David Murray

David reveals how torn up he was after Jay left.

on Nov 19, 20120

Let's start on a light note, shall we? I finally got to share with the world my Cantonese skills at dinner in Mountain View at Fu Lam Mum! I love everything about the language, and I especially am a fan of everything Hong Kong -- it rivals Toyko as my favorite place in the east. Would you believe I still haven't been there? I'll admit that I have a secret fantasy of being Bill Murray's character from Lost in Translation, flying around various places in Asia as the token white guy on commercials. If you know anyone who can hook me up, tell them to email me at the address listed at the bottom of my website! I need the money, haha, especially considering that I've liquidated all my cash, investments, and everything else to my name so we can keep our house. And it's true, I am hella strapped for cash, enough to ask Sarah to loan me some (and get denied, oy vey)! At $10,000 a tweet, Sarah only needs to write about 40 characters to afford a $3k loan, no? It's OK; another friend of mine gave me the loan, and -- here's the kicker -- I paid it back in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS by working my ass off on my contract programming gig. I would never ask for money if I couldn't pay it back quickly. And I proved that. Now hopefully I'll never have to do that again.

Which brings us to, well, the poo hitting the fan. Hermione says it right: "Having enemies in Silicon Valley is bad for business." That's why I do my best to get along. But as each day goes by, it gets harder and harder to stand by Sarah's side while she alienates and upsets other people that matter in my life. I can definitely say it's not common Silicon Valley behavior to throw a drink in someone's face. If someone's angry at someone, they might write some passive-aggressive tweets or even a nasty blog post about shady tactics used in their business. But throwing drinks is an aggressive act -- it's using physical force with the intention of causing harm to someone, which is the dictionary definition of violence. And folks in business out here won't go far if they use violence as a tactic of self-expression, no matter how innocent it may seem.

10 comments
fishgirl@ec.rr.com
fishgirl@ec.rr.com

You bring such a refreshing, nice vibe to the show, it's fun to watch you. It seemed pretty clear from the start that Sarah was not going to be the genuinely nice person anyone would want in a friend, and that was proven all over this episode. I'm a little confused about Sarah's money situation. She claims to make $10,000 a tweet (or whatever it was she bragged about) yet Hermione said Sarah hadn't been able to afford a plane ticket & hotel room at SBSW, and then Sarah turns you down for a small loan of &3,000. If she makes the kind of bank she says she makes, neither of those expenses would be too much for her. So, which is it ? Could it be that Sarah's bragging about her income is, like so much else about her, fake, and staged? I felt terrible for you when she turned you down. I have loaned money to friends on several occasions, and think it is what a real friend does, if necessary, in order to help. It seems Sarah is only concerned with herself. She's so busy convincing herself of her own fabulousness, that she never looks around to see anyone else, unless they can help her advance. Your buddy Jay is way too nice, fun,and handsome for a mean girl like Sarah. He deserves much better, and so do you!

Just_A_Viewer
Just_A_Viewer

I think you are very funny and you speak chinese very well. LOL I was so impressed by your chinese.  I felt so bad for you when you asked Sarah for money and she didn't want to help you.  I loaned out my money to friends (couple thousands here and there) and still haven't received any money back.  I don't want to ask because I know my friends are struggling, but it has been more than 7 yrs.  Anyway, I do not think that you should cry because Sarah threw the drink to Jay's face.  I honestly think that Jay deserves it.  As a girl, I believe that what Jay did was very disrespectful.  I do not like Sarah though but let's be fair.  What Jay did was not cool.  I don't care how cute he is, but what he did was unacceptable.  that's the probably with cute guys - very lazy and no motivation.

modernista
modernista

You are such a solid good friend. I don't think Sarah deserves your friendship.

nvs
nvs

I'm glad to see you're becoming skeptical of Sarah, however, I could tell she was fake, insincere, irrational, and caddy before the first scene she was in was over. I attempted to reserve total judgment until after this second episode. I assumed the teaser commercials they were showing where she threw the drink in Jays face for "date cheating" (WHERE THE HELL DID SHE COME UP WITH THIS INSANELY RIDICULOUS TOTALLY MADE UP TERM...date cheating, seriously??) was edited to make you think the worst; that this chick actually threw a drink in a guys face for going on a date with another girl. I sat through the whole episode waiting to see the truth...and it was exactly what it seemed it was going to be...which BLEW MY MIND.

