Amy Phillips' Tips for Dressing as a Housewife
Halloween special! The comedian shares essentials for going as Ramona, Heather, and more.
Halloween is nearly here and you're still scrambling for a costume—but there's no need to flip over a table. We asked our Real Housewives super fan (and ace impersonator) Amy Phillips to weigh in with her tips for nailing to perfect costume, whether its Lisa Vanderpump, Heather Dubrow or the 'RHONJ' twins! Plus: revisit her hilarious impersonations so you can definitely nail that Housewives affect.
You can't go wrong with a Ramona costume—she’s a real Housewives classic. A blonde wig with bangs and a blue satin dress are a must. Overachievers, try to find one with a square neckline. In order to get those Ramona eyes right, darken your outer eyelids with black shadow and drink three or four Red Bulls to keep that look of wide-eyed surprise all night long. If you can get your hands on a case of authentic Ramona Pinot Grigio, then hats off to you! Say things like, "I don't get my hair wet—I just had a blow out!" Bring a fake bottle of Xanax and if any party goers get out of control tell them to "Taaaaake a Xanax! Caaaaalm doooown!" Last but not least, be the life of the party by doing Ramona’s signature dance move “Turtle Time!"
Dahhhhling, who wouldn’t want to walk in Lisa's pink shoes for a day? Press-On pink nails, pink cheeks, pink lips, even pink or purple eye shadow. If you don't have a pink dress, a pink blouse with a pencil skirt will work just fine (make sure you pop that collar). Wear a long, dark brown wig while speaking of Sur. Load up on the faux diamond jewelry, find some Rosé, and try to sit near a vase of roses at all times. Lisa's little dog, Giggy, is paramount to this costume. If you can’t afford a $5000 teacup pomeranian, than get a stuffed animal and dress it in a tuxedo. If you are unable to attend a Halloween party, just tell them that you have to work at Villa Blanca (that excuse works every time). If you want to win Best Costume, and you know an older man with grey feathered hair, get him to dress up as Ken!
The 'RHONJ' Twins
Double up with your bestie and go as Teresa and Nicole from RHONJ! Get a long, straight, dark brown wig for Teresa and a long, wavy light brown wig for Nicole. The big difference between the two is Teresa wears her hair to the left and Nicole wears her hair to the right. They love a strapless dress in red or blue. If you can get similar short white dresses, you'll nail it! Pick up Dunkin' Donuts coffee cups to accent the outfits. Bronzer, bronzer, bronzer—hell, make that a spray tan! Be sure to talk about Bobby, family, and Italian long hot peppers. It's important to talk over each other loudly, too. If you want to go Inception deep—that would be a costume within a costume—go as Teresa and Nicole dressed up as first responders.
Give the Dutch accent your best shot and you're half way there. Wear a head-to-toe white outfit and a short white blonde wig. If you want to go as "sporty Yolanda" and you have good credit, take out a personal loan and buy some Lululemon workout clothes. Carry a basket of lemons in one hand and a glass of the Master Cleanse in the other. "Hello my looove!" will be your signature phrase all night long. Request that only David Foster piano music be played. Extra points if you can get a friend to dress up as her custom-designed refrigerator!
What better way to enjoy onion rings and Champs than dressed as Heather Dubrow for Halloween? Don a black dress, a black wig with a widow’s peak, your best know-it-all attitude and you're off to the races. Don’t forget to mention Malibu Country and Hawaii 5-0. Don’t let anybody forget! Most importantly, if you’re going to be Heather, than you must be the hostess of the Halloween party. Be sure to scold each guest if they are late. At the end of the night you may point to the door and say to your guests, "We're done, please leave."
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