Let's just get straight to Calvin's pregnancy/cancerous dress.
This is one of those times were the wearability of a garment really needs to come into question.You could do a survey of every woman in America and find that they do not enjoy looking pregnant (save Angelina Jolie). I love Mother Earth as much as the next granola-cruncher, but the idea of wearing a dress that makes me look pregnant, especially the kind of pregnant that results in carrying one's unborn fetus in the sternum is the opposite of the right thing to do.
However, if Calvin wants to design a maternity wear line for expectant mothers looking to forge a new society in the wake of a post-apocalyptic society a la Children of Men, he might have found niche.
Sorry to go all Ricky Gervais on you, but one more barb: If someone was actually pregnant wearing Calvin's prego dress, it would look like a two-scoop ice cream cone.
If you want more hatred towards this maternity monstronsity, see this week's incredible judges-filled quote gallery, but we here shall move forth.