Cast Blog: #SILICONVALLEY

David's Start-Up Advice

Kim Talks Shonova

Ending the Friendship with Sarah

David's GoalSponsors Progress

Kim Quits!

Hermione's Start-Up Meltdown

Is Sarah the White Oprah?

Ben and Hermione's Brawl

What's Ben Worth?

Sarah Defines Date-Cheating

A 'When Harry Met Sally' Relationship

Sarah's Guide to Dating Geeks

Sarah, Jay, and Hermione's Love Triangle

"Dating in Silicon Valley Sucks!"

Stuck in Between Sarah and Jay

The SXSW Debacle

How (Not to) Pitch for Investment

Just Say "Yes"

No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

David's 'Twilight'-esque Complexion

David's Start-Up Advice

David shares his top ten tips for success.

I feel like I should be writing about the ridiculous gag gift strap-on that I bought for Hermione's birthday party and, to my surprise, witnessed her put on and parade around for all to see. But I think that whole situation speaks for itself -- it was a funny, priceless moment of entrepreneurs goofing off, and in a place where work is almost constant, having a good time like that was well worth it. And that's all I'm going to say about that!

So here's what's really on my mind right now: I read an article the other day that said something that's been resonating with me for every day since: "The default state of your start-up is failure, and the only one that can change that is you." (Source here.) Honestly, I have a big fear of failure and a fear of letting other people down, and it's the reason why I've been so resistant to look outside myself for help. I've kept from aggressively seeking funding. (I'll admit I've looked into it and asked around a bit, but then when I don't feel an immediate sense of excitement or interest, I tell myself I don't need it and go at it alone.) I've been really stubborn. But when I think about what my best moments with GoalSponsors have been (and worst, to be honest, haha), it's been when I've reached out to interact with other people for help.

Which brings me to Appcelerator. I've been really fortunate to have the help of this great company to build my business, GoalSponsors. I'm sitting in their office right now and continue to work with them to develop my app, and it all started literally with a cold email that I sent to their marketing team. I didn't know anyone there, and I was just hoping someone would take interest and respond. Thankfully, they did, and I'm eternally grateful for that!

But for every cold email I send that gets a response, about 10 go completely without a reply. And I'll be the first to say I have not replied to emails before, because I knew that replying would do more damage than simply ignoring, but being on the other side, I must say it hurts to get no response. Each email I send that doesn't get a reply feels like a failure, over and over again. Welcome to start-ups.I'm learning the hard way, for sure. Let me share some lessons to hopefully save the trouble for those who are thinking about taking the plunge...

1. Get a cofounder. If I had to do this whole thing over again, I would get a cofounder that I loved being around (in and out of the workplace). Because at times like this, where I feel like I'm trying to move a mountain by myself, having someone around to keep me afloat would be priceless. Even today I wish I had one. My next start-up won't have a single founder.

2. Fake it till you make it. I've seen time and time again entrepreneurs over-inflate their numbers, oversell what they really have to offer, and even blatantly lie (e.g. "our traffic is totally organic" when it's not), and I've always thought it was unethical. But I've realized that "hustling" is really what most of the effective entrepreneurs are best at. There's a way to do it without lying, and there's a way to do it that's ethical. If you can't sell what you're offering, nobody will want to buy it... and everyone has to start somewhere.

3. Have fun. I've been missing out on this at the workplace. I do it on nights and weekends, but the place where I'm spending most of my time is the place where I'm lacking fun the most, even though I do enjoy programming. I'll admit that doing the same thing for 60 hours a week, even if you love it, is too much.

4. Stay connected with others. Even though I work around other people, I've been generally keeping to myself. I haven't reached out to other people, even if it's just for lunch, because I don't want to get distracted and thus be unproductive. I've been getting feedback from customers and regularly reach out to them to make sure they're happy, but my lack of interaction with others, whether they are other entrepreneurs or investors, has left me still to fend for myself when I hit a tough roadblock.5. Know why you're doing it. It's amazing how easily we lie to ourselves -- in fact, it's basically programmed into us at birth. We rationalize why we are happy with what we have in our lives, whether it is our job, our house, our spouse, or our friends. But we need to know and feel in the deepest place of our hearts why we have something and be honest with ourselves. Not everyone is Mother Teresa, so if helping the world 24/7 isn't something that resonates for you, that's OK. Be passionate doing something that does resonate for you, whether it be painting, throwing parties, or eating cake.

6. Do what you love, but don't let the rest of your life fall by the wayside. If you love eating cake, then by all means, eat cake. But keep the rest of yourself in check or you won't be eating cake for very long! Life was not meant to be a one-track record -- make use of what you've got. If you're reading this blog you already have more than about half of the world, so take up the opportunities you have!

