The Shah-cation continued this week, and while I thought Mike was going to be the problem, I was sorely wrong. He ended up being good times Mike. Remember good times Mike? The one that used to joke about the doodool tala? Yup. That guy showed up.
The night went off without a hitch, so much that GG needed her morning hangover cure: 3/4 Corona, 1/4 Sprite, and a Xanax or what I refer to as “Hair of the Persian Kitty.” And Mike announced to Shervin, Asifa, and his once fashion nemesis Mr. Sewn-In Vent Bobby that he’s going to propose to Jessica. The morning seemed to be going well, until more Persians showed up and then it became a scene out of the movie 300.
Shervin’s rich friend Bobby (Bobby #2 AKA Bald Bobby) showed up, and so did MJ’s friend from last week’s episode, the Persian Tripod. All was OK until GG said she likes guys with tattoos. Bobby #2 boldly blurted out that he has a small tattoo on his penis, which Asifa, the Persian Penis Police, decided to deem as “gross.” Yes, Bobby #2 got a penis citation, and he didn’t like it. In fact, he hated it so much he decided to lash out at Asifa in a BAD way, and while he was at it, he decided to pick a fight with Bobby #1.
The best back and fourth of the whole fight? “I’m going to rip your f---ing veneers out.” And Asifa so lovingly came to her boyfriend’s defense with, “They’re real teeth.” That’s right, Asifa! Tell him! We don’t like anything fake! No fake purses, and certainly no fake teeth!
The good news out of all of this? Bobby #2 got escorted out of the house and hopefully out of the area code… Oh and Mike was redeemed. He finally isn’t the butt of all small penis jokes. Saved by the bell, Mike got a text from Jessica to “save her.” Little did she know that she was the one doing the saving…
After all the fighting, our Shahs sat down to eat, because fighting makes you hungry. All seemed OK, until MJ decided to bring up Reza’s bachelor party. She decided that Reza and Adam will have two separate bachelor parties and they will happen concurrently, because MJ wants to get her bestie Reza laid. This doesn’t sit well with Asa or Adam, because Asa wants to go and Adam wants to be there to make sure Reza’s zipper is super glued. Something tells me that the battle of the bridesmaids has just begun.
Back from Malibu, Reza and Asa had bigger fish to fry. Asa had to make sure her dad’s microwave didn’t mess with the energy flow of her house, while Reza had Adam’s parents coming to town from Oklahoma.
After a Hollywood ghost tour gone wrong, and a Persian sit-down dinner with Persian split pea stew, Adam’s dad finally came around. It had potential to go south, but the opposite happened. Adam’s dad finally opened up in the best way he could. The Oklahoma license plate slogan is true, “Oklahoma is OK!”
If Adam’s family and Reza stop and think about it, they have a lot more in common than they think…they’re both Sooners. The Persians took over L.A. and made it their own just as the Oklahomans did back in the day. And why they couldn’t just huggy buggy it out all along, I have no idea.
Until next week… l’m going to huggy buggy on out of here.
Comments? Tweet me @nadinerajabi.
Nadine Rajabi is a television producer, writer, and stand-up comedian from Los Angeles. Most importantly she's Bravo’s in-house Persian.