The Hungry Ruffle

Simon Doonan. Simon Doonan! SIMON DOONAN!

I love him so much. I love his genius shop windows. His hilarious prose. His incredibly enviable life with Jonathan Adler and their little pooch Liberace. When I heard Simon Doonan was coming I was as excited as Santa Claus, prepping my mind for his greatness to shine down.

And did it shine down! Like a great Northern Star of inspiration, the Doonan's wonderfulness was catching, and nearly everything the designers churned out was incredibly, endearingly oddball. From the pig coat (we'll come back to that in a second, I promise) to Calvin's Alice in Wonderland gloves/dress combo there was a lot of joy in this episode.

Perhaps it's because I'm a bit of a glutton for accessories (I've never encountered a shiny thing I didn't immediately pin to my outfit), I thought this challenge was a gem. The designers all got a little bit out of their boxes (or nests, as the avian-inspired Emerald did) a bit.

Dominique went especiallly hack-a-do, with a Memoirs of a Hunchback gown and a little pig coat was a special treat. If I had been handed that Judith Leiber-esque swine I would have never taken it to the Japanese-style anime swinging jacket place, but when Dom (can we call her that now?) did, all I could saw was "that'll do pig." (Granted she could have gone a little upmarket with the fabrics, that was a little more bad bacon then pork belly in quality, know what I'm saying people that also watch Top Chef?)

Over on the other side of the animal kingdom, the House of Emerald was dealing with a raging case of the bird flu. Birds on your capelets, birds on your head, birds sticking together. After convincing Cesar that he shouldn't go Jackson Pollock on his lovely ivory dress, it seemed a shoe-in (in, not on your model's head Calvin) that he would win. His two dresses were innovative without about being all shouty about it, which is exactly the sort of thing Simon and Iman et all adore (Iman even tried to take it from that poor model, let her find another outfit first Iman!). That leaves Calvin, who spent most of this challenge in space, but somehow managed to pull in the reins enough at the end to do something worthy of the highest praise he's gotten yet. There was no need for his figural feeling's figures to hide in his model's head because he was fine.

Instead it was our dear Eduardo who was faced with a dilemma. He had a hat that looked like Slash could have sold it at a garage sale in the late '90s, and a belt that looked like Slash also could have sold it at a garage sale in the '90s, but he didn't see the connection. Instead of going rock 'n rolla (shout out to my dear friend Guy Ritchie). He decided to, surprise, make some ruffles.

This is when Laura Brown stepped in to let us all know that The Hungry Ruffle could be Eduardo's signature children's book (since it didn't work so well on this show).

The Hungry Ruffle ate a Simon Doonan provided accessory.

The Hungry Ruffle ate a model.

The Hungry Ruffle ate the runway until Iman told him to stop because it would spoil his dinner.

He should really talk to someone about that book (I'll illustrate Eduardo, call me), because the Hungry Hungry Ruffle had to go.

As great as something is, you can't just go back to it over and over again. Sure, I'm really good at making grilled cheeses, but I can't make a grilled cheese collection and win The Sandwich Show: Ultimate Sammy Collection with them, because eventually I need to show the judges that I can make a really great poboy, or BLT, or some other bread/meat/fixings combo that shows them I've got the raw sandwich making talent needed to branch beyond my usual territory. If you had only showed us your other sandwiches Eduardo! We had so many other unruffled things we wanted to eat, er, see.

No if you'll excuse me, I’ve got a collection to make. These sammies aren't going to sew themselves.