Cast Blog: #SHAHS

Reza: "I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut"

Recap: The Shahs Peace Summit

Recap: Recipe for Disaster

Asa's Profound and Cathartic Trip

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

The Return of Lochnesa

Mike: I Will Marry Jessica Soon

Reza Dishes on His Engagement

Recap: Make a Run for the Border

Mike Shouldn't be "Scared" of Other Religions

Recap: Turkey with a Side of Apology

Mike's Inner Struggle

Lilly's Disrespectful Behavior

Mike Takes GG's Side

Recap: Outed by Chihuahuas

Reza: "Lilly Doesn't Understand Friendship"

Lilly's Battle with Foot Boogers

Recap: Always a Lady

Recap: A Little Too Much Diamond Water...

The Shah of Bull Sh--

Ep 8: Persian Empire Divided

Will Mike Put a Ring on It?

Reza Learns the Power of Apology

Recap: Shah-etiquette

MJ Owes GG a Genuine Apology

What MJ Did was Wrong

Loch-Nesa vs. MJ

Asa's Juice Disaster

Recap: Persian Pride?

MJ's Moral Compass is Way Off

An Offer Lilly Can't Refuse?

Recap: Homo-Not-So-Genius

Mike's Disappointment with Reza

Asa: "I Definitely See Why Reza is Irritated"

Reza on the Fight: "I'm Not Proud of It"

Lilly Needs to "Get More Real"

Reza to Lilly: "Get Off Your High Horse"

Cry Me a River

Mike: Master Negotiator

Lilly: Ain't Nobody Got Time for This

Why Can't MJ Just Say "I'm Sorry"?

Reza: "I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut"

Reza shares his thoughts on the crazy showdown with Mike at the Diamond Water party.

Happy New Year! We've been gone for so long, and I'm happy to be back communicating with you guys. You just watched an action packed episode, but the moment that stands out most for me that I can't believe I'm sharing with you guys is MJ and her sex tapeS. Yes, big 'S', as in there are many of them. I'll never forget the moment that she shared them with me; it was instantly burned into my hard drive. The most interesting part about it wasn't that I was watching my best friend in a hardcore XXX movie, but the fact that she was referring to it as a work of art. Making mention of every curve and beautiful attribute of her physique. I'm thinking, this bitch is crazy! Doesn't she know that eventually this will end up on the internet? We're not looking at an oil painting here, this is a porno, a very well made amateur porno, but a porno nonetheless. I digress, luckily, I remembered which one of her computers it was on and a disaster was avoided. We laughed a lot that day, but I hope this scare taught her a lesson and that she deleted those movies. What do you think?

From one train wreck to another, we follow Mike into a "meeting" with "Baller 1 and 2." That was a joke, I literally thought 'Crockett and Tubbs' were around the corner waiting to raid the joint (for those of you who don't remember, that's a 'Miami Vice' reference). That didn't look like any real estate office I had ever seen. Where were the files, the papers, or anything else you'd find in a normal office? Why is Mike looking for a get rich quick scheme? I'm not an expert, but that type of business doesn't look appealing to a “real” real estate agent. Was it me, or did it look like Baller 1 had a lot of mousse in his hair, circa 1990?

Watching Jessica cook Shabbat was really heartwarming. She's a great girl and she really loves Mike. She really deserves a ring, better yet, she's earned a ring. I'm really glad that Mike's mom checked him on the: "I want a big ring to blind the haters." If you want a big ring, buy one, but let it be for positive reasons, not for the haters. Can you imagine if Mike didn't have those amazing parents? It scares me to think of where he'd be without them.

