Which Housewife Has What it Takes to Slay the Evil Queen?
Reality meets fairy tale as we wait patiently for 'Snow White and the Huntsman.'
Mirror mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest Housewife of them all?
With Snow White and the Huntsman a little more than a week away from changing how you think of the fairy tale forever, it got us thinking: Which Real Housewives star would have what it takes to bring down the Evil Queen? In the film, it's Kristen Stewart as Snow White vying against Charlize Theron -- who judging from the trailer, absolutely kills it in the Evil Queen role -- but which high-heeled Housewife could get medieval on the crowned one? A Snow 'Wife, if you will? Here's our picks:
Snow 'Wife: Caroline Manzo
Province: New Jersey
Battle Cred: If Caroline has proven anything over her time as an NJ housewife, it's that she'll go to hell and back for her family, and if you try to mess with that in any way, you're toast. Sure, some of you might say that Teresa Giudice is the no-brainer pick heading into a fight, but Caroline's cool-and-calm demeanor and that rip-your-face-off-if-you-mess-with-my-brood mentality gives her the edge in taking on the Evil Queen. Simply put, if push comes to shove, we want the bulldog on our side.
Snow 'Wife: Vicki Gunvalson
Province: Orange County
Similar to Caroline, Vicki isn't the loudest drama-filled Housewife in her crew, but get her mad and it is ON in the O.C.. You saw what happened when she lost it on Gretchen Rossi during bunko night. She went into straight-up beastmode at the drop of a hat, unleashing the demons as ammunition. When someone's got that fire burning inside them, you do not -- repeat, do not -- want to fan the flames. Hence, Vicki's our go to Orange County 'Wife if war with the Evil Queen is inevitable -- though newcomer Heather Dubrow might be a sleeper pick thanks to her acting chops. Hey, you never know when playing possum or another fight-swaying charade might come in handy.
Snow 'Wife: LuAnn De Lesseps
Province: New York City
When staring down a Queen, who out of all of the Housewives would have more of an advantage than a Countess? Sure, the title comes from a previous marriage, but pitting royalty against royalty just seems like a smart move here.
Snow 'Wife: Kyle Richards
Province: Beverly Hills
Whether family (her epic battles with sister Kim) or her self-declared "chess game" friendship-stalemate with Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle's a pit bull in lipstick and heels. Just watch what happens when you drop a "b----" nametag on her. Charlize doesn't want any of that.
Snow 'Wife: Phaedra Parks
Sure, NeNe Leakes would have been the easy choice here. There's no doubt she'd likely be the fiercest warrior of all of the Housewives combined -- yet it's Phaedra's understanding of the afterlife thanks to her skills as a funeral director that is quite intriguing to us. Who better to deal with the spells and twisted magic the Queen can unleash than someone whose business is death -- even if it's respecting and nurturing it as opposed to dealing it out? There's something to that logic.
Tell us in the comments below who you'd take into battle to slay the Evil Queen, and get ready for Snow White and the Huntsman to hit theaters on June 1 with some exclusive clips at the film's site.