 

I appreciate that you're reflecting and seeming to disapprove of her actions, but honestly, I really like you, and hoped you'd let Sarah run off and stew in her own bad behavior. It almost seemed the way you ran after her that you were on her side. I realize they're both your fiends...but when one is sitting there wet for no reason, you don't chase after the friend who was CLEARLY in the wrong.

 

Dump this girl like a bad habbit...I can see a nasty email to a potential business associate in your future if you rub her the wrong way...get out before it's too late!

awex
awex

You are great, truthfully the only thing I ever questioned about you was your friendship with Sarah. Your blog post above eliminated all doubt! I love Goal Setters and am wishing you lots of success with it. Also, you and David were very sweet together. One line that stood out to me tonight was when you were speaking about how you two own a house together and that is as close to married as CA will let you. I just want to show that footage to Congress and shake it in their face!!!!!!! Rawr.

justbn
justbn

David, I adore you & think your idea is great & soo needed but i don't understand why your Goalsponsors need to be professional people? Wouldn't passion & first-hand experience be allot better? I would rather have someone who's been thru the disappointments of trying to lose weight and achieved it than a fitness trainer that's never struggled with their weight. Or an x-smokers who knows the difficulties that a smoker will run into & overcome to stop smoking..I feel there's no comparison with someone who's never smoked and has no idea.  p.s. Sarah wouldn't been helpful, she was being nosy. If you want to know someone look at their friends, drop that zero! Pls try to include more of your Cantonese...luv it!!

Forreal123
Forreal123

You are likable and it's easy to gravitate toward you. Lending money to friends is a very delicate matter that can break a friendship - I learned that the hard way.  However, you do not appear to be a swindler. Sarah should have loaned you the money.  

MeTu
MeTu

Sarah only cares about herself, her tweets & her list...LoL

fishgirl@ec.rr.com
fishgirl@ec.rr.com

@Just_A_Viewer I strongly disagree with you. In what way did Jay deserve to have a drink thrown in his face for going on a date with another woman?? Sarah's behavior was inexcusable, and she should apologize immediately. I honestly do not get why she, or you, would dream that just because she and Jay had been on ONE date (and a casual one at that), Jay deserved to be punished for taking someone else out for dinner and dancing. Sarah's immature jealousy reared its ugly head, and she lashed out at Jay because in reality she wished it were she who was taken out to dinner by Jay. Sarah comes across as mean spirited, and territorial. One date does NOT mean two people are in a relationship, much less an exclusive one! She was way out of line to treat Jay so shabbily. Jay realized during their "date" that he wasn't very interested in Sarah, perhaps because she made assumptions about the date that were completely off base, used him as entertainment for her "followers", and was sarcastic and condescending in her treatment of him. I thought Jay was pretty forgiving about the fact that she was discussing their date during their date, and soliciting opinions about him from her readers. He remained friendly, and polite, despite Sarah's rudeness. Sarah thinks that she is so hot that men will put up with anything she does just to be with her, but she couldn't be more wrong. When your true character is exposed, somehow the outside package is no longer attractive, even for "good looking men". It seems to me that Jay is deserving of a woman who will be respectful of him, and not act like she's the greatest thing he's ever had the opportunity to date. Sarah was mad that she'd been tested and found lacking, the fact that she's already jealous of Hermione only mad her madder. Sarah is not a nice person. Jay is, and he's looking for a woman who is, as well. Sarah is a very mean person.

Robert_SF
Robert_SF

 @Just_A_Viewer  This was a very sexist statement. Just because he is a man doesn't box him into a certain personality and shouldn't cast his actions or statements automatically into a certain light or motivation. No, he didn't deserve a drink in his face for going on a date with someone else. He's not Sarah's property and that kind of agressive retaliation and vengeful entitlement is scary! What if he had mentioned that it had become physical with Hermione? God help him against Sarah's wrath! This was totally assault and she could have and should have been arrested.  Thank God he was somewhere with witnesses to keep her in some sort of control...

 

it's disappointing that today people still think that escalating to a physical response like this for an emotional hurt is acceptable...if one of the male characters had had his feelings hurt (and that's ALL this was), and threw his drink in a girl's face for "date cheating" (whatever that is)...well, I expect no one would defend him. They would castigate him, and rightfully so. To immediately and instinctively get that physically agressive is wrong and dangerous.