All I can say after this crazy episode is, “WOW.” Too much happened. What started out as a light episode turned into a standoff between Lilly and MJ. Not shocking. These girls have never been able to be in a room and keep it cordial. A lot of you commented that I was taking MJ’s side last week and said I was being impartial. The truth is, I am not biased. Here’s what I should have written and didn’t. MJ should have absolutely RSVP’d like the rest of the group; she shouldn’t receive special treatment. But the truth is, Lilly was rude to MJ, and (though I get why) the reality is she shouldn’t have invited her in the first place. More on that later…
Here’s a quickie about the episode: Pablo and Julio got some action in Tupperware; GG and Lilly became friendlier when we found out GG has been dating Sean; Reza and Adam moved in together; Lilly told us she was ready to start dating; her brother told her she doesn’t have much time left because her eggs are drying up; Asa had Diamond Water problems; we saw the beginning of what might be a rift between Mike and Reza at work; MJ paid Leila a visit during which we found out about her divorce; GG gave MJ s--- about the infamous Evite, and Lilly and MJ had a standoff at GG’s dinner.
Before we get into the drama, let’s talk about something a little less stinky (yes, LESS stinky)… expressing anal glands. MJ called Mikey-poo over for help with poor Pablo and Julio’s anal glands. You see, dogs have to have their anal glands expressed every once in a while. I can’t say I’ve never done it myself because that’s something I pay someone to do. But if it’s an excuse to drink, then why not? I mean, expressing anal glands at home must be less traumatic for dogs, kind of like when pregnant women get a midwife and have their babies at home, except instead of a bathtub, you use Tupperware and take shots of tequila.
But I suppose the only way to express a chihuahua’s anal glands is to take shots of tequila. This must be what the people do in Mexico at a donkey show?! I don’t know what was funnier: the fact that MJ actually asked someone to help her with this task, (and asked if Mike ever sticks his finger in his butt to make sure it’s clean) or seeing Pablo and Julio in plastic Tupperware? Mike made the first attempt at the procedure, and then MJ took over. And I assume the glands were “expressed” when Mike said the dog queefed. Mike, I love you, but I have to give you a little lesson in human anatomy. Pablo and Julio are boys, they can't queef. It’s physically impossible.