Hello my Shah-skies! And we’re back!
Before I start, I have to share this photo with you. I finally met Vida in all of her Zebra glory on premiere night. Her lipstick was Persian red, and her comedic timing was spot-on. Out of the five pictures we took, this is the one she approved:
Now let’s get to it! Season 3 of Shahs kicked off with a bang. Lilly being a prom queen; Asa sharing her newly found mantra of health and positivity (and promising her mom that she’ll buy her plastic surgery with her first diamond water check); Jessica going to a Judaism conversion mixer with Mike (even though there’s no ring on it) only to have an awkwardly conversation with a circumcised 75-year old; And Vida being afraid of crocodiles… what more could we ask for?
Before we get to Lilly’s dirty 30 Persian Prom, let’s talk about Reza’s negotiation skills.
My dad always told me that the best way to learn how to negotiate is to go to Iran. Reza stuck to the book. He left his wallet in the car. He asked the dealer if they had any relatives in common, and told them exactly what he wanted. But nowhere in the Iranian handbook does it say to wear your pompadour hairdo for negotiation. Why does he insist on this look? I think that’s where Reza went wrong, unless he thought the dealer had an affinity for Persian bull runners.
The kicker was when the dealer said you can have the car for $65K flat, or you can have it for $60K plus tax and license. Um, did the dealer just try to pull one over on Reza? If you factor in tax and license, you’re looking at a LOT more money than $65K. Thankfully, Reza walked away, and I commend him for that. I also have to commend him for owning a condo and buying a Porsche. A lot of Persians in L.A. rent a shoebox apartment, and then buy the Porsche…because it’s all about keeping up an image. He’s our very own Persian Suze Orman. But that pompadour in a Porsche…DENIED!
Next, I HAVE to talk about MJ and Vida. This scene warmed my heart. I don’t know what I loved more: MJ and Vida progressing their relationship, or the fact that Vida chose a big wheel to ride around the lake. I wanted to put a Dukes of Hazard flag on her Big Wheel and cards in her spokes. Amazing. Just one thing… can someone please tell Vida that there are no crocodiles in L.A.? The only crocodiles that exist in L.A. live on Reza’s Louboutin loafers. I laughed out loud when Vida got offended by MJ telling her to act more like a teenager (“kind of like Cyndi Lauper”). Vida’s response was priceless: “I am Vida and you are Mercedes.” Thanks for the lesson, Vida. Now can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? MJ, perhaps choose a Persian icon next time? Maybe Googoosh?