As the Butthole Surfers once sagely noted, “. . . you never know just how you look through other people’s eyes.” But last week, when Bravo’s Start-Ups: Silicon Valley aired to 88 million homes, it was virtually guaranteed that I would know exactly how I looked through other people’s eyes.
Episode 1 of any reality show is dedicated to introducing each cast member and establishing their relationships. This “packaged intro” is spliced together from hundreds of hours of interviews and footage and aims to give viewers a sense of each character’s traits, habits and flaws.
As anticipated, my character was received with a predicable combination of: 140-character psychological assessments by strangers, perfunctory “likes” from friends, enthusiastic “comments,” old school hatin’ from the haters, and some darnn good questions about what the heck I was thinking when I said:
1. "My tweets are worth $10k!" God, I wish -- I would do nothing but sit home and write haiku tweets! I was talking about my work for a large software company (hint: think Washington based tech titan who dominates the PC operating system market) who was doing a major promotion around their new search engine launch. They approached me at a time when Vanity Fair had dubbed me “America's Tweetheart,” the Huffington Post named me one of the ten Hottest Girls @Twitter, I was writing for Forbes.com, and was occasionally touring with Lady Gaga as one of her backup “monsters.” I misspoke to say a single tweet went for $10k -– it was actually a handful of tweets (5-7) and it was part of a larger body of work which included a video.
2. "It takes me 3, 4, sometimes 5 hours to get ready!" Most days I lack the time or inclination to do much more than slather on sunscreen and Chapstick. In this case we were talking about getting ready for big events, photo shoots, or other high profile outings. Yes, it’s dorky, but I love having my friends over so we can all get ready together. Three to five hours isn’t me in a room by myself spackling cake on my face –- it’s a group of us sipping wine and catching up on the latest while we slooowwwlyyy get ready. This is not to say I won’t dilly dally if I’m left alone -– but never more than an hour, I promise!