Jimmy Kimmel addressed the scourge of promposal videos spreading through the country and the interwebs on his show Wednesday night, specifically the ones teenagers have directed at celebrities. For example, 17-year-old Jacob Staudenmaier made a viral video in which he staged a La La Land parody in order to ask grown adult actress Emma Stone to his prom. She turned him down with a very affectionate letter, saying she’d be in London while he was shuffling around the gym floor in Phoenix, but it was too late — Jacob had already been thrust into the spotlight, likely inspiring lots of other entitled teens to reach for the stars, literally, while on the dance floor.
And Jimmy was not having it.
After introducing Jacob’s story, he called for an end to all celebrity promposals and had some harsh words for Jacob and any copycats out there. “Listen, kid,” he explained, “Emma Stone, whether she’s in London or not, doesn’t want to go to the prom with you — at all. Like, it’s probably the last thing she wants to do, and not because she’s in London working. She doesn’t want to go to a dance with you because she’s 28 and 28-year-old people don’t want to go on dates with 16-year-old children because it’s creepy.”
Jimmy continued, “Why do we find it so socially acceptable for a boy to ask an adult celebrity on a date? What if it was the other way around? What if Shailene Woodley — no, you know what, what if Shia LaBeouf showed up at a high school looking for a date? He’d be arrested, right?”
He also criticized the imposition of a gesture like Jacob’s, adding, “In fact, this is a hostage situation. If Emma Stone didn’t respond, she’d look like a jerk.”
Jimmy seems to be in general, pretty shocked by the “audacity” of teens these days, with their selfies and their confidence. He said he would never have dreamed of asking out Heather Locklear as a kid — and he's here to pierce even the most arrogant teen's confidence.
“Selena Gomez doesn’t want to make out with you, okay?" he ended, "Go to the cafeteria, find someone your own age, and paw him or her in the back of a limo.”