7. Be thankful for what you have. Every day of start-up life has a never-ending list of things that go wrong -- conversion rates aren't as high as they could be, customers aren't staying around as long as expected, someone wants to delete their account and won't tell you why -- but for each of those things that's going wrong, you have things that are going right (otherwise you wouldn't still be doing it). People are spending money, people write to tell you how much they love your app. You see people losing over 10 lbs within a couple weeks. Things like this make it worth it. This is why I keep a note by my bed that just says "3 things I’m grateful for."

8. It's OK to fail. This is one of the hardest lessons to learn, even in Silicon Valley where failure is embraced arguably more than anywhere else on the planet. All failures fade with time and are eventually forgotten, but usually their lessons are not. The world does not end. Brains don't explode. Angels don't lose their wings. Life goes on. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

9. Expect haters, doubters, and the like. In some people's eyes, every entrepreneur is a "wantrapreneur" until they have a big, successful exit and everyone in the valley knows their name. This is stupid and exactly the opposite of what Silicon Valley is about. If you want to be an entrepreneur, don't let the haters stop you. Live the life you want to live and ignore the hate. The good news is that if you don't let these things get to you, they will ultimately eat their own hearts out, not yours.

10. Do something that adds meaning to your life. There are many ways to make money, and not all of them give a person meaning in life. If you're doing something that doesn't give you meaning, it will feel empty, no matter how many billions of dollars it makes. You won't be happy. I had a business like this once, and I'm glad I gave it away. But that's a story for another day.I'll be honest that I don't know what the future holds for GoalSponsors. I'm hyper-present to what I have been failing at and am currently doing wrong, and I'm grateful to know that it makes me exponentially more likely to be successful in my next start-up to make these mistakes now. Sadly, I still have to go fix these mistakes and make up for lost time, and I'm hopeful it will make GoalSponsors successful. That said, I acknowledge that there's a 9 in 10 chance that my startup, like all startups, will fail. But I'm still here, still working on it. Today, I'm still in the game.

Keep watching Start-Ups: Silicon Valley Monday nights at 10/9c on Bravo! Also, feel free to check out my app, follow me (Facebook, Twitter), or book me for speaking engagements by emailing the address listed at the bottom of my website!

Cheers,
Dave

Ending the Friendship with Sarah

David reacts to Sarah's accusations.

Building a product is hard enough, but launching it and putting a big event together to generate marketing buzz for it at the same time was almost enough to put me over the edge! But I've been working my butt off to get GoalSponsors out the door and launched, and after several months of effort, I was able to have a successful launch event and gain enough buzz to get a great set of beta users to test out the product! It's live in the app store if you'd like to give it a try:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/goalsponsors/id563679640

I'm proud of myself, for sure, but I definitely didn't do it alone. There were several other companies that have helped me quite a bit, including NoXcuses Fitness and especially Appcelerator, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to help me make my app and my launch a success. A good number of people showed up to the launch event -- not an AMAZING number, but a strong 100-150ish, and after all the beta signups, I've been able to test my product out on real people, get feedback, and launch something that's now helping people achieve their biggest goals in life! In fact, the total weight loss of our users is in the hundreds of pounds, and we've only been live for the past month or so! On the business side of things, life is going well.On the personal side of things, not everything is so great. It's really hard to see someone that you've been close to turn around and do something to hurt you. When Sarah asked me to meet with her that day, she sent a text asking if I had time to get together and when I asked what it was about, she alluded to it being about business, and then quickly changed the subject. Nevertheless, I showed up in generally good spirits, so I was caught completely off guard when she accused of "physically assaulting," even "tackling" her -- thank goodness the world was able to see the moment she was referring to, in which she tries to interrupt Hermione's presentation at my event and I come to her calmly and escort her away from the stage, smiling and being generally friendly, as I didn't want to create drama at my own event.

So that hurt me quite a bit. Also, she was upset that I didn't provide a booth for her, but she literally never asked me, and the truth is (and I told her this) that if she wanted a booth, all she had to do was tell me and I would have given it to her. Ben and Hermione asked, and that was why I gave them one. Sarah never did.

There's a lot more to that conversation at the Four Seasons, from accusing me of trying to keep her and Hermione apart to trying to take credit for someone else's work in helping put together my event, the list of things she threw at me that day was quite large, and to this day I don't understand why she did it, knowing that I was her confidant, that I was there when everyone else was against her... why me, of all people? Was it just to create drama? Just to establish herself as the queen bee or, dare I say it, the villain?Needless to say, that was the last conversation I had with Sarah. I'm all for second chances when people make mistakes that were unintentional, but the kind of cold calculation Sarah did that day made me realize that it is better for me to let the friendship end and not do anything further to try and continue it. For once I was a part of the drama, not just the instigator of it -- and boy was that a reminder that it's better to be on the sidelines when the poo hits the fan!

Thanks for watching Start-Ups: Silicon Valley! Feel free to check out my app, follow me (Facebook, Twitter), or book me for speaking engagements by emailing the address listed at the bottom of my website!

Cheers,
Dave