Let's just start the party with this: A beer was released in time for the holidays, named, ready for it? Bïeryoncé. But if you blinked, you missed it. Because now the drink is already RIP... thanks to a cease-and desist letter to the Brooklyn brewery from the queen herself this week that kiboshed it.
But the name got us thinking about all kinds of other drinks with cheeky, funny, or even naughty monikers. Consider bringing these as a hostess gift, or serving them at a party, as ways to tacitly, festively communicate little messages without actually, you know, having to say them. Or just announce the names jauntily on a chalkboard hanging from the punchbowl... and watch from a safe distance as those eyebrows go up and the pop-cultural or political convo starts to flow.
1. Short Trip to Hell
This drink looks refreshing but a few too many may have a guest waking up in the host's bathtub. What? Don't judge. Nothing wrong with a hard, ceramic bed. Pull the shower curtain closed please... it's called privacy! This drink's made with peach, strawberry, wild berry Schappps, Red Bull, and a shot of Jagermeister. We told you it was sneaky.
2. Drunken Elf
Drink this and you may really see one (or think you do). Bacardi Golden Rum and pink lemonade, topped with a candy cane will have you purchasing expensive presents online in no time. Or at least having actual fun — god, is that so wrong?!
3. Ginger Two Snaps Up
Vodka, ginger liqueur, agave syrup, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg. Tastes like a cookie. Will have you talking smack.
4. The Kim K.
Mmmkaay? The girl loves to stick with nude colors, just do a shot of Bailey's in her honor. Matches all her Yeezy outfits.
5. Khloé's Kleveland Kocktail
OK, we made this up, but since Cleveland is having a cocktail resurgence and Khlo-Khlo is now living there with boyfriend Tristan Thompson, it's red in his team's honor. Let's go with a spiced pomegranate cocktail. Throw in some vodka, pomegranate juice and seeds, lime juice, whiskey bitters, and mint. Voila!
6. What Did Trump Tweet Now?
Who knows what you'll get or what's in it? Just know it could leave an odd taste in your mouth.
7. Fake Brews
Just have some non-alcoholic beers on hand and a mocktail for anyone who doesn't drink/is pregnant. Nobody wants to feel like a freak.
8. The Mariah ScareyHoney loves the holidays, but is known to cancel an appearance or two. You will too after downing this concotion. Ever mix milk and vodka? Have fun.
That should be enough. Happy Holidays and good night. Lushes.
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