Finally we get to the Diamond Water launch party. I have to take a moment and give props to my girl Asa, she actually made it happen. She turned her dream into a reality, and as far as I'm concerned, Diamond Water is already a success, regardless of the number of bottles sold. Unfortunately, that night wasn't just about Diamond Water. There were so many issues in the group that they trickled right into the party, pardon the pun. I was really hesitant to see Mike and I think you could see why. He rolled in as drunk as a wino. His first DEMAND as he entered the room, after he took his bow, was for a vodka and red bull. How ironic, he was ready to charge at me that night. There was clearly no reasoning with him. He was pounding drink after drink and after several “f--- Reza” comments and “let me feed you fatty,” I lost my cool and clowned him on his shoes, bad move on my part. Looking back, I was really disappointed with myself. I wish I had kept my mouth shut all night. We did attempt to have a conversation, but I was more focused on the flaring nostrils and the teeth grinding, than anything else. From that point on, it became about damage control. I had caused enough of a ruckus and wanted to end it. Luckily Jessica came to the rescue and took Mike home. At that point he was going from rage to tears, he wanted to hit me AND cry on my shoulder. I'm thankful that neither happened and that we'd attempt to have a conversation at a later date when Mike was able to articulate a thought.
"I haven't been to Turkey since I had chicken," really??? I know Asa was disappointed with us that night, but she didn't even get the reaction she deserved after inviting us to a family reunion in Turkey. She deserved an apology from me, and I gave her one privately. I'm lucky she accepted after my childish behavior that night.

What did you think of the episode?

See you next week and thank you for watching.

Asa's Profound and Cathartic Trip

Asa opens up about her expereince at the Iranian border.

Thank God that I'm a captain's daughter and grew up on boats and hovercrafts and do not need anything inserted to not get sick, LOL! Reza and Golnesa are cracking me up here. Hahaha!

Yachting all day on the same waters my wonderful father sailed in his youth. Such a wonderful day hanging out with my friends. Away from the B.S. and in this beautiful place enjoying each other’s love and company. Princess Island was so relaxing and charming. Every restaurant was a seafood restaurant, and I was in heaven! When I saw the tears in Merc's eyes, I could feel that she was ready to “go there.” I am so proud of her rawness about what she wants and her needs. After all, how can we achieve something we can't even visualize or speak of? I am here for her for strength, love, and support through thick and thin. She will be a wonderful mom!

By the great power of Destiny and Will, Reza, my Mom, and I were able to find a way to make a personal pilgrimage to the border of Iran, where all of us and our ancestors were born. It was such a long, intensive, and at times dangerous journey there, but this was nothing compared to the 30 years we have been waiting to go back home.Without getting too political, I wanted to explain to those who might not fully understand our inability to safely go to Iran. The fact alone that I am a political refugee is not the only reason. While I'm a very proud Iranian and feel a great responsibility to shed light on all the wonderful things about my culture, I also feel socially obligated to be honest about the things terribly wrong with the government of Iran. Iran sadly is a tyranny and deals with political dissidents (that's anyone with an opinion) as criminals. It jails, tortures, and executes its own citizens for simple expressing a political opinion. Think about all the individuals, comedians, talk show hosts, or journalists expressing various opinions here in the US about the president or government... In the US it's called freedom of speech. Well, this freedom does not exist in Iran. The number of “political” prisoners and executions of the latter is staggering. So, somebody whose art deals even mildly with such things and is considered “Islamic Feminist” going to Iran safely is pretty much out of the question.

Back to our beautiful pilgrimage to the center of my heart. Throughout the whole day, my Mom, Reza, and I were like silent warriors. We were all dealing with our own personal emotions throughout the journey while also in the collective experience. On the flight and the bus ride, it was sheer excitement. Then on the last leg of the journey in the Kurdish car, we all lost it. Listening to our favorite old Persian song on our iPhone and nearing the Iranian border, tears of joy and sadness starting falling endlessly.

It was so incredible for me to have my Mom, who sacrificed everything in her youth to make a brighter future for me and my brother, with me. I could feel her pain and joy and see it in her eyes. Reza and I really bonded on a primal level, and I will never forget these moments we shared together. I felt that we were making this pilgrimage for all immigrants, all refugees, all displaced people in the world.Then as I got out of the car and smelled the familiar air, a feeling of complete joy and euphoria came over me. I was not sad anymore. Nor was I missing it the way I used to. I surrendered all those heavy feelings right there on that earth. As I said, when you embrace the big monster, it melts away.

We all have landmark events in our lives. This was one of mine. Going to the border of Iran with my Mom and Reza was one of the most profound and cathartic experiences of my life. I am forever grateful and enormously blessed to have been able to have this experience. And I’m thrilled that I was able to share it with you all.