Following Bethenny Frankel's departure from Real Housewives of New York, the Skinnygirl mogul seemed to have it all—successful business, newborn baby, and a happy marriage. But that didn't last for long.
Things unraveled, and Bethenny was back to square one, going through a bitter divorce and becoming a single mother. But the best selling author is taking it all in stride, turning it into an opportunity to grow. "I learn more from my mistakes than my successes," she tells People.
Turning to humor post-split, Bethenny recently penned I Suck At Relationships So You Don't Have To, opening up about personal experiences that have deterred her from having happy and healthy romantic relationships—and dishing advice to help readers not go down the same path.
"Fear is the biggest issue for me in relationships," she admits. "If I allow myself to really love, which has only happened twice in my life, the notion of being this age and only loved twice in your life—the math is scary. When you actually feel that, it's terrifying because you don't want to lose it."
Another piece of advice (and something she regrets not doing)? Go with your gut. "Everyone always talks about going with your hear or your heart, but I think you should go with your gut," she says. "Your heart might be telling you, 'I love this person. I love sex with this person,' but you might not be compatible. And your head can say this person is great on paper, but your gut can tell you when something is off."
Slowly learning how to navigate the dating waters again, Bethenny realizes that she has to learn from her past to create a more successful future. "I'm not Freud, I don't want to go back to the womb, but I think it does have to do with my past," she admits. "My fear of being left and abandoned. It's scary to open up and connect because the idea of not ever speaking to someone again that you care for is very scary to me."