouldn't be "Scared" of Other Religions

Recap: Turkey with a Side of Apology

Mike's Inner Struggle

Lilly's Disrespectful Behavior

Mike Takes GG's Side

Recap: Outed by Chihuahuas

Reza: "Lilly Doesn't Understand Friendship"

Lilly's Battle with Foot Boogers

Recap: Always a Lady

Recap: A Little Too Much Diamond Water...

The Shah of Bull Sh--

Reza: "I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut"

Ep 8: Persian Empire Divided

Will Mike Put a Ring on It?

Reza Learns the Power of Apology

Recap: Shah-etiquette

MJ Owes GG a Genuine Apology

What MJ Did was Wrong

Loch-Nesa vs. MJ

Asa's Juice Disaster

Recap: Persian Pride?

MJ's Moral Compass is Way Off

An Offer Lilly Can't Refuse?

Recap: Homo-Not-So-Genius

Mike's Disappointment with Reza

Asa: "I Definitely See Why Reza is Irritated"

Reza on the Fight: "I'm Not Proud of It"

Lilly Needs to "Get More Real"

Reza to Lilly: "Get Off Your High Horse"

Cry Me a River

Mike: Master Negotiator

Lilly: Ain't Nobody Got Time for This

The Definition of S---show

Reza discusses what a nightmare Asa's friend's pool party was, and compares MJ and her dogs.

Full transcript after the jump.

So you guys just got done watching Episode 2.

MJ's roly poly dogs are kind of just like she is. They got to the snacks faster than GG's dog. That's the same thing that happens when me, GG, and MJ are out. MJ gets the Scooby Snacks before GG has a chance to get to them.

Anyway, from there we head into that beautiful meal with Asa and her family. And tadig literally is Persian crack. But the truth is every Persian mother wants their kid to be a doctor, lawyer, or an engineer. Um, hello, it's 2012. We don't all have to do the same thing.

But what'd you think about my date with Adam. How cute was that date right? And that comment about the flambé. Why are you serving flaming desserts when there's queens in the class. Was that like. . .was she coming after me? I should have stabbed that bitch when I had the chance. I was holding that knife. You saw me slicing that s--- real cute.

Can we please talk about the s---show which is also known as the Solati pool party? Did you see homeboy bite it? He literally came to go in the pool and it was like watching Humpty Dumpty fall. Literally he went spla-tat and fell in the pool. And it was a wrap. There was no food. I think there was an old Persian pimp there. Someone might have said the f-word that rhymes with maggot when I was walking by. It was craziness. And of course, GG pops off, as per usual. And what does Asa do? She went doink and MJ and GG both bit it, because both of them were drunk.

I could not wait to get the F out of there. That was a s---show. If you want to look up s---show in the dictionary, they'll be a video blog of the Solati pool party instead of the word "s---show." You’ll just watch and you’ll be like damn, "that was a s---show you was right."

Anyway you guys, I've got more important things to do right now. I've got to get this offer submitted so I can get this money so I can look good for you guys. So I'm going to say goodbye until Episode 3 and peace.

Asa's Profound and Cathartic Trip

Asa opens up about her expereince at the Iranian border.

Thank God that I'm a captain's daughter and grew up on boats and hovercrafts and do not need anything inserted to not get sick, LOL! Reza and Golnesa are cracking me up here. Hahaha!



Yachting all day on the same waters my wonderful father sailed in his youth. Such a wonderful day hanging out with my friends. Away from the B.S. and in this beautiful place enjoying each other’s love and company. Princess Island was so relaxing and charming. Every restaurant was a seafood restaurant, and I was in heaven! When I saw the tears in Merc's eyes, I could feel that she was ready to “go there.” I am so proud of her rawness about what she wants and her needs. After all, how can we achieve something we can't even visualize or speak of? I am here for her for strength, love, and support through thick and thin. She will be a wonderful mom!


By the great power of Destiny and Will, Reza, my Mom, and I were able to find a way to make a personal pilgrimage to the border of Iran, where all of us and our ancestors were born. It was such a long, intensive, and at times dangerous journey there, but this was nothing compared to the 30 years we have been waiting to go back home.Without getting too political, I wanted to explain to those who might not fully understand our inability to safely go to Iran. The fact alone that I am a political refugee is not the only reason. While I'm a very proud Iranian and feel a great responsibility to shed light on all the wonderful things about my culture, I also feel socially obligated to be honest about the things terribly wrong with the government of Iran. Iran sadly is a tyranny and deals with political dissidents (that's anyone with an opinion) as criminals. It jails, tortures, and executes its own citizens for simple expressing a political opinion. Think about all the individuals, comedians, talk show hosts, or journalists expressing various opinions here in the US about the president or government... In the US it's called freedom of speech. Well, this freedom does not exist in Iran. The number of “political” prisoners and executions of the latter is staggering. So, somebody whose art deals even mildly with such things and is considered “Islamic Feminist” going to Iran safely is pretty much out of the question.

Back to our beautiful pilgrimage to the center of my heart. Throughout the whole day, my Mom, Reza, and I were like silent warriors. We were all dealing with our own personal emotions throughout the journey while also in the collective experience. On the flight and the bus ride, it was sheer excitement. Then on the last leg of the journey in the Kurdish car, we all lost it. Listening to our favorite old Persian song on our iPhone and nearing the Iranian border, tears of joy and sadness starting falling endlessly.

It was so incredible for me to have my Mom, who sacrificed everything in her youth to make a brighter future for me and my brother, with me. I could feel her pain and joy and see it in her eyes. Reza and I really bonded on a primal level, and I will never forget these moments we shared together. I felt that we were making this pilgrimage for all immigrants, all refugees, all displaced people in the world.Then as I got out of the car and smelled the familiar air, a feeling of complete joy and euphoria came over me. I was not sad anymore. Nor was I missing it the way I used to. I surrendered all those heavy feelings right there on that earth. As I said, when you embrace the big monster, it melts away.

We all have landmark events in our lives. This was one of mine. Going to the border of Iran with my Mom and Reza was one of the most profound and cathartic experiences of my life. I am forever grateful and enormously blessed to have been able to have this experience. And I’m thrilled that I was able to share it with